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Relationships

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Aged 30, what would your dating age range be?

77 replies

Maria53 · 28/05/2021 22:48

Im 29 and I'll be 30 in about six months. I've had some great relationships and some not so good/experiences with commitment phobic guys in their 20s.

In my head, I have this idea that once I hit 30 it'll be no more immature guys in 20s so 30+ only. What do people think about having that as a rule do to speak? Would 40 be too old/potentially a guy just after a younger woman?

OP posts:
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 29/05/2021 13:03

Probably 28 at a push to 40.

mariemare · 29/05/2021 13:08

If we're going to generalise about men...

Generally, I live by the 'half your age plus 7' rule so for 30, that would give you 22 to 46.

In reality... I find a lot of men have a mid-life crisis as they approach 30, so I'd probably be looking more around 31 to 38 for a relationship, or around the bottom end of the age range (22 to 24) for something less serious.

It's a tough age bracket. All the good ones are married by 26, and the single ones over that age are panicking about being grown ups, even though they should have grown up already.

Annasgirl · 29/05/2021 13:12

Well, OP, it all depends on the person. I met DH when he was 22 and I was 27. He was very mature for his age. Up to that all my boyfriends had been 2-3 years older than I was but they were all really immature. BTW, we are now married for 21 years. And have 3DC.

Livpool · 29/05/2021 13:47

I always thought 5 years either side, but I couldn't care less what other people do as long as it's adults

tct131416 · 29/05/2021 14:12

I'm 33, would probably set age as 35 - 44. I've never been in a relationship with a younger man as it doesn't really appeal to me... I imagine I'd feel like their mum in some way Grin

2orangey · 29/05/2021 15:40

30-40 and no kids for me.

WouldBeGood · 29/05/2021 15:43

If I were you I’d say 29-39 but wouldn’t date anyone with children.

WouldBeGood · 29/05/2021 15:44

If you’re really not fussed about having children I’d say 29-45

Opaljewel · 29/05/2021 15:55

It's whatever you want to be. It's who you fancy, no one else. I personally like older. Always have.

AnnaSW1 · 29/05/2021 15:58

30-40

someonesomewhere1 · 29/05/2021 16:02

30-45

Maria53 · 29/05/2021 16:05

@Opaljewel

It's whatever you want to be. It's who you fancy, no one else. I personally like older. Always have.
I think once you're about 30, if you want children etc, you have to think about it more strategically.

The last two men I've fancied, one is 25 and lovely guy but total commitment phone and the second is 27. We were meant to go on a date just before lockdown, haven't seen him since!

Considering the replies and my own thoughts I am leaning towards 27/28 u to about 38. 45 just feels too old for me right now. Obviously if I met someone who was that age that I felt strongly about I would reconsider.

OP posts:
alanrickmanspetcat · 29/05/2021 16:06

I'm 30 and my husband is 46 🤷🏽‍♀️

Maria53 · 29/05/2021 16:06

A commitment phobe*, not a phone Smile

OP posts:
Maria53 · 29/05/2021 16:06

How did you meet @alanrickmanspetcat if you don't mind me asking?

OP posts:
JanuaryJonez · 29/05/2021 17:22

Well I found the reverse has worked for me. I was 30 and in a two year relationship with a bit of a commitment phobe the same age.

I then fell in love with a 22 year old who was strangely very ready to settle down. That was 25 years ago and we now have two teenage children and he runs a successful business.

He's probably the least flaky man I've ever met.

Quornflakegirl · 29/05/2021 17:25

For me it would be 28-38

SwordofGryffindor · 01/06/2021 03:05

Im 29 in July

Its set to 28 to 38

YellowMonday · 01/06/2021 04:14

I'm 34 - my last serious relationship was 30 to 32 and my partner was 24 when we met. Never expected to date young, I've always dated older, normally 5 to 10 years older.

It was honestly one of the best relationships of my life. He was so fun and young and not baggage. It was such an easy relationship, to be honest I rediscovered how to have fun with him. And not worry about career and mortgage and retirement planning etc.

Big challenge though with friendship groups being at different stages. Only ended as I accepted a job in Singapore and realised while I loved him I wasn't "in love" with him.

JustGiveMeGin · 01/06/2021 09:32

@Maria53 my husband is 16 years older than me, up to the last few years everything was okay but my god it has caught up with us now.
He has health issues so this weekend has mainly been me taking the kids out to make sure they enjoy the bank holiday while he potters around at home.
We started dating when I was 20 and he was 36, I am 37 now and if we were to split up I would not date someone that much younger for their sake. Aging happens to us all and slowing down is natural, I wish I had thought about it more when I was 20 but at 36 my DH was in his prime so I probably wasn't using my brain as much as I should have been Wink
To answer your question, my range for online dating would be 29-38.

lottiegarbanzo · 01/06/2021 10:27

My instinctive response is 26-36.

I might possibly say 26-39 but a ten year age gap is not small and, as you get older, might hold you back and tie you down. You don't want to be dealing with middle-aged lethargy and grumpiness while you're in the energetic prime of your 30s. You certainly don't want to be nursing an old man when you're just retired and are ready for travel, leisure and adventure.

I kind of think that good men get snapped up early and, while there will be exceptions, the field narrows to a shocking paucity by their 40s. (Good people break up but the men particularly, usually re-form relationships fast. Usually with someone they already knew).

Yet, most young men are immature. It's a conundrum. I think that either you catch one young, when you are too and grow up together. Or, there's a golden moment, when the decent ones go from young and carefree, to grown-up and open to serious relationships.

I've seen that happen in the blink of an eye, literally 'right, I've sown my wild oats / travelled the world / enjoyed establishing my career with no ties, now I'm ready for the serious relationship'. At that point they either settle down with the next girlfriend who comes along (right time, good enough person), or, having played the field, they know exactly how to narrow their search to go after Miss Right.

When I've seen that happen, it was at age 30-36. Turning 30 is often a trigger.

ZoeMaye · 01/06/2021 10:28

At 30 probably 28-38

SkedaddIe · 01/06/2021 14:45

I think I would've accepted 10 years either side. But if they're younger I wouldn't have been able to be with a uni student, at 30 I was too sensible and boring, they'd need to be at the same life stage as me so we could moan about mortgages and Tories.

Whyhello · 01/06/2021 14:52

Definitely nobody under 25, probably 28-40.

I used to date men either my age or 1-5 years older than me. Currently 28 and DH is the same age. Never liked younger men, far too immature plus I teach young adults and there’s absolutely nothing appealing about them!

MsFogi · 01/06/2021 14:57

27-33 (I take the first digit of the number, so in your case 3 and go that amount above/below your age (so 19 yo - date from 18-20yo, 22 yo date from 20-24 yo, 60 yo - 54-66 etc - very scientific!)