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Original poster

He's finally moved out, but taken the dog

121 replies

katmunchkin · 22/05/2021 12:10

So I've posted before years ago under a different username how I wanted to end it with my OH of 11 years, but the only thing stopping me was the fact we have a dog together who is my world. Well I finally but the bullet and he's moving back to his parents today. I've just got home from having my first jab and he's packed up a load of stuff (which I'm not going to argue with), but he's also moved everything off the dogs crate, implying he's taking this with him, implying he's expecting to take her with him! His parents only live 5 minutes away and I know they would happily have the dog staying with them, but there's no way on his planet I'm prepared to let him take her full time, we need to sort something out, but I'm so scared that he's going to railroad me and try to control me and not bring her back 😥😥 She's registered with the Kennel Club, microchip and vets all in my name, but he used his money to pay for her 3 years ago. I'm devastated 😢🥺😢🥺

OP posts:
saraclara · 23/05/2021 00:29

@category12

Access arrangements for the dog would be ridiculous. It's just not at all sensible to keep that tie between them - it's a dog, not a child.

Trying to share custody of a dog is just going to be long-drawn out drama and pain, better to go through the short-term pain now, move on and get another dog.

It's really not. I know two people who have shared custody of their dogs. It's amicable, fits around each of their commitments and the dogs are happy. Also easy if either goes on holiday. Relies on the amicable bit though
PinkSatinMoon · 23/05/2021 03:08

Genuine question ?

What is the purpose of 'Micro-chipping' a Dog/Cat if it does not establish ownership ?

subbysammiexoxo · 23/05/2021 03:25

He paid for her the dog is his. Best case scenario is you can split custody of the dog.

1forAll74 · 23/05/2021 04:02

I hope you can really get your dog back, I know it's not the same as children having to go to different places when partners spilt up, but dogs need to know where they are settled in their regular homes, and not here, there and everywhere.

GelfBride · 23/05/2021 04:49

I would decide where the dog is best off to be honest. If you decide you want her and the microchip s in your name that would help. I know it doesn't prove ownership but it proves to a large degree keepership and that is more that he has.
If he bought her for you as a present, and the fact that she is microchipped to you establishes that to a degree also, and even if he didn't I would argue that he did, i think on balance you are more likely to be seen as the dogs owner. The registration at the loval vet in your name also establishes a strong link.

If he takes her and digs in, I would get her back by sneaky means and then never let her out of my sight. He would have to fight me for ownership. Merely paying for the dog when you were in a committed relationship, given all the other factors, does not mean his ownership by any means.
I would rely on the fact that he would be unlikely to take me to court but if he did, I would swear up and down she was a gift and given everything else, I would expect to win.

If you think she would genuinely be better off at his with his parents though, let her go and get yourself another pooch.

It's all very well knowing the law but sometimes you have to think what would happen in the real world. Would he take you to court? Doubtful.

GelfBride · 23/05/2021 05:00

@PinkSatinMoon

Genuine question ?

What is the purpose of 'Micro-chipping' a Dog/Cat if it does not establish ownership ?

It doesn't establish ownership but it's better than nothing in this respect. It helpes the dog be returned to the owner if it gets lost or stolen and that is the real benefit.

Advice to dog and cat owners is to take a tonne of photo's of your dog in your house and garden. If there is ever any doubt about ownership, having these establishes it to a massive degree in law.

Do you have the vaccination certificates for the doggo in your name OP? The person making the effort to get her vaccinated and if the payment for same is in your name also that will help establish ownership. The law works with an 'on balance of liklihood' basis if you are really going to go down that route. I would. I would be down that route like a shot! My ex left and tried to take his dog and I wouldn't let him! I locked the dog in my car and said 'fucking try me!' The dog was on heart pills and had just had £2,000 of surgery. He wouldn't have looked after him and me keeping the dog even though he owned him in law was the hill I was prepared to die on. If he had threatened me with court I would have had to hand him over but I knew he wouldn't. He lived with the rest of my dogs here until he was 14 and I had him PTS with heart failure. I wrote to my ex to tell him. He could not have been less interested. He had replaced him with another dog almost immediately. Bit like how he replaced me.

