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Original poster

He's finally moved out, but taken the dog

121 replies

katmunchkin · 22/05/2021 12:10

So I've posted before years ago under a different username how I wanted to end it with my OH of 11 years, but the only thing stopping me was the fact we have a dog together who is my world. Well I finally but the bullet and he's moving back to his parents today. I've just got home from having my first jab and he's packed up a load of stuff (which I'm not going to argue with), but he's also moved everything off the dogs crate, implying he's taking this with him, implying he's expecting to take her with him! His parents only live 5 minutes away and I know they would happily have the dog staying with them, but there's no way on his planet I'm prepared to let him take her full time, we need to sort something out, but I'm so scared that he's going to railroad me and try to control me and not bring her back 😥😥 She's registered with the Kennel Club, microchip and vets all in my name, but he used his money to pay for her 3 years ago. I'm devastated 😢🥺😢🥺

OP posts:
Carbara · 22/05/2021 15:04

There won’t be a solicitor to do the divorce, he’s just a boyfriend. Well. Ex boyfriend. Doesn’t sound like OP or the boyfriend either have a leg to stand on, they could just fight each other back and forth for years, sadly.

HollowTalk · 22/05/2021 15:27

But isn't the registration just showing who is the owner?

Streetknowledge · 22/05/2021 15:30

Owners keeper. If he paid for it technically it's his. Unless you paid for it 50/50.

waitingforthenextseason · 22/05/2021 15:34

Tell him the dog is registered in your name and you will be contacting the police if he's not returned immediately. Dog theft. They should get involved.

tentosix · 22/05/2021 15:48

If you are married, dog is joint property and should be shared between you. If you cohabited then whoever bought her, and paid for her from their own money is the owner. A dog is just classed as property, although a judge may take the view you should have joint custody.

category12 · 22/05/2021 15:50

Get another dog.

I know it's shit and upsetting, but he loves her as well and will look after her. At least it'll cut the ties between you and you can both move on.

And while another dog won't be that dog, it will yours alone, and you will love it just as much. There are rescue dogs that need homes.

JudesBiggestFan · 22/05/2021 17:00

Call his bluff. Tell him that's fine, it'll be easier for you to move on without the tie of the dog and thanks for taking on the extra work. If he's doing it to spite you, he may change his tune! And if not, you need to just let it go anyway...you can't let a dog hold you back from moving on with your life, no matter how well loved.
And no, it isn't like taking a child from its mother. I bloody love my pets but it really does bear no relationship to how I feel for my children!

feelingsadtoday2021 · 22/05/2021 17:27

It's really not a police matter, I can't believe people are suggesting it is

Theunamedcat · 22/05/2021 17:31

Ring the parents tell them he has taken the dog and needs to let you know if he is keeping it as its in your name as it stands now if she gets lost and scanned they will return her to you

Theunamedcat · 22/05/2021 17:31

Is the house in your name or joint? If its yours you can change the locks

Wannabangbang · 22/05/2021 17:32

Can you not share custody of the dog? It's not ideal but it would be nice if you could both see her. Kind of like when people have a child

drpet49 · 22/05/2021 17:35

@waitingforthenextseason

Get real. The police won’t be interested in a civil matter. The dog is as much his and it is the OPs.

Authenticcelestialmusic · 22/05/2021 17:51

I would do what mustfly suggests. Say you will have more weekends away, nights out, holidays because you won’t have any commitments. You may find he wants to scupper your freedom!

SnarkyBag · 22/05/2021 17:52

I wouldn’t let him take any of the dogs stuff for now and I’d let the dust settle before trying to get the dog back. If he’s doing it out of spite he’s just going to enjoy watching you beg for the dog back and dig his heels in more. Give it a week and the visit his parents whilst at work and have a calm conversation with them. If no joy look at raising a civil case.

Right now having him leave and making sure the relationship is over is the most important thing. Don’t get drawn into his games

youvegottenminuteslynn · 22/05/2021 18:03

@waitingforthenextseason

Tell him the dog is registered in your name and you will be contacting the police if he's not returned immediately. Dog theft. They should get involved.
This simply isn't true I'm afraid, not at all.
Starlightstarbright1 · 22/05/2021 18:09

Op.. Do you have a child.. if you are the poster i think be very greatful he has gone.

You can feel upset but it will be another form.of control.

I may have the wrong poster so none of my advice may fit.

pilates · 22/05/2021 18:23

Can you not contact him and ask if there is any chance you could meet to discuss access arrangements for the dog? Calling the police is ridiculous. I’m not clear did he take the dog while you were out or while you were there?

category12 · 22/05/2021 18:51

Access arrangements for the dog would be ridiculous. It's just not at all sensible to keep that tie between them - it's a dog, not a child.

Trying to share custody of a dog is just going to be long-drawn out drama and pain, better to go through the short-term pain now, move on and get another dog.

CandyLeBonBon · 22/05/2021 18:52

@katmunchkin

So I've posted before years ago under a different username how I wanted to end it with my OH of 11 years, but the only thing stopping me was the fact we have a dog together who is my world. Well I finally but the bullet and he's moving back to his parents today. I've just got home from having my first jab and he's packed up a load of stuff (which I'm not going to argue with), but he's also moved everything off the dogs crate, implying he's taking this with him, implying he's expecting to take her with him! His parents only live 5 minutes away and I know they would happily have the dog staying with them, but there's no way on his planet I'm prepared to let him take her full time, we need to sort something out, but I'm so scared that he's going to railroad me and try to control me and not bring her back 😥😥 She's registered with the Kennel Club, microchip and vets all in my name, but he used his money to pay for her 3 years ago. I'm devastated 😢🥺😢🥺
I'm so sorry op. My ex did this except I got home and he'd taken the dog. No discussion, nothing. My kids were devastated.

Sadly there's very little you ca realistically do unless you take him to court x

Aprilwasverywet · 22/05/2021 18:53

Tell him you have a new dpuppy lined up and smile. He may leave the ddog if he thinks he is spoiling your plans!

bigbaggyeyes · 22/05/2021 19:00

does he want the dog or is he just doing it to control or be a wanker?

LaurieFairyCake · 22/05/2021 19:18

I'd go round tonight. Hide out in the garden and wait for the dogs last wee.

Steal dog. Go home.

LaurieFairyCake · 22/05/2021 19:19

And I'd never let the dog out my sight again.

You'd have to walk over my cold corpse to take my dogs Hmm

VioletCharlotte · 22/05/2021 20:10

I know people who have had contact arrangements for their dog in place. I don't think people who's don't have a dog can understand how much they're part of your family. Do you think you'd be able to reach an agreement with your ex OP that would mean you could share him?

Thelnebriati · 23/05/2021 00:20

I know its hard but the next thing I would do is insist in writing that he changes the microchip details over to his name and new address asap.