If your DH said you couldn’t do something would you consider splitting up?

[Paintedpets]

I’ve mentioned that when we are allowed to I’d like a night away for a couple of friends, shopping and a meal.
DH has said no way. Not for discussion. Not happening.
I’m not the sort of person to just go anyway and he wouldn’t deal too well with that anyway.

Deal breaker? For context he’s having a night out next weekend and stopping away because he will have a drink and pre covid he would go out and stop over / go on stag weekends etc. It’s not as though it’s ever crossed my mind to tell him he can’t.

[Chunkymenrock]

I am utterly confused as to why he would even dream of stopping you? You're 2 adults. What you each decide to do is up to you. It's normal and healthy. Either you're both 16 or he is an absolutely controlling weirdo and you would be well advised to reassess your relationship with this guy.

[Ra1nbowr00m]

I've always had time away to visit family, friends & to do my hobbies

I earn my own money

This is my normal life

I would absolutely not put up with someone trying to stop me doing something !

[ProfessionalWeirdo]

if you were his employee, you would have legal rights to time off. As a wife you get fuck all.

And as a mother you get the square root of fuck-all. No time off even if you are ill.

OP, have you tried asking him why it's OK for him to go away overnight but not OK for you?

[Mumma]

Genuinely concerned for you. This is not healthy and certainly not what you want your kids to think is a healthy adult relationship. Run away as fast as you can.

[Bentley76]

I went through this kind of ridiculous behaviour for 18yrs, until I realised he was a controlling, manipulative, horrible arsehole! If you stand up to him now and stand your ground, it could make all the difference and change the way he thinks but in my experience once this kind of attitude starts, it just escalates. Relationships should be equal and no asking for permission.

[CMSdividend]

@momtoboys There are several posters, including myself, who have experienced this sort of behaviour. I don't for one second believe this to be a wind up.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

@momtoboys

I am happy that you have no comprehension of how this could be a relationship.

Sadly there are thousands upon thousand of women out there, a fair few of which are on MN, for whom this is or has been their reality. Just because its never happened to you doesnt mean its never happened to anyone.