I've just been dumped by text

[navys]

I've just been dumped. By text. After 4 years. I can't get my head round it.

I’m sorry OP.

Happened to me five years ago. We had been living together a few years! He just didn’t come home one night and when I messaged to see where he was he told me it was over.

You know what? The way he dumped me was so cowardly, I fell out of love and attraction with him within a day of it happening. It was such a blessing that he didn’t do the mature grown up normal in person break up I deserved. Maybe if he’d done it properly I’d have felt I was losing something worthwhile. But honestly within a day I could laugh about it, how daft I’d been to live with someone so immature and pathetic that dumping a cohabiting partner by text was an appropriate thing in their minds. It’s laughable lol.

You will heal from this. Find your anger. That he thinks so little of you he believes this is an okay way to end it. Remember you deserve better and being single is better than being with a prick like that.

He has possibly had his head turned and as you know too much of a coward to say anything because he is so conflict avoidant.

Hope your Mum is ok

I know it's hard OP.. and this is easy for me to say but.. do NOT text him, or ring him. Do NOT contact him at all. He'll be wondering why you're not begging and crying at his feet for answers. Fuck him, he's a coward. After 4 years together and THIS shows how little respect he has for you.

Another one here to say he is a coward!!! You can do so much better than a fella who is such a dick as to dump you by txt!! As if any decent person would do that.
Don’t cry over him he’s not worth your tears, you will see this in the coming days, your in shock right now.
It’s only a matter of time before you meet someone who treats you with respect and kindness which you deserve xx

What an utter bastard

You poor thing

Please read that thread someone shared where someone else went through the same thing. She is so warm and inspiring and brilliant. As are you, I'm sure!

Utter wanker.

I'd simply not reply and never contact him again.

I have no idea how ill get to sleep tonight. And I've no idea how I'm going to tell my son, he's glued to his hip usually. What a shit.

It won't be the end of it.

Not after 4 years. Just block him for now and take some head space for yourself.

So sorry op
What a nasty man he is. I know you want to understand but someone who would behave in this way will never give you the explanation you deserve

Block him on all social. Get some real life support.
Pack up his stuff. Can you give it to a mutual friend for him to collect?

Grieve but also try to move on. It’s all you can do really. At least you know that you are a good person which is more than he is

What a dick, obviously they have shown thier true colours so maybe done you a favour. You don’t need to be someone cowardly like that!

@navys did he not give you any sort of explanation in his text? After 4 years you deserved more than just a message. No wonder it has shocked you x

Does he have a key? If so, you might want to consider changing your locks. He isn’t entitled to wander in at his convenience to collect his things. You deserve to reclaim some control.

What a coward. Bag all his things up and tell him to collect them.

So sorry OP! I know the feeling well, 7 years, 2 kids, house the lot.. ended in one text message. It’s been a year now and it does get easier however I will say I’m over ‘him’ because a cowardly scum bag like that deserve me or you, But when I think about how it happened it makes my insides ache and cringe. It’s so degrading, it’s beyond cruel and utterly disgusting. Surround yourself with good people, lots of self care, walks, drinks, whatever you need to do to cope. All the best xxxx

Doesn’t deserve women like me or you*

Sorry should have proof read before posting, it’s wine o’clock!

I'm so sorry OP. Sadly I know the feeling feeling too. My 'D'H told me it was over by text. I had no idea anything was wrong! It hit me like a ton of bricks and 18 months later I still wonder what I did so wrong. I've not heard a word since and it's left so many unanswered questions. He never said goodbye to my DC and we didn't get to say goodbye to his. I don't feel anything for him any more (he is a spineless tosser) but I can't say I'm completely over what he did. Make sure you've got some support in real life and do whatever you need to, to look after yourself 💐

Agree with pp, this won’t be the end of things.

You’ll get a text in a week or so asking if you’re ok, how is your son etc.

Next thing, he’s confused and wants some time.

Sorry this is happening to you op x

It is incredibly selfish of him OP. Try and find anger. It will help you heal.
If he does come crawling back (once the OW doesn't want him) shut the door in his face.

It's safe to say I probably got an hours sleep last night. Wondering what I did wrong, how I'm going to tell my son, how am I going to get his stuff back to him. I feel like I've been hit by a bus!

All a totally normal response to a breakup after 4 years, and even more so when he took such a cowardly way out. Let him contact you to collect his belongings. Don’t do the work for him. I’d suggest just telling your son that he’s not coming over for a few days and then explain to him when you’re feeling up to.
Sending hugs, you can get through this.

Maybe he is annoyed that you are all worried about your mum rn rather than paying him attention. Either way he is a selfish fucker.

I'd just reply 'cool, I have no interest in dating a coward anyway'. Then block him.

As for your wee boy, I'd just say 'son, unfortunately in life sometimes we think people are good, kind, reliable people...and then they turn out not to be. Its sad but know that I love you and I'm not going anywhere'.

@Umberellatheweatha

Maybe he is annoyed that you are all worried about your mum rn rather than paying him attention. Either way he is a selfish fucker.

I'd just reply 'cool, I have no interest in dating a coward anyway'. Then block him.

As for your wee boy, I'd just say 'son, unfortunately in life sometimes we think people are good, kind, reliable people...and then they turn out not to be. Its sad but know that I love you and I'm not going anywhere'.

Great advice here I think.

Although possibly no response is the best response in these circs.