Abusive husband

[Stupidandold]

Apologies in advance for my rambling. My husband of 20 years has been abusing me again.
He blames me for everything that happens. It’s always my fault. This time I said he didn’t need a new tv just so he can play Xbox in better quality.
He called me a c**t, choked me and repeatedly slapped me.
I am so sick of it

Dear OP, you absolutely need to leave this sorry excuse of a man. No woman deserves to be physically or mentally abused. Ever.
You have everything going for you. EVERYTHING. A good job, house rented in your name, you pay all the bill's, your children have left home. You don't see all these positives as you have been conditioned by a master abuser. This is NOT your fault. This unfortunately happens the world over. Living in the UK you CAN change this and make the rest of your life fear free and happy.
Please, please find that lioness hidden inside (she is there but buried under years of abuse) and cast him aside.
I have never in all time time on MN wanted to hear a happy ending more than now.
Sending strength and positivity OP. X

Please call the police, he put his hands on your throat, they MUST take action and come to your house. From there they can help you. If you can’t do that, as others mentioned you can go into Boots and ask for Ani, they will take you to a private room and I believe they can contact the police for you. Alternatively you could speak to your GP or even your boss if you have a supportive workplace. All of these people are there to help you, they WANT to help you.

My mother was useless and didn't protect me from a man. We didn't speak for years and I was miserable the whole time. She left him in the end and we have rebuilt a relationship and she isn't a wonderful grandmother. I would still be sad and hate her if she had stayed. It sounds like your children love you and want you to be in their lives. If you couldn't be a great mum then be a great mum now and leave the bastard behind.

Sorry that should say she is a wonderful grandmother!

Please seek some help your worth more than that, don't let him control your fate that's the ultimate control DONT let him win, your kids and grandkids deserve to have you in their lives it might take time but you can rebuild your life I seen it happen to someone close to be who was with their abuser for over 30years she left 6years ago and has never been happier. YOU GOT THIS!

MarkRuffaloCrumble
You do. We’re the best kind of friends - always here 24/7, give you straight talking (sometimes harsh!) advice that may not be what you want to hear, but it’s what you need, and we care deeply that women like you are safe from abuse. MN may be a nest of vipers, but it’s your nest, and we’re all here with you to help you get safe. Just listen to all the advice and support you get on here, take it one day at a time and then in the future YOU can be the one giving advice to young women in your shoes and telling them to get out sooner rather than later, and about your amazing new life of freedom and joy without that twat burdening you.

^THIS^
I couldn't have said it any better!! We are all here for you OP. We'll be your shoulder to cry/vent to, your strength when you feel weak/falter... keep posting. Keep strong!

You see so many women who are trapped in abusive marriages because they have no job and no money, with children at home and they have nowhere to go. But I think it’s almost worse to see your situation - where you have a good job, the means to support yourself, no dependent children living at home. There is literally nothing stopping you from walking out today and living a life free from abuse except that you are so conditioned to live with abuse you won’t do it.

It shows how utterly broken down and traumatised you are. I’m so sorry.

Could you once again have therapy, with a view towards working up to leaving your abuser? You have everything you need to leave already except the will to do so. Therapy may be the thing that allows you to finally take that step.

I hope you've managed to get to Boots today

@Stupidandold

I just want to say thank you to you all. I’ve been alone for so long. I wish I had friends like you all.

Hi OP, how are you doing today?

Thinking about you

Aww so sorry you're living like this OP. Please get away from this vile disgusting speciman. You have children and a grandson that love and need you. You are worth more than this lazy slob not working and being abusive to you.

How are you op?

Oh my love you are worth so much more. Please let us know how you are. Xxxxx

@Stupidandold

Thank you, all of you. I know logically that I should leave. I’m just too conditioned to take the beatings and get on with things

Hi OP, just to say I'm thinking of you and hope you're OK.

Thinking of you OP. You aren't alone. Please talk to us when you feel strong enough to.

We’re all here for you OP. How are things this weekend?