Opinions - is he thinking of proposing?

[grownupteenmum]

Long story short - been with my DP for almost 16 years. Second relationship for both of us. He’s been married, I never have.
He proposed early on in our relationship and then changed his mind - this was totally understandable based on his previous experiences and I would have done the same. As a result getting married has not been on the agenda since. We have bought a house together - he’s totally committed. No issues at all.
Over the last year he’s sort of hinted at marriage but there’s not been any real conversation about it. He knows that ideally I would like to get married but it’s not a dealbreaker.

What got me thinking about it was that yesterday I mentioned I needed to get some new business cards ordered and he said maybe wait until after your birthday - I said why and he said you’ll have to wait and see.
The only logical thing I can think of as to why I would need to wait is if my details were going to change... Which would mean marriage. What do you think?!
I need some opinions!! Thanks 😊

I can see why you would think so but I would err on the side of thinking not... even after proposing your name would still be the same for quite a while? Maybe he's getting you some nice business cards? Sorry!

I must admit that was what I was thinking - but he wouldn’t be that organised to do something like that!!

This would drive me mad!
When's your birthday?

When is your birthday? I thought yes at first but you wouldn’t be changing your name until after the wedding so assume you wouldn’t be waiting that long to get new cards? Has he got you a new phone maybe?

Would he plan a surprise wedding? I shudder at that thought but that would be the only reason your name might change on your Birthday.

He might be getting you business cards fit your birthday...

I mean, I’m aware it sounds unlikely, but mine got me promotional pens for Christmas once.

He's getting you some new business cards.

Thanks for the post about the phone, I’ve just had a lightbulb moment!! I’ve been talking about getting a new phone just for work stuff... It will be that!! Mystery solved!!

Surprise wedding? Can he do that if you haven't given notice?

I think it's business cards.

@grownupteenmum

Thanks for the post about the phone, I’ve just had a lightbulb moment!! I’ve been talking about getting a new phone just for work stuff... It will be that!! Mystery solved!!

Ah, slightly disappointed it isn't business cards but enjoy your new phone!

I wouldn't like it if someone proposed on my birthday tbf
Maybe it's a new phone? I hope so

Do you not keep your old number when you get a new phone? I keep it, can't be assed telling everyone it's changed.

Well, a few years ago my husband (then boyfriend) kept telling me how he got me something I AM GOING TO WEAR EVERYDAY on holiday we were going on. I obviously thought ring. No, pair of new sunglasses 🙄

No idea but I wouldn't marry a man arrogant enough to think I'd change my name, it's not 1955.

The phone sounds most likely. But if you want to get married book a nice dinner and have a proper chat about it.

If you want to get married, why don’t you just ask him to marry you?

A new phone... how exciting... He’s backed out before. I cannot see him changing his mind. He’s not on the same page as you.

It doesn't sound likely to be honest. (I'd be mighty pissed off if DP assumed I would change my name on marriage.). If you really want to get married, talk about it with him.

Why in 2021 are we still waiting for men to propose ?

I wouldn't be impressed with a man who'd proposed and then changed his mind, no matter what the circumstances! 🤨

16 years. Maybe have a chat with him?

I waited 8 years for him to propose. We got married and he wished he had done it earlier. you’ve been together a while so ask him xxx

Why don't you ask him to marry you OP? Too many women still don't just ask for what they want.

Why are women still waiting to be proposed to? Considering he’s already proposed and reneged I’d be be pissed off at the sheer arrogance.

As for the new phone idea, would you be changing your number? This doesn’t make sense. Order the damn business cards because neither scenarios would have zero impact if you aren’t wanting to change your name or telephone number.

Op you obviously think his ‘surprise’ is endearing but urgh, I personally couldn’t be arsed with this level of benevolent bullshitery.

You're waiting for a proposal after 16 years? Don't you think the ship of romantic proposals has sailed??
Why not just have the conversation with him?

I'm a bit surprised you think he might propose after 16 years?

If you want to get married (which isn't a bad idea - especially as you get older) then I think you are going to have to force him to discuss it with you, but I think 16 years with no marriage says it all, sorry.