I’m going to keep it deliberately vague as this other person may well be on here.
A close family member of mine has recently become very very wealthy. We’re talking millions. It’s absolutely amazing for them and has and will afford them some wonderful opportunities.
I’m not jealous (I know, I know, easy to say but I really don’t think this is what this boils down to) but I just don’t know what we have in common any longer. All common points of reference are now gone. No longer do they have to worry about childcare costs or commuting or saving up for holidays or saving up for anything at all! Our houses are no longer comparable in size and the worries I have about mine (needs roof repairs, have to wait until I can afford) are not in league with the concerns they have about theirs (CCTV needs upgrading and new electric gate system) or where to buy a holiday home. So a lot of the everyday chatting points are just no longer there and I have no desire to highlight my own inadequacies on the money front when there isn’t even a bonding/moaning/solidarity in numbers point to be made - does that make sense?
I know money isn’t everything but even going out for lunch highlights the differences that for one a meal out is a luxury and for the other it is not at all. I don’t want them to feel like they have to act like they don’t have the cash but equally it’s difficult to know where we have any common ground anymore.
On the flip side I struggle not to inwardly at least roll my eyes at what they now consider to be problems, size of their tax bill, the fact that one cleaner alone struggles to clean their house and which private school to put the kids down for, it’s not in my world so I can’t help but think ‘that isn’t really a problem though is it?’ Which must sound incredibly bitchy.
Am I just being silly? It’s making me pull back from spending time with them as I just don’t know how to act/what to say. I love them and don’t want to feel like this, especially as the accusation of my feeling this way nearly always comes back to jealousy but I’ve examined myself harshly and whilst I’ve painted maybe a grimmer picture here than in real life me and DH aren’t doing so bad we’re just normal, can afford some holidays and some DIY but equally we have to budget for those things.