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Original poster

Wear a pretty dress [hmm]

97 replies

ilikedressesbut · 21/05/2021 16:53

Chatting a bit to a guy on OLD. We were talking about meeting up in a couple of weeks when we are both free. I have told him I like wearing dresses when I go out. He said about out date, ' Wear a pretty dress' then that wink face emoji.

Must admit it made me feel a bit queasy. I don't like being told what to wear, though maybe he was being lighthearted.

After previous relationships, I find it really hard to know when something really is off or if I am over-reacting. He's also twice compared me to old girlfriends ( I look a bit like one and sound a bit like another apparently). Which I also don' t like.

Am I reasonable to start feeling a bit weird?

OP posts:
Nonmaquillee · 21/05/2021 16:54

I wouldn’t like it at all

minipie · 21/05/2021 16:57

I think since you’ve specifically said you like wearing dresses when you go out, it’s probably ok and he’s referring back to something you’ve said.

If you hadn’t said that, it would be creepy.

Baluchistan95 · 21/05/2021 16:58

You said that you like to wear dresses. He said, wear a pretty dress. Stop playing silly games.

Original poster
ilikedressesbut · 21/05/2021 16:59

@Baluchistan95

You said that you like to wear dresses. He said, wear a pretty dress. Stop playing silly games.
Thanks for understanding Flowers
OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 21/05/2021 17:00

You told him (somewhat unnecessarily!) that you like to wear dresses when going out.
Ffs! 😂

TokyoSushi · 21/05/2021 17:01

I wouldn't be keen either, but as he's seemingly trying to tie it back to something that you've mentioned I'd let it go and see how you get on.

JassyRadlett · 21/05/2021 17:02

If it was out of the blue I'd find it offputting but you specifically talked about liking to wear dresses - you brought up your clothing first.

BananaBoatFeet · 21/05/2021 17:03

Op, you really are being ridiculous 🙄

Original poster
ilikedressesbut · 21/05/2021 17:04

@GreyhoundG1rl

You told him (somewhat unnecessarily!) that you like to wear dresses when going out. Ffs! 😂
Not really. It was in the context of telling him that I was excited as a friend had asked me for a drink in the pub - first in ages cos of lockdown - and I was excited and going to wear a dress as I like wearing dresses when I go out. So just chatting.
OP posts:
motogogo · 21/05/2021 17:08

Do you know where you are going? Perhaps it's a hint it's somewhere where a pretty dress is appropriate. You told him you liked them. I wouldn't read anything into this.

Mermaidwaves · 21/05/2021 17:09

I'm with you OP, when I was OLD I would find men would request stuff like this, one wanted me to wear high heels, another didn't want me to wear black and another sent me pics of dresses he thought I would look nice in! I didn't meet any of these guys in the end because they all got stranger as we chatted.
I would say if he mentions this again then leave it.

Looksabitbig · 21/05/2021 17:09

I think if you feel weird it doesn't really matter what it was that made you feel that way.
If you do meet him, you could always wear jeans just to make your point Smile

Original poster
ilikedressesbut · 21/05/2021 17:09

@motogogo

Do you know where you are going? Perhaps it's a hint it's somewhere where a pretty dress is appropriate. You told him you liked them. I wouldn't read anything into this.
We are just meeting for a coffee in the day. So not a dress up date really.
OP posts:
Cowbells · 21/05/2021 17:10

Stupid man. I once had a man ask me again and again to wear the shortest skirt I had for our date, so I assured him I would and then turned up in a maxi skirt.

starfishmummy · 21/05/2021 17:12

@Baluchistan95

You said that you like to wear dresses. He said, wear a pretty dress. Stop playing silly games.
This.
HoldontoOneMoreDay · 21/05/2021 17:12

While this would set off a red flag if I was meeting him, if you're meeting a friend and have said you like dresses, I think wear a pretty dress is the same as saying 'fill your boots, go ahead and wear a dress.' It wouldn't bother me at all.

GreyhoundG1rl · 21/05/2021 17:14

@Cowbells

Stupid man. I once had a man ask me again and again to wear the shortest skirt I had for our date, so I assured him I would and then turned up in a maxi skirt.
Yes. That is exactly the same thing. 😂
Original poster
ilikedressesbut · 21/05/2021 17:15

I dunno. If I was chatting to a guy who mentioned he liked suits I wouldn't tell him to wear a suit to our date. Especially not our coffee shop date.

I wouldn't tell anyone I had not met what to wear.

It's the sort of thing you would say in a proper relationship with someone you knew.

OP posts:
Original poster
ilikedressesbut · 21/05/2021 17:20

I think wear a pretty dress is the same as saying 'fill your boots, go ahead and wear a dress.' It wouldn't bother me at all

Maybe that is what he meant.

I have real issues around being controlled and only existing to meet someone else's wants, from a previous relationship, so this stuff is hard for me to navigate.

OP posts:
Wearywithteens · 21/05/2021 17:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

toocold54 · 21/05/2021 17:24

I think since you’ve specifically said you like wearing dresses when you go out, it’s probably ok and he’s referring back to something you’ve said.

If you hadn’t said that, it would be creepy.

I agree.
I think he was probably showing that he’d been listening to you as you said you like wearing them so it wouldn’t put me off.
If you hadn’t mentioned dresses and he said it then I’d definitely be grossed out.

I’d try and put this out of my head and meet him and see how you feel. We all say stupid stuff sometimes lol.

Tanfastic · 21/05/2021 17:24

I wouldn't find this weird, I think you are overthinking it. If he'd said it without you mentioning you like to wear dresses than yeah maybe a bit creepy but you said you liked to wear dresses, he probably likes dresses too so said wear a pretty dress (knowing you like to wear dresses 😂).

Onelifeonly · 21/05/2021 17:34

Not sure, it's not necessarily a red flag but could be. I don't like the comparisons to previous gfs either because it lessens you somehow (even if favourable, why mention it?). But I don't think there's enough there to suggest you don't meet him. Maybe he's not good at knowing what to say to someone new. Might be better and more relaxed in person.

Flowers500 · 21/05/2021 17:44

You are massively overthinking it. Sounds like he literally just responded in a normal human way to your message

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 21/05/2021 17:44

I would be a lot more put off by the comparison to exes.

But look, if you're not feeling it, you don't need mumsnet's permission to call off the date. I am a big believer in gut instinct and I have cancelled many a date because I've felt unquantifiable bad vibes. My rationale is that if I've got bad vibes then I'm going to be on edge during the date and neither of us will enjoy it. So best to cancel and let both of us find someone more compatible.