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Original poster

Would this bother you

121 replies

Lookafteryourself · 17/05/2021 12:54

It was my birthday the other week, my partner treated me to some expensive ear rings diamond cut as I was trying them on I said their lovely, he replied yeah they should be for the fucking price of them, I felt a bit like that wasn’t necessary to say that as if he was having a go at me because he bought them, also that same week we were lying in bed in the morning and I casually said to him shall I get something nice for dinner tonight he was moody and replied no I’m staying at home tonight for dinner, I didn’t have a problem with that but we hadn’t discussed it and the fact he was moody made it worse, we hadn’t rowed infact that same morning he woke up and we had sex then fell back to sleep, not sure why he’s behaving like this.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 17/05/2021 21:18

I’ve been thinking about ending things with him but I wanted other people’s views on things first to make sure it’s him in the wrong and not me.
Firstly, he sounds like an arrogant prick.

Secondly, there doesn't have to be a right or wrong party in a break up for it to be justified.

Not being happy, not feeling valued, not having loads of fun together, not being able to talk about stuff without arguments or sulking... any and all of those would be reason enough for anyone to break up with someone.

Even if you were completely in the wrong and a nightmare and he was a golden knobbed Prince among men, if you aren't really happy it would still be the right thing to end it.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 17/05/2021 21:21

I’ve been thinking about ending things with him but I wanted other people’s views on things first to make sure it’s him in the wrong and not me.

You don't need anyone's permission or confirmation to end things. The fact that you're not happy and not having your needs met is more than enough. Very important lesson to learn.

TheresAnEyeInMeSoup · 17/05/2021 21:28

What @AccidentallyOnPurpose said!

HmmmmmmInteresting · 17/05/2021 21:32

@user1471457751

I was with you at first about the earrings but with your follow up post, I don't see what he did wrong. You criticised his gift (making a comment about how you hope these don't ruin like your earrings from Claires) and compared his gift to a really cheap brand. I think him making a jokey comment about the cost is fine in that context and I wouldn't have blamed him if he was upset with your comment. You were rather rude.
Agree with this
Worriesome · 17/05/2021 21:35

@Lookafteryourself - his response was catered for your remark of “hope they don’t go rusty” so he wasn’t having a go at you but more stating that at the price he’s paid they better not go rusty! I would say the same!

Your original post made out that he just came out with that remark which paints him in a very bad light.

You should’ve been clearer x

TheresAnEyeInMeSoup · 17/05/2021 21:35

And whilst you don't need anyone permission to dump someone, I'm going to go slightly against the grain here.

Your comment regarding the diamond earrings and comparing them to Claire's earrings did sound a little rude (whether you meant it to or not) so I'm not surprised he retorted.

Also him being moody and saying he would have dinner at his own place. Ok, he was moody in the morning, but some people are moody until to properly wake up. I'm a grumpy sod in the morning, I try not to be but I just am. There was nothing wrong with him being g honest with you sand saying he would be having dinner at home. This wouldn't bother me, although the moodiness might irk a little.

The facebook thing is weird. As for dog walking and taking ages, you should stop cooking for him ful stop and eat dinner at a time that pleases you.

If you feel like you need to end this, then do, but the earrings thing and the morning grumpiness are neither here nor there.

TheresAnEyeInMeSoup · 17/05/2021 21:37

Excuse the typos

Original poster
Lookafteryourself · 17/05/2021 21:40

[quote Worriesome]@Lookafteryourself - his response was catered for your remark of “hope they don’t go rusty” so he wasn’t having a go at you but more stating that at the price he’s paid they better not go rusty! I would say the same!

Your original post made out that he just came out with that remark which paints him in a very bad light.

You should’ve been clearer x[/quote]
But he did just come out with the remark! I can’t keep saying I meant in no way to be rude to him we had previously spoken about my rusty earrings which I didn’t think would do that just because their from Claire’s like I’ve said a zillion times

OP posts:
Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 22:05

To be honest, I'm not surprised he said that based on your cheap comment which came first.

moonriverandme · 17/05/2021 23:17

You can do better op. Yes he may not have taken your comment the way you meant it , but in all other ways he is selfish, it's his way or not at all. He sounds like a teenager with the Facebook excuse and why can't he bring the dog to you, eat at a reasonable time and then both walk the dog. Relationships shouldn't be this hard. I would return the earrings and dump him. The relationship obviously isn't working, it's him not you. 💐

Original poster
Lookafteryourself · 18/05/2021 05:56

@moonriverandme

You can do better op. Yes he may not have taken your comment the way you meant it , but in all other ways he is selfish, it's his way or not at all. He sounds like a teenager with the Facebook excuse and why can't he bring the dog to you, eat at a reasonable time and then both walk the dog. Relationships shouldn't be this hard. I would return the earrings and dump him. The relationship obviously isn't working, it's him not you. 💐
I’ve mentioned before about bringing the dog but he won’t because he’s very boisterous and he’s in a routine with having walks where he lives he wouldn’t settle at mine his words.
OP posts:
nickelbabe · 18/05/2021 08:26

I agree that his reply to your comment was justified. I know you keep trying to counter it, but it doesn't matter.

