Page 5 | Would this bother you

Lookafteryourself · 2021-05-17T11:54:33+00:00

It was my birthday the other week, my partner treated me to some expensive ear rings diamond cut as I was trying them on I said their lovely, he replied yeah they should be for the fucking price of them, I felt a bit like that wasn’t necessary to say that as if he was having a go at me because he bought them, also that same week we were lying in bed in the morning and I casually said to him shall I get something nice for dinner tonight he was moody and replied no I’m staying at home tonight for dinner, I didn’t have a problem with that but we hadn’t discussed it and the fact he was moody made it worse, we hadn’t rowed infact that same morning he woke up and we had sex then fell back to sleep, not sure why he’s behaving like this.

Original poster

Lookafteryourself · 18/05/2021 22:59

I know I need to leave him and it’s going to be difficult but I can’t carry on like this.

OP posts:

billy1966 · 18/05/2021 23:06

OP,
He sounds very rough, moody and twatish.

You can do better, it wouldn't be hard.

His language was very rough in the jeweller's.

I bet it spoiled the moment.

Move on.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 18/05/2021 23:09

@Lookafteryourself

I know I need to leave him and it’s going to be difficult but I can’t carry on like this.

It's not difficult at all. No shared finances, you don't live together, no children, you don't even spend that much time together.

As for the years, it's the sunken costs fallacy. Read up on it. You're so afraid of "wasting" 2 years that you might end up wasting 3..4...5...10. The more you wait,the more you waste. And a relationship that you aren't happy in and your needs aren't met are indeed a waste. You've already wasted thise 2 years of your life regardless if you stay or not.

littlebite · 18/05/2021 23:58

Just dump his miserable arse.
Plenty of better guys out there.

Lovelydiscusfish · 19/05/2021 07:40

@Lookafteryourself

I remember a time when we had arranged to get a takeaway pizza, I called him up and said can we have it at mine, he asked why I said because your dog doesn’t behave itself when we eat it has a tendency to stare while your eating it’s off putting and he will come and sniff your plate I keep having to move it. Anyway he got annoyed and said we’ll just leave it then I said we don’t have to we’ll just eat at mine he was having none of it we argued he said he was staying at home and having pizza on his own, I think things have just been building up for a while and it’s all got on top of me. Was I in the wrong about his dog?

I mean, this would annoy me too if the person I was seeing wouldn’t come and eat at my house because of my pet’s behaviour.

But the point is, it DOESN’T matter who is right or wrong. In fact there IS NO objective right or wrong. It’s not working for either of you, from the sounds of it. So you need to move on, tough as that can be....:

Original poster

Lookafteryourself · 19/05/2021 08:36

I disagree if I had a pet and someone was coming to my house to eat t I would make sure the animal was under control.

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pinkyredrose · 19/05/2021 08:50

he can be nice when he wants to be

Life's too short for this shit. Why are you fixated on meeting 'the one'? Why not carve out a lovely life for yourself and if a great guy comes along to share it with then that's a bonus.

A relationship isn't the be all and end all. I blame fairy tales personally, they make it seem like a your life is only complete when your Prince Charming turns up and whisks you away to live happily ever after.

Original poster

Lookafteryourself · 19/05/2021 09:02

@pinkyredrose

he can be nice when he wants to be

Life's too short for this shit. Why are you fixated on meeting 'the one'? Why not carve out a lovely life for yourself and if a great guy comes along to share it with then that's a bonus.

A relationship isn't the be all and end all. I blame fairy tales personally, they make it seem like a your life is only complete when your Prince Charming turns up and whisks you away to live happily ever after.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately I would be better off single.

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scoobydoo1971 · 19/05/2021 09:13

I nearly bumped into an ex-boyfriend this week. I saw him before he saw me so diverted. It prompted me to reflect on why I dumped 'the one' everyone thought I would marry. Everyone thought he was a clever, funny, kind man who loved me. Behind the scenes, he was a passive-aggressive tool who had cocklodger aspirations, told me he wanted paying as a carer when I was ill, reminded me of every penny he spent on me (not much!) and didn't buy me anything for my birthday in case it upset me as I was getting 'older'. I dumped him...upsetting at the time...but a big relief too as he was a mental drain. I did the right thing. I stayed single for two years. I then met the love of my life by accident. He is reliable, really kind, supportive of my health issues and adores me. Leave any man who makes you feel bad, as you never know what is coming next for your life. Being single is not a bad thing.

