Thinking of spying on the guy im dating

[Anon31483]

Have done this before, was outside his house and waited for sometime but didn't see anything. We have had conversations about fidelity etc and he was pretty clear he does want me only and me him. Due to a traumatic event where a guy a couple of years ago, posed as single while he was married, it's impossible for me to trust 100% anyone I'm romantically involved with. The past few weeks I noticed a change in behaviour in him. He did seem to not initiate contact with me and not really asking to meet me. I brought the issue up with him and he said he has some issues with work recently and responsibilities like for example he argued with his boss as he was changed area and with his son. We've seen each others 2 years now but we are not what I would say full on committed, we are exclusive though and a steady presence in each others lives. I am thinking to spy on him outside his flat. I'm just wondering if it's better outside, behind a large Bush, or inside the flat entrance, I can hide either upstairs so I view his flat from above, or downstairs so I can view the flat from below but I think it may prove risky if I bump into a neighbour. Any thoughts

@Anon31483

Don't tell me you haven't thought of doing the same please at some point in your life as I won't believe you

Then you need counselling to work through that.

A majority of people have arguably thought 'I don't trust him so I need to end it' but to genuinely consider stalking someone is not normal, healthy or acceptable in any way shape or form.

If a man or woman did this to me I would be scared of them and their behaviour.

Due to a traumatic event where a guy a couple of years ago, posed as single while he was married, it's impossible for me to trust 100% anyone I'm romantically involved with.

Then stop looking to get romantically involved with people.

Relationships are not a God given right and if they turn you into a weird stalker, they're clearly not for you anyway.

Find yourself a hobby instead.

If you realise in a relationship that you are always the initiator, always available on tap, that's when you hold back to see if they step up. If they don't, you have your answer.

You'd be surprised how many young people live their lives like this due to the massive amount of useless feckless fodder thats available for young women to date.

Go to the gym all day, and have on hold as many pretty lasses in their contact list as possible.

I feel sorry for many young women today.

By the way I'd disguise yourself as one of those metal shoot bins they have in blocks of flats.
Dump him love, you can do better.

The past few weeks I noticed a change in behaviour in him
Because your behaviour is not OK at all. Nobody has to tolerate your level of bullshit, sort yourself out

[quote Anon31483]@seensome I've asked him already if he wants to end it. I would just want not possibly disappear on me and just let me know if this is the case.[/quote]
Well I suppose if you just crack on as you are then eventually he will want to end it and Hey Presto you get your very own self fulfilling prophecy proving that you can't trust any men 100%. Sounds perfect.

@Anon31483

I'm definitely not gonna contact him anymore.

The thing is yes he should be honest enough to end it if he doesn't wanna continue anymore.

Not really as you're quite scary and he's likely terrified of what you might do. You are the problem here

What are you expecting to see ?

If it's been two years and you aren't even officially together then I think you've bigger problems. Probably wouldn't wait two months to become a persons gf. Sounds like he is stringing you along u till something better shows up. Or maybe just someone who hide in the bushes outside his house watching him every time he is too busy to return a call lol.

*someone who wont

What a load of shite

This has got to be a wind up :S

@MiniTheMinx

You'll need one of these camo hats

What hats?

Military look is gonna be in fashion this year

Surely this is a wind up post? I've had two unfaithful long term partners, which, yes, I admit can cause trust issues. But I would NEVER stalk a partner or potential partner. That's pretty much abuse and an invasion of his privacy!

And then who is gonna tell you they are unfaithful lol

If you were to conduct surveillance, then guides such as how to be a private investigator would help to explain the main points ect.

Anyway I just wanted to see if something was going on. Obviously waiting outside the house is gonna be hit and miss anyway, I might see something I might not. I will leave it for now. He knows what's the right thing to do anyway and I ve been honest with him

Wow. This is bonkers.

You don't trust him, so end it yourself now. No relationship can function properly without trust.

He needs to refer you to national stalking helpline.. This isn't normal.

Uh huh

He told you - it’s up to you where you go from here ,
If he loved you he wouldn’t be saying this. He’s telling you loud and clear your relationship is low on his list of priorities and he doesn’t care if you call it a day .
You really don’t need to be hiding behind a bush to see that surely.
Your trust issues are yours and yours alone . Get some help before you start a new relationship

Leave him OP. Try to build up your own self confidence before embarking on another relationship. Please don't spy on this chap though, walk away with your head high and concentrate on you for a while. Good luck!

If you have no trust, you have no relationship, not one remotely worth having anyway.

I'm not gonna contact him anyway now.

I was pretty spot on the last time we spoke, I told him it's not only up to me where we go.