Anyone actually enjoy giving BJs?

[Loveandlust]

Sorry to be crass but OH and I are at a point where we've had our 4th baby within the last 6 months and my self esteem regarding my body is pretty low but I'm working on it. We hardly ever have sex and neither of us seem to mind as we're both knackered. However we have talked about it and feel like we probably should make more of an effort. I just cannot bring myself to do all those things like BJs, different positions etc like when I was younger. I'm not sure I ever loved doing those things tbh. When we do have sex it's ok. Is this just tiredness??? Anyone actually enjoy giving BJs? Does the spark cone back??

I remember being really creeped out when I was bf seeing dhs enormous head suckling my breasts when I was used to a downy innocent baby head there. That felt really wrong at the time.

I love giving but don’t enjoy receiving - I have a lucky fella 😂😂

Yes I do as long as it's mutually reciprocated.

But then I'm a bit of a kinky sex freak and it would probably make your eyes water all the things I'm into.

I don't have much relationship experience having only ever been with my DH, together 18 years.

I enjoy it much more now as a woman in my 30s than I did as a teenager when we first got together. Probably just because I'm much more confidence in what I'm doing.

Sometimes I love the "power" I have over him (ie: I'm in control of his orgasm and that feels good sometimes) but mostly I love to do it because it pleases him and I love him.

That said, post birth of our DCs I didn't have a sex drive for some time. And lucky he accepted that. But I definitely found (and still do but less so now we aren't struggling with the "mess" that is life with newborns) him much more attractive and wanted sex with him much more when he did the fair share of childcare, housework etc.

Hell yes. With my boyfriend in particular but I generally like it. I have a bit of an oral fixation

I love giving. I also life receiving. I didn't enjoy receiving until I shaved my pubes in my 30s. Fucking hell it was a revelation! Like previously I'd been getting oral through a thick carpet of hair (yes I'm basically a human plushie) and now all of a sudden my clit was like "OH HELLO!" I guess before it was like if a bloke got a bj through a sock 😂

The best sex I ever had in LTRs was with an ex who had a similar attitude to mine - oral is the main dish, penetration is a garnish.

I sometimes wonder if people who don't like giving oral have had a bad experience previously - crap hygiene (cock cheese 🤮), an idiot who tries to grab your hair and fuck your throat, a lying bastard who says "I won't cum in your mouth" then does? Luckily none of those have happened to me at a formative time (plenty of other sexual trauma sadly 😒)

When I was very pushed for time with family life, I got into a habit of getting up an hour before needing to get DC up for school, enjoying a coffee in blissful silence, making OH a cuppa, taking it upstairs and saying "morning love!", quick shower and brush teeth while he blinked the sleep from his eyes - then back to bed, quick check if he had an erection (always unless ill) then saddle up and ride for a 5 min quickie. It was my routine maintenance of that part of the relationship, knowing that we'd have a leisurely session later in the month when dc were otherwise occupied. We'd both go off to work with a spring in our step. I highly recommend quick morning sex!

Not a fan tbh.

I love giving them.

Well I did before pregnancy,I'm just too big at the moment to get comfy to give them.

I do enjoy giving BJs and always have tbh. My DH does give when I instigate and ask for it as I have been self conscious of him going down there as I had so much break through bleeding on contraception. All good now and crazy fun. Would you enjoy it more if he could stimulate your clit while you're giving him oral so you are getting something good at the same time that's not oral? The position is a bit of a faff to get used to but it's stunning once you get the gist. Maybe mixing it up a bit would help. Lots of options and you both sound like you are a great team and love each other. Plus, kids!? It's tricky to get your mojo in the groove. Good luck!

I do, and the spark hasn't left.
If we're both tired I'd rather spend time with him than having disappointing sex. You can be close and intimate without a lot of effort!
Would you both consider trying new things? They don't have to be majorly kinky but maybe having something new to try would bring the spark back. Or, if you're able, go away for the night somewhere- it might relax you both and allow you to spend time alone with no distractions.

Nope, don't enjoy it at all. Hurts my mouth muscles and I can't get past the slimy saltiness. Fortunately my husband doesn't mind. I don't particularly enjoy receiving oral either, but one of my husband's missions in life seems to be to get his tongue down there. I don't understand him!

Yes I do enjoy giving them. I also like receiving.

I enjoy it very much however with a newborn number 4 I almost certainly couldn't be bothered!

Nope but I find sex a big boring performance generally!

I enjoy it.

@Goawaymuppet

Yes. love it

Me too and I swallow. If that’s not TMI.

No. Yuk. Gross.

Yep love them!

I love it, but then the pain creeps in, back of neck, jaw and creeping up to my temples, I wish it was all just a bit faster. does anyone have a way to avoid the pain? or am I just unlucky? I would usually do it as an part of foreplay rather than a stand alone act because of that.

@Loveandlust

If you don’t want to bother with BJs - just buy some lube and do a hand-J. He’ll enjoy it just as much and it’s less effort, and some would say less mess and yuckiness.

I get your point of wishing he ravaged you. But at the same time - going with your hornyness has its advantages. There are many women on here unhappy about being pressured to have sex when they don’t feel like it. You have a respectful H who helps and seems perfect in so many ways.
And consent/not forcing a woman seems to mean a lot to him. It’s a good thing.
Alternative is much worse.

Very happy to do it but not to orgasm as it tastes disgusting and there's far too much of it.

I can't do it.

I reckon if I could like a female form of Viagra it would make a massive difference. Me being in the mood (or not being!) feels like the issue here. OH doesn't seem to mind too much either way.

I can highly recommend an appointment with a good herbalist if you want to improve your libido! Although be gentle with yourself because life with 4 children just IS going to be different to life with none.

All of you who are getting neck ache... are you going from start to finish just the BJ? Do some hands or PIV for some of it!

I don't particularly enjoy giving them, although I do enjoy their appreciation of it. I basically give to receive as receiving is my favourite sex act ever.

Not really tbh. Always feel very self conscious.

@Tal45 - I don’t swallow, have done in the past though. I finish my DP to orgasm but I’ll use my hand to finish him off right at the end.