Original poster

Lookafteryourself · 19/05/2021 09:25

@scoobydoo1971

I nearly bumped into an ex-boyfriend this week. I saw him before he saw me so diverted. It prompted me to reflect on why I dumped 'the one' everyone thought I would marry. Everyone thought he was a clever, funny, kind man who loved me. Behind the scenes, he was a passive-aggressive tool who had cocklodger aspirations, told me he wanted paying as a carer when I was ill, reminded me of every penny he spent on me (not much!) and didn't buy me anything for my birthday in case it upset me as I was getting 'older'. I dumped him...upsetting at the time...but a big relief too as he was a mental drain. I did the right thing. I stayed single for two years. I then met the love of my life by accident. He is reliable, really kind, supportive of my health issues and adores me. Leave any man who makes you feel bad, as you never know what is coming next for your life. Being single is not a bad thing.

He sounds awful, well done for getting away from him. I just think the older I’m getting though the harder it will be to meet someone decent.

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TheresAnEyeInMeSoup · 19/05/2021 11:13

I just think the older I’m getting though the harder it will be to meet someone decent

That's not a reason to stay with someone you don't like. What's worth more to you, being single and happy or settling in a miserable relationship. Just dump him, you don't live with him so it will be a doddle.

Original poster

Lookafteryourself · 19/05/2021 11:31

I think I’m confused in some ways he can be thoughtful, in other ways he’s not, as we don’t live together I always knew it was wrong to see each other, but he never seemed to care he said as he was going to work still it didn’t matter if we saw each other on one hand I get what he’s saying but we don’t wear masks when we see each other.

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Lovelydiscusfish · 19/05/2021 16:23

@Lookafteryourself

I disagree if I had a pet and someone was coming to my house to eat t I would make sure the animal was under control.

But it doesn’t sound like it’s dangerously out of control. He can’t really stop it looking at you unless he blindfolds it or something....

But anyway, you think you were right in this instance, he clearly doesn’t, you’re not going to change him, he’s not going to change you, so you may as well just be apart, and hopefully you will both meet somebody better suited.

Obviously I wouldn’t suggest splitting up if the dog looking at you incident had been the only problem. But the impression I am getting is that you piss each other off in loads of ways, and sure life’s just too short for that.....

Original poster

Lookafteryourself · 19/05/2021 17:53

The dog isn’t trained he does what he likes has complete run of the house, he’s sitting watching because he’s begging for food as he knows my partner will give it to him.

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AccidentallyOnPurpose · 19/05/2021 18:07

You're getting lost in the small details again. The dog is just as irrelevant as the pizza and the earrings and facebook etc. They're not the cause of your misery really. They're just the manifestation of your partner's lack of care,love ,respect etc for you,your wishes,your needs.

Original poster

Lookafteryourself · 19/05/2021 22:17

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

You're getting lost in the small details again. The dog is just as irrelevant as the pizza and the earrings and facebook etc. They're not the cause of your misery really. They're just the manifestation of your partner's lack of care,love ,respect etc for you,your wishes,your needs.

Just wish I had left him last year when he shouted down the phone at me during an argument saying he doesn’t give a flying fuck about COVID

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youvegottenminuteslynn · 19/05/2021 23:39

What's stopping you now?!

Being single is far less self destructive than being with someone you aren't happy with.

Original poster

Lookafteryourself · 20/05/2021 07:22

@youvegottenminuteslynn

What's stopping you now?!

Being single is far less self destructive than being with someone you aren't happy with.

Yes I’m realising that now.

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RandomMess · 20/05/2021 10:15

Honestly he sounds like a F*ck Buddy that is occasionally nice.

It's not a loving and mutually supportive relationship.

Hattie71 · 20/05/2021 10:19

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Original poster

Lookafteryourself · 20/05/2021 10:39

@RandomMess

Honestly he sounds like a F*ck Buddy that is occasionally nice.

It's not a loving and mutually supportive relationship.

I’ve never looked at him in that way that’s not what I want in my life at my age, done all that

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