I've just been dumped by text

[navys]

I've just been dumped. By text. After 4 years. I can't get my head round it.

So sorry to hear this, OP. Please just take the time to breathe and grieve the loss of the relationship. I agree it's a good idea to tell your son he's away for a week or something so you don't have to deal with questions for a while. As for his belongings, it is not your responsibility to get them back to him. In your position I would tell him (once you decide you want to deal with it, no rush) that he needs to have collected his things by X date otherwise they'll be thrown out.

Do you have friends who can support you IRL?

The first thing my son said this morning was to ask what time X was coming over. Ive told him that X is busy at the minute so he won't see him for a little while. My son is 6, so he doesn't really remember a time before X was around.

I do have RL friends but they're all pretty busy with things now that stuff has started opening up again. One has just offered to come over this afternoon.

I just feel like I could cry at any minute, trying so hard to not let my son see.

Hi op , so what did the text say? No reason?
It’s really awful to text after 4 years, says a lot about a person. Hugs

I was dumped by letter in the days before mobiles! I was living with a guy I adored and came home from

Stone cold bastard.
I'm so sorry, OP. X

How awful what a spineless coward.
I’ve just read the ops posts in the other threads and whilst she came out of it better I do feel the pain was protracted slightly by her silence that led him to get back in touch before he finally gave up.
I think cutting him off with a harsh reply could have sped up the separation process.
I would tell him how utterly thoughtless and selfish he’s been to text you, especially with your ds and that you wish you’d known earlier what a shit he was as it’s left you completely cold and wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole.
When he comes back saying I knew you’d be like this or whatever, tell him to FO.

@RedStiletto Just that he felt it wasn't working any longer, he was unhappy and we should go our separate ways.

I got a full 2 sentences!

Don’t worry about getting his stuff to him. Black bag it (don’t worry about being careful) and leave it outside and let him know it will be there for two days and then chucked.

Fuck him.

So sorry OP. What a coward.

Re: the linked thread, I completely disagree that the OP handled that one well. She did exactly what her ex wanted, she followed his 'wishes' by not replying! Allowed him to sneak off like a snake with zero accountability.
I'm aware that whatever she may have replied to him might not have made much or any difference, but totally ignoring his "No need to reply" would be exactly what I'd have done! Why should he not be held to account?!?

These men are pathetic 😡

@SkodaKodiaq

So sorry OP. What a coward.

Re: the linked thread, I completely disagree that the OP handled that one well. She did exactly what her ex wanted, she followed his 'wishes' by not replying! Allowed him to sneak off like a snake with zero accountability.
I'm aware that whatever she may have replied to him might not have made much or any difference, but totally ignoring his "No need to reply" would be exactly what I'd have done! Why should he not be held to account?!?

These men are pathetic 😡

She handled it perfectly because as everyone predicted he couldn't believe she actually moved on with her life - he was faux worried, then angry and all the while she kept her dignity and ignored him. She absolutely did herself proud! Holding a boyfriend to account for splitting up with you in a shitty doesn't make sense IMO - they aren't actually going to feel bad if they don't already, some confused or angry texts back to them aren't a consequence that changes anything. It might make the person who got dumped feel better to get their anger out in the short term, but it's much more satisfying and healthy to draw a line, move on and look to the future. I think so anyway, I know everyone is different.

Yes, she ‘won’, but, I think she could have been able to move on quicker if she’d not heard from him again after telling him to GFKd. It would be interesting to hear what she’d do now if it happened again.

[quote navys]@RedStiletto Just that he felt it wasn't working any longer, he was unhappy and we should go our separate ways.

I got a full 2 sentences! [/quote]
Wow. This is even worse.

You must be totally blindsided and of course you are utterly confused. You will be desperate for a proper reason. You deserve a proper reason, actually. I know that people on here often say 'you can leave anyone for any reason at any time and all you have to say is 'this isn't working for me anymore', but being on the receiving end of this sort of thing, totally out of the blue and with no explanation can actually drive a person round the bend. I am sure you must be going over and over everything trying to work out what you did 'wrong' (I think the answer to that is most likely nothing at all).

You deserve better than a two line text after 4 years.

Hang on for the anger. It will come and it might push you through. The bugger is the sad and confused bit, which I'm sure you are feeling now. It will pass. Try to eat. Try to calm that horrible 'standing on the edge of a cliff' feeling.

Keep talking to us

This happened to me 6 years ago this very Saturday...after 4 years....poof over and out. I didn't speak to him for 3 years when he wanted to meet up to apologise. You are going to go into shock and pain....its part of this horrible process but be brave and get through it. It is a horrible way to finish with someone. Do not contact him, bag his stuff up and get it out as quickly as possible to someone mutual who can return it to him. If you can do it today then that would be best. Your son will be fine. You need to tell him that he has gone away for a long while. He will eventually not notice. My daughter was much older when mine left and it did affect her as she was close to my ex. I will and have never ever forgiven him for this despite his protestations and wanting to come back. Stay strong. Get through this as best as possible and get your friends around you quickly xx

@litterbird How did you cope? I can't even think straight at the minute.

Do not answer that text.
Ever.
Sorry, but go radio silence.
That's all he deserves.

Sorry to hear this has happened to you, that is appalling.
What is key right now is the you never, ever, ever respond to his text.

I'm time - you can delete all his info and block him.
He is waiting on a response from you.
The egomaniacal prick.
DO NOT GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF A RESPONSE.
Sorry for shouting but this is critical.

Oh yeah - sling all his stuff in the rubbish.
He should have thought about all that before he treated you so cruelly.

Common theme for males I would say. Whatever did you see in him. Stayed at yours most nights... must have saved a fortune on his bills... hes has some other woman on the go I suspect. Prob do same thing to her eventually. You are strong on your own although you dont think so right now

I'm so sorry. That's horrible.

Don't worry about his stuff, just stick it all in a cardboard box in the cupboard out of sight, if he asks for it leave it on your doorstep for him to collect. If not then you can chuck it at a later date, but he should be worrying about that kind of shit not you.

And if you haven't already please please read the threads linked by pps. My dds bf dumped her by text and then put the phone down on her when she called to speak to him about it, I showed her the previously mentioned threads and from them she managed to go no contact, he came running back within a couple of weeks, begging her to take him back, he couldn't believe she'd blocked HIM after he put the phone down. She's young and still thinking about taking him back, much to my disgust 😁

@happinessischocolate

Don't worry about his stuff, just stick it all in a cardboard box in the cupboard out of sight, if he asks for it leave it on your doorstep for him to collect. If not then you can chuck it at a later date, but he should be worrying about that kind of shit not you.

And if you haven't already please please read the threads linked by pps. My dds bf dumped her by text and then put the phone down on her when she called to speak to him about it, I showed her the previously mentioned threads and from them she managed to go no contact, he came running back within a couple of weeks, begging her to take him back, he couldn't believe she'd blocked HIM after he put the phone down. She's young and still thinking about taking him back, much to my disgust 😁

This!

I've got a bloody great bike in my hall! I've moved it in to the conservatory for now but I'm sure he'll want that back as it's new. I'm not sure about the rest of his stuff.

Bag it and dump it in the front garden. What a prick!

@navys

I've got a bloody great bike in my hall! I've moved it in to the conservatory for now but I'm sure he'll want that back as it's new. I'm not sure about the rest of his stuff.

Let him arrange getting it. What a knobber.

If there is any way you can get his stuff to him through a third party, I would be looking to do that. You don't need the grief. It certainly wouldn't do you any good to see him,

I’d send him a fuck you
!!! and send a photo of you burning his stuff..
sending you hugs