You do not need permission to break a relationship. If it is not working and you are not happy, then break it.
"It's not working for me."

I know it's hard to break up - everything suddenly changes. But you're quite clearly unhappy. You do not have to have excuses or even reasons.

And start eating at a real time - snacking is not healthy!

Original poster
Lookafteryourself · 18/05/2021 09:27

At the end of the day I know what I mean about the earrings unfortunately people on here don’t seem to get it, he never implied I was been rude and infact we carried on to have a good day.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2021 10:00

Forget the earrings OP, you aren't happy in this relationship which is all dictated on his terms and you don't think it'll last long term.

So why aren't you ending the relationship?

Original poster
Lookafteryourself · 18/05/2021 10:05

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Forget the earrings OP, you aren't happy in this relationship which is all dictated on his terms and you don't think it'll last long term.

So why aren't you ending the relationship?

Because it’s difficult been with him 2 years I guess you get used to someone he can be nice when he wants to be
OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2021 10:09

Two years isn't that long though, not in the grand scheme. And you don't have ties like a house or child. It'll never be easier to break up with him than it is now. Anyone can be nice sometimes, or nobody would stay with abusers. Not saying your boyfriend is that, he just sounds like a prick who thinks he can be in charge of everyone around him.

You aren't happy with him - isn't that enough to end it?

Original poster
Lookafteryourself · 18/05/2021 10:20

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Two years isn't that long though, not in the grand scheme. And you don't have ties like a house or child. It'll never be easier to break up with him than it is now. Anyone can be nice sometimes, or nobody would stay with abusers. Not saying your boyfriend is that, he just sounds like a prick who thinks he can be in charge of everyone around him.

You aren't happy with him - isn't that enough to end it?

Yes maybe I should be on my own a while to see if I’m happier without him.
OP posts:
P1ainJanine · 18/05/2021 16:33

he can be nice when he wants to be

This says a lot. Decent people are nice to people they care about all the time, not just when it suits them.

Original poster
Lookafteryourself · 18/05/2021 19:54

I remember a time when we had arranged to get a takeaway pizza, I called him up and said can we have it at mine, he asked why I said because your dog doesn’t behave itself when we eat it has a tendency to stare while your eating it’s off putting and he will come and sniff your plate I keep having to move it. Anyway he got annoyed and said we’ll just leave it then I said we don’t have to we’ll just eat at mine he was having none of it we argued he said he was staying at home and having pizza on his own, I think things have just been building up for a while and it’s all got on top of me. Was I in the wrong about his dog?

OP posts:
Therealjudgejudy · 18/05/2021 20:06

This relationship sounds very immature

youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2021 21:10

OP, when you're dissecting who was right or wrong about the way a dog looks at pizza... it's really, really time to end the relationship.

Fireflygal · 18/05/2021 22:18

2 years seems to be the time when you know if the relationship will work.

I think the logistics between you too don't work. I also think the dog is an issue for you but obviously important to him. However if he resolves conflict by stonewalling then you will never have a healthy relationship.

I think there is enough wrong to end the relationship.

Original poster
Lookafteryourself · 18/05/2021 22:38

I just hoped he was the one, I get fed up of going round in circles trying to find someone.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2021 22:44

@Lookafteryourself

I just hoped he was the one, I get fed up of going round in circles trying to find someone.
I know it's rubbish but being single at least for a decent chunk of time while you get your head straight is so much better than going round in circles with the same man. It's such a headfuck.
Clunt · 18/05/2021 22:55

Sorry but you did make a rude comment regards the earrings… diamond earrings are considerably more expensive than any you get in Claire’s and I too would be annoyed if I’d shelled out on the real deal to hear …I hope they don’t go brown? Nothing wrong at all with earrings from Claire’s but you should know the difference between those and diamond! As for the other problems .. the dog staring, the pizza, wind down time after work… if it’s not working for you then just move on

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