Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Aged 30, what would your dating age range be?

77 replies

Maria53 · 28/05/2021 22:48

Im 29 and I'll be 30 in about six months. I've had some great relationships and some not so good/experiences with commitment phobic guys in their 20s.

In my head, I have this idea that once I hit 30 it'll be no more immature guys in 20s so 30+ only. What do people think about having that as a rule do to speak? Would 40 be too old/potentially a guy just after a younger woman?

OP posts:
SuperSugar · 28/05/2021 23:28

At 30 I'd be looking for 30-35 but could possibly stretch to 37/38 depending on the person. But generally between my age and 5 years older would be the goal.
Not that I'll ever be looking again but that's my range if I was to be.

overwork · 28/05/2021 23:31

When I was dating I deliberately looked for younger men as I wouldn't have considered anyone with kids, and assumed that anyone much older must have commitment issues (yes, very judgemental!).

Saltyslug · 28/05/2021 23:33

27-42

MyHusbandTheIdiot · 28/05/2021 23:34

I’m roughly the same age - 27-45 I reckon I would be comfortable with without thinking twice. I’d push to 47/48 depending on his life circumstances/children or no children, did he want them etc etc

Wegobshite · 29/05/2021 00:26

If he breathing then he’s got potential 😂😂

Roberta268 · 29/05/2021 01:03

25-35 for me, possibly a year or two older. However, I agree with previous posters that it depends on the maturity and mindset of the individual. I met some very odd and/or commitment-phobic men in their 30s before settling down with a 25-year-old.

timeisnotaline · 29/05/2021 01:14

Mid 30s would be perfect, range 30-40. Especially if you look really young I’d prefer not to go over 40, harder to find decent guys who aren’t after the idea of 20 years younger. Plus age and sperm health... my dh is exactly my age, so I haven’t any actual experience but if I were looking at 30 would ideally be thinking a few years older.

Possuminthereddress · 29/05/2021 01:40

I’m same age as you. 28-35. Strictly no kids!

toadstool32 · 29/05/2021 06:36

I'm 32 dh is 40 but we were 23 and 31 respectively when we together. I've never been with someone younger than me or even the same age.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 29/05/2021 06:47

27-36

AuntieStella · 29/05/2021 06:48

Up to about 40

Dilbertian · 29/05/2021 07:55

I met dh when I was 30 and he was 27. (I thought he was even younger than that.) Turned out very well Smile Celebrating 25y next week.

I found that men more than 5 or so years older than me tended to be paternalistic, and that was a real turn-off. I like to be looked after, but I've already got a father.

cookiecreampie · 29/05/2021 08:14

When I was 26 I was dating men around 40 but I found them too old for me and boring. I met my husband at 28 and he was 3 years younger. I think it depends on personality type and on the individuals. I'd avoid vast age gaps but I also wouldn't think too much about it as long as you like each other.

Rightthen24 · 29/05/2021 08:24

I met my husband when I was 28 and he was 22, I didn't know how old he was at first as he looks and acts older, I presumed he was around my age 😂 we got married when he was 24 and had our first child was he was 28. It all depends on the individuals. If I was on a dating app/sites I would say 5 years either side would work best. Good Luck!

Blueskytoday06 · 29/05/2021 09:09

30-40

Umberellatheweatha · 29/05/2021 09:15

24-36

Mind you at 32 its 25-36 still.

DateXY · 29/05/2021 09:35

@Dilbertian

I met dh when I was 30 and he was 27. (I thought he was even younger than that.) Turned out very well Smile Celebrating 25y next week.

I found that men more than 5 or so years older than me tended to be paternalistic, and that was a real turn-off. I like to be looked after, but I've already got a father.

Same on the older men thing. I've never understood women who go for big age gaps but the paternalistic thing makes sense...I personally would hate it and find it patronising but I guess it works for such women who like it, whether consciously or subconsciously.
dottiedodah · 29/05/2021 09:48

I think at 30 maybe a 27/28 and anyone say up to 45 ? Older men may have been married before of course and have DC. Something to consider perhaps.Often we have rules that someone may be too "old" or too young ,however if you meet a guy and he seems nice, maybe focus on getting along together rather than worrying about age too much .

Lan2020 · 29/05/2021 09:51

I'm a bit weird as I tend to be attracted to older men. When I was 30 and OLD I set my search as 33-45, my partner was 47 so a bit older than I was originally looking for. We are still together and he's now 51.

Notmoresugar · 29/05/2021 09:53

Ideally 33+ 39/40 ish
Definitely not younger than 30.

A friends daughter is around your age and always goes for younger guys and frankly they're years behind her in terms of having the same goals and settling down etc.

They're just nowhere near it, but she's gorgeous and a great stop gap until they're ready (potentially 5+ year's time) and they end up wasting her time but frankly she wastes her own time.

Because she likes younger guys, it's like a rinse and repeat cycle that she stuck in.

coogee · 29/05/2021 11:13

Plus if he is over 40 I might be wondering why he hasn't settled down before? Is that not a concern?

Maybe he had, just that the relationship didn't last.

My husband was just over 40 when we got together. He had been married and divorced before that.

KaleSlayer · 29/05/2021 11:20

I think late 20s to mid 30s, but be open minded. More importantly I wouldn’t want to date a man who had kids already. Too complicated and causes issues that I couldn’t be bothered with.

updownroundandround · 29/05/2021 12:02

I've always found guys younger than me were either too immature or they were at a different 'phase' in their lives than I was.

Because of this, I never dated anyone younger than myself.

Even when I was a divorced mum, I couldn't bring myself to date anyone younger, but I think it was more because of the idea that they might want to have their own kids, whereas I knew I didn't want any more.

Sillawithans · 29/05/2021 12:43

If I was 30 I would not be looking at 45!
I would have gone maybe to 37, 38 but not younger.

SpacePug · 29/05/2021 13:00

I would do 30-35 I think. I'm 30 now too, I met my DH on tinder and I said I'd not date anyone younger than me. He turned out to be 4 months younger 😂 so I assume I put 26-31 or something (I was 26 at the time)

Imagine If I put the search as 1 year older 😳 I would never have married him and had my 2 boys