Anyone actually enjoy giving BJs?

[Loveandlust]

Sorry to be crass but OH and I are at a point where we've had our 4th baby within the last 6 months and my self esteem regarding my body is pretty low but I'm working on it. We hardly ever have sex and neither of us seem to mind as we're both knackered. However we have talked about it and feel like we probably should make more of an effort. I just cannot bring myself to do all those things like BJs, different positions etc like when I was younger. I'm not sure I ever loved doing those things tbh. When we do have sex it's ok. Is this just tiredness??? Anyone actually enjoy giving BJs? Does the spark cone back??

Popped up into my head once and orgasmed while giving a BJ. Surprised us both!

I love it. It was our only option when I was pregnant, due to complications I wasn’t allowed PIV. I was so horny I would often orgasm just giving a BJ as a result of DH’s reaction. It still turns me on years later.
DH was OK at oral but I encouraged him to brush up his skills watching porn (it has its uses and we do watch it together sometimes). He’s pretty hot on it nowadays.
I think when you’re younger and pre kids sex is more spontaneous and physical so you don’t need to plan it like a military campaign, but post kids it can become boring because you are distracted by a potential audience.
Believe me it gets better once kids are no longer around, although the body is not as keen so you need to diversify sometimes.
It also helps when you have completed your family. Having sex for fun is so much more fun.

Not keen giving and actively dislike receiving.

I love it, turns me right on.

How can you not like recieving? Maybe you're with the wrong partner!

@Iamclearlyamug

I love giving but don’t enjoy receiving - I have a lucky fella 😂😂

Ditto!

@nolovelost

How can you not like recieving? Maybe you're with the wrong partner!

Sure because all women are exactly the same with the same turn ons, same pressure points, same orgasms...

As long as he is lying down and I can be in control of pace etc. I won't allow my head/hair to be gripped or the man (DP at the moment) to push it into my throat. No cumming in my mouth.

I find it demeaning to give it to a man who is standing up with me on my knees. Did it when I was younger. No way would I do it now.

No I do not enjoy giving BJ. I actually hate it. Haven't done it in ages.

And I don't like receiving either.

OP you've got so much on your plate right now. It's so normal not to feel sexy / want to be sexy soon after a new baby and while breastfeeding. Honestly I think it's a natural, hormonal contraception haha from our prehistoric days when It would have been dangerous to get pregnant again so soon

Love it!

Not keen on receiving for various reasons

@Miseryl and this is where we all differ. Bloody love doing it when DH is standing up. Love how I feel his body shake and tremble

Never have I once enjoyed giving a BJ, even when my oh is fresh from the shower, which of course makes it more bearable. It's hard work, you get jaw/neck ache and it's sooooo boring. Then you get a mouth full of vile tasting spunk, op, you are not alone. I've been with dp for a long time and we hardly ever have sex these days, when when we did, with all the fancy positions, I'd much rather have been having it in a familiar position where I could reach my own clit to guarantee an orgasm. Maybe I'm in a minority and most women love all that....

I don’t like it, I do it but I find it boring and don’t really enjoy it tbh.

Boring?
It never takes long tbh

With my ex it did, he could easily lie there for ages having it done but then maybe I’m just crap at it as I hate it so maybe that’s why or maybe it just feels like ages again because I hate it

Nope. Don’t like it at all.

Don’t like giving but do like receiving. He doesn’t seem to mind!

Love, love, love it. Love it. Everything about it.

OP-
Interesting that you flagged being friends as part of the possible problem. Have you read / listened to any Esther Perel? She has some great ted talks and books etc, and is so good on the ways different roles in marriage can be anti-erotic.
Also, how’s your masturbation and ability to orgasm independently of him? I wonder if something like OMGYES might be a fun thing for you explore together...

@Campervan69

I remember being really creeped out when I was bf seeing dhs enormous head suckling my breasts when I was used to a downy innocent baby head there. That felt really wrong at the time.

I used to keep my bra on when I still breastfeeding so mine wouldn’t do this! It definitely felt wrong.

Post breastfeeding however, my nipples are more sensitive than ever, and I love DH sucking them now.

OP, yes I enjoy BJ very much. I don’t find it gross and I enjoy how much my DH likes receiving one.

OP nobody is the same, you need to listen to how you feel doing these things. You've admitted to not enjoying the differing positions etc..

No amount of .. Fuck Yes Love It.. replies on here matter one jot to your personal situation.

You either enjoy it or you don't.. 🌸

Dp loves performing oral on me but hates bjs... Which suits me fine.

I don’t care for BJs but will give them but it gets boring after a few mins. I hate receiving although I like the idea of it.

Aside from finding it excruciatingly ticklish, the main thing that puts me off receiving is that I know how tedious it is to give. I do give BJs occasionally but find it boring and uncomfortable. When the roles are reversed I just cannot get myself to orgasm knowing DH is probably thinking same thing about giving oral to me. Therefore I can’t relax for a second. We just don’t even try anymore. He always says he’s happy to but I’m a lifelong masterbater and know exactly how to get myself off very quickly. A man’s mouth on my clitoris just isn’t part of the process! I don’t find it sexy, nor know what to do/feel in that position.

Funnily enough, he is able to put that to one side and thoroughly enjoy receiving!

@Actuallyabitgreynow

If you don't enjoy it then don't it.

Me and DP's sex life is based almost exclusively on oral sex and mutual masturbation, it's what works for us and we both enjoy giving and receiving. Penetrative sex happens about once a week but neither of us are as fussed about that.

I thought we were unusual in this. Nice to know we are not unique 😂🤣 I enjoy receiving and giving oral.