FlamingHot · 23/05/2021 05:11

I’m sorry OP. Has he taken the dog to spite you or because he loves her? If he loves her then you may just have to accept what has happened. If it’s to spite you then you could kick up more of a stink. I guess in some ways you expecting to just keep the dog is just as unreasonable. I’m so sorry though, I’d be bereft without my pets.

Sunflower1970 · 23/05/2021 05:40

I feel for you. Hope you can work on an agreement. Perhaps,speak to his parents. My cat is sat here and I would be bereft if he was taken from me

Saltyslug · 23/05/2021 06:00

Pop to the parents and collect the dog, explain that ex just took it without discussion or agreement and he’s your pet. You work from home and he always sits with you

RantyAnty · 23/05/2021 06:28

Just go get the dog back.

DinosaurDiana · 23/05/2021 06:39

Have you got the dog back ?
If you need legal advice for this situation ring Trevor Cooper - Dog Law. He specialises in this area.

crumpet · 23/05/2021 06:49

That is interesting about the law. Does that mean that anyone who buys a pet as a gift for another person remains the owner regardless?

PinkSatinMoon · 23/05/2021 12:08

@crumpet

That is interesting about the law. Does that mean that anyone who buys a pet as a gift for another person remains the owner regardless?

I agree... its very a blurred area

Hont1986 · 23/05/2021 13:03

Does that mean that anyone who buys a pet as a gift for another person remains the owner regardless?

No, it would be treated like any other gift of property, the ownership transfers to the person receiving the gift.

StamfordHill · 23/05/2021 13:39

This reply has been deleted

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CandyLeBonBon · 23/05/2021 13:58

@Hont1986

Does that mean that anyone who buys a pet as a gift for another person remains the owner regardless?

No, it would be treated like any other gift of property, the ownership transfers to the person receiving the gift.

Yes. Pets are considered chattels in the eyes of the law.
interest12 · 23/05/2021 14:05

@StamfordHill

Just get a new dog. That's the beauty of pets - you can always get another. And fairly easily too.
Vile
Umberellatheweatha · 23/05/2021 14:13

I'd reverse psychology him.

'I'm going to miss her so much but I really want to travel the next few years, hit the beaches get some sun, get in shape. A dog really would be trying in all fairness. And she loves your parents so I know she'll be looked after'.

Basically make out that you're going to be getting hot and bettering yourself and maybe shagging about and a dog would get in the way of that. He might then change his tune about taking her.

Umberellatheweatha · 23/05/2021 14:13

*tying not trying

Cherrysoup · 23/05/2021 14:20

Police and be persistent. Dogs are seen as possessions (chattels) so can be stolen. Don’t put up with this, it’s ridiculous if he’s out all day.

CandyLeBonBon · 23/05/2021 15:49

@Cherrysoup

Police and be persistent. Dogs are seen as possessions (chattels) so can be stolen. Don’t put up with this, it’s ridiculous if he’s out all day.
It's not a police matter. They will not help.
youvegottenminuteslynn · 23/05/2021 15:56

Yeah the police won't get involved in this. If you really want to fight for ownership, it might be worth having a Google when you have time as it seems like there are even specialists in this field...

doglaw.co.uk/civil/ownership-custody-disputes/

PinkSatinMoon · 23/05/2021 15:58

How are you OP ... I hope you're feeling okay today.. its so upsetting 🌸

Hellcatspangle · 23/05/2021 16:01

Basically make out that you're going to be getting hot and bettering yourself and maybe shagging about and a dog would get in the way of that. He might then change his tune about taking her.

Excellent approach!

Branleuse · 23/05/2021 16:07

do you think hes done this out of spite. Does he not look after the dog or love the dog as much as you do?

Ultimately, someones got to get the dog and the other is usually sad about it. Is there good reason it should be you rather than him?

If he doesnt usually look after the dog as much, then i wouldnt be surprised if you end up with it again anyway

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