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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What does this mean

86 replies

lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 09:32

Had an argument on sat night, well I say argument I can't remember arguing. Had a drink.
I went to bed. Now the boyfriend is funny with me, In fact being pretty off.
Apologised. Texting but edgy, him not me!
Just text and asked if he wanted me to stay Saturday.
His reply "just a bit busy with work, I will text you when I can?"
Now I asked him prior if he wanted to see me again and he said yes.
Is this the brush off?
I haven't actually ate since Saturday

OP posts:
Palavah · 19/05/2021 09:35

Did you post about this before - his brother waa staying?

Please eat something.

Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 09:36

No not posted.

But feeling pretty shitty

OP posts:
Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 09:54

Sorry to post, I just don't really know myself anymore.

OP posts:
Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 09:55

I mean I asked if he wanted to see me again and he said yes, so asked if sat was any good and I got that.

OP posts:
mamaoffourdc · 19/05/2021 10:01

Did you wee on his bed?

Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 10:01

Hahahaa nooo

OP posts:
BookiesBicycle · 19/05/2021 10:03

Please eat something, and if you don’t fancy solids, try a milkshake or soup or smoothie, anything. You’ll feel dreadful both physically and mentally if you starve yourself. No man and no situation is worth this.

How do you usually deal with upsets?

GoddessKali · 19/05/2021 10:05

Honestly that kind of dismissive response would make me go, right fuck you!
I’d take the high horse, book in some amazing things, catch ups, go see friends, be busy.
Do not get in touch.
Let him come to you if he wants to.
But if he doesn’t then you’ll be busy having fun socialising and realise there’s millions of other nice men to choose from not some idiot who won’t even discuss emotional matters with you and instead wants to play the sulking beg me game.

Ugzbugz · 19/05/2021 10:07

Do you really wanna be with someone long term who makes you you feel this shit after a drunken tiff?

Hes playing kind games, sulking like a twat. Dump him and go and eat something.

Bananalanacake · 19/05/2021 10:12

It's good you don't live together. He is not worth you.

Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 10:25

Nah we don't live together.

It's just that sense of doom isn't it? Bloody awful

OP posts:
Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 10:27

Actually working from home today so it's worse, as I think more

OP posts:
IronNeonClasp · 19/05/2021 10:36

If you don't know what you said why would you expect him to be forgiving?

Are you an aggressive blackout drunk?

ComtesseDeSpair · 19/05/2021 10:37

A relationship is meant to make your life better. If being in one makes you worry you’ve said or done the wrong thing, then you’re in the wrong relationship. I have a really low tolerance level for a lot of stuff; but perhaps my lowest tolerance is for moodiness and silent treatment. Do you really want to continue seeing somebody who thinks it’s more appropriate to behave this way than to communicate like an adult?

Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 10:38

No not at all. I think I am a nice person

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 19/05/2021 10:41

@IronNeonClasp

If you don't know what you said why would you expect him to be forgiving?

Are you an aggressive blackout drunk?

But even if this was the case, the adult way for him to deal with it would be to say, when OP apologised and asked him if he wanted to see her again, “you really upset me when you said / did X the other night. I just need a bit of time to myself.” Not make someone try to second guess what’s wrong.
Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 10:44

Now that's what I thought! I could deal with that quite happily, but it's like I'm being kept on a thread.
Do you want to see me again "yes" are you sure "yes"
Do you want to do something sat? "Just busy at work, will text you when I can"
Unless he his busy , he's not the best texter!
Oh fuck knows I'm sick of myself now

OP posts:
ItWasntMyFault · 19/05/2021 10:56

@GoddessKali

Honestly that kind of dismissive response would make me go, right fuck you! I’d take the high horse, book in some amazing things, catch ups, go see friends, be busy. Do not get in touch. Let him come to you if he wants to. But if he doesn’t then you’ll be busy having fun socialising and realise there’s millions of other nice men to choose from not some idiot who won’t even discuss emotional matters with you and instead wants to play the sulking beg me game.
Absolutely this.

It sounds like he is trying to punish you - don't encourage his little games. Make alternative plans.

Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 11:01

Yeah I thought exactly the same! But I don't know what for.
It's a massive mind game

OP posts:
Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 11:11

I'm going out pay day! Shite With it

OP posts:
premium77 · 19/05/2021 11:55

But OTT to not eat because someone is being off with you

Original poster
lostsoul1989 · 19/05/2021 11:56

I know. That's just me tho. Still sleeping well tho 🤣😂

OP posts:
premium77 · 19/05/2021 12:02

You may be used to it but to be frank it really isn’t normal or healthy. Life isn’t fairies and roses so you need to find a better coping mechanism.

Maybe try journaling or listening to a podcast or audio, I find that helps.

premium77 · 19/05/2021 12:03

*audiobooks

ravenmum · 19/05/2021 12:12

I feel down if I even just miss a meal; I start seeing everything negatively. Of course you feel miserable if you haven't eaten for days.

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