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Original poster

To want to re home our 10 month old puppy...

457 replies

intheloudhouse · 10/05/2021 10:15

We got a cockapoo last summer. He's a nice natured dog and house trained quite easily but he just causes me so much stress.

I have a very active 4 year old and I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant with HG so most days moving from the sofa is an effort at the moment.

He chews all DS's toys, all of my underwear to shreds (he gets it out of the washing basket) he terrorises the cat, (we have to now feed the cat on the kitchen table as he eats her food) goes into the bins and rips everything up that's in then, he annoys DS and steals food from his plate, he constantly jumps up on the back of the sofa to look out of the window and bark.. when DP is away I can't even go and stay with my parents for support as he hassles their elderly dog.. and quite simply I honestly don't have the energy or headspace to be able to give him the love and attention he needs at the moment with me being so unwell and then obviously I'll have a baby too in 5 months.

DP will not have any of it that I want to rehome him. He says he would rather get rid of me first. But it's me that's left with him while he goes out to work or for meals or days out with his friends on a weekend!

I just don't know what to do.

Message from MNHQ - please do read all the OP's posts before commenting as there is more to this thread than initially appears and the OP is in need of support. Thank you.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 10/05/2021 12:18

They are high energy dogs, I think people forget this when getting a puppy. We had a high energy dog years ago that we had to eventually rehome as it was causing so much stress despite me walking it miles every day (the more I exercised him the more he wanted), I felt awful but he went to a better home that had lots of space and time to work with him, he was a breed that really needed a job to do to keep him busy.

Your dh either needs to pull his finger out and do more with the dog or let you rehome it as things won’t get any better, your dog needs exercise and things to keep it occupied.

Woeismethischristmas · 10/05/2021 12:18

The dog does sound bored and attention seeking. My lab had a phase like this and is much better now she’s older. Really it just sounds like you’ve got too much on your plate just now. I’d look to rehome. Tell DHif he doesn’t step up it’s the only option.

lostlife · 10/05/2021 12:18

Another option is foster care. This is usually through a charity and can be temporary. I do also know a foster carer

Singlenotsingle · 10/05/2021 12:19

Quietintheranks surely the best thing for the dog would be to move to a more suitable home? One where the owner has got time to walk it and give it all the attention it needs?

Cyw2018 · 10/05/2021 12:20

Op I can sympathise with your situation, my dog was 6 months old when I conceived DD and I had HG, although not as severe as some as the antiemetic worked reasonably well to control the actual vomiting, the relentless nausea and fatigue were still terrible though.

I managed to walk the dog most days although not as long or frequently as I would have wanted. It was pretty miserable at time and i used to go to quiet places so no one would see me wretching. His training wasn't as thorough as it should have been but that can be caught up on later (private dog training sessions are well worth the money).

Walk in shade, and take a ball so you can kick it (or use a ball launcher) for maximum tiredness/minimal effort. Try and find somewhere for your dog to swim, so you can relax on the bank whilst just throwing sticks/balls into the water.

Could you afford a dog walker a few times a week, find one that will exercise your dog in a group, off lead with similar aged dogs, this will get your dog properly tired and his behaviour in the house will improve massively