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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband messaging escorts

61 replies

BrokenDown123 · 13/05/2021 02:30

Without getting in glory details just want to knw if anyone has been in similar situation and how it turned out.
So I've caught my husband searching and messaging escorts. Found out through old bills that's been going on for over 6 months. He is sorry but says his only been looking and messaging his never been to one. His makes appointments but then cancels them.
I'm trying to understand this can someone really message and make appointments with escorts for over 6 months and not actually go and see them? I'm I naive to believe him? Please let me know your experiences and thoughts. I have checked bank statements and there aren't any large cash withdrawals or any strange charges.

OP posts:
Londono · 13/05/2021 12:03

Ten years ago my then DH was searching for escorts near to where we lived and where he worked. He swore that he was only looking. Perhaps he was, I will never know for sure. I couldn't find any record of payments to one when I asked to see his bank accounts.

I never found anything again but I will tell you that we are now splitting up and I have never forgotten this discovery and I wish we had split then as I could be in the thick of my new life now instead of trying to start again ten years on and older.

MissScotland101 · 13/05/2021 13:17

I hope all men don’t pay for sex, it’s becoming more common place, my friends little brother is 24 and he and his mates speak of seeing an escort like they’re going to the pub, she over heard them, when I was 24 then escorts were never mentioned...I despair at what’s happening in this world, and the internet doesn’t help, everything is too accessible these days.Sad

H2OConnoisseur · 14/05/2021 01:19

@Caramel81

A bloke I knew who used to visit escorts would withdraw a tenner here and there until he had built up £100 to go and see an escort once a month. He said it would be too suspect to his wife if he withdrew it all in one go
Another method an ex of a friend used is to have his mate pay for both their escorts with him repaying his mate by buying him a coffee daily (they were both interns at the same company). He was able to hide it from her for 8 months this way and she wouldn't have found out if his friend's girlfriend didn't tell her about it!
H2OConnoisseur · 14/05/2021 01:23

@MissScotland101

I hope all men don’t pay for sex, it’s becoming more common place, my friends little brother is 24 and he and his mates speak of seeing an escort like they’re going to the pub, she over heard them, when I was 24 then escorts were never mentioned...I despair at what’s happening in this world, and the internet doesn’t help, everything is too accessible these days.Sad
Back in Uni I remember having a 'boys trip to Amsterdam' was common. They weren't exactly discrete about what they were doing there either.
Cheesecakefix · 14/05/2021 01:26

LTB

avamiah · 14/05/2021 01:37

No No No No, you do not message and then cancel escorts as they would block him as he would be classed as “ Mr Wanker Time Waster”
He is talking rubbish or you are ?

Pyewackect · 14/05/2021 01:45

I’d want to know why he felt the need to seek the services of a prostitute ?. What, in his mind , was missing from your relationship ?. I would then ask him how he would feel and what he would do if it was you who were talking to other men on a sexual basis ?. He needs to make a decision if he wants a marriage and then he needs to convince you it’s worth it. But I would make it clear he’s lost your trust and respect. There maybe no way back from this but I would at least try and talk go him.

HidingFromTheChildren · 14/05/2021 01:47

I wouldn't be able to forgive that.

UghJustSoPredictable · 14/05/2021 06:32

OP, if I've learnt anything from these threads it's that they all say they only messaged/booked but didn't go through with it until the wife has proof that they did.

They were all lying.

My exams vice was spending money on crap. ££££s of it and then some. He was always buying stuff for other people (they didn't have an ebay account/their wife wouldn't let them buy stuff/their neighbours were unreliable if it was delivered and he wasn't in...) all lies, it was all stuff he bought for himself and hid in our loft.

These people lie.

UghJustSoPredictable · 14/05/2021 06:33

Exh's not exams

Hoppipolla479 · 14/05/2021 23:42

I have been in this situation and I can PROMISE you that this is the tip of a massive ugly iceberg. Men who behave like this are truly vile. Honestly, just get out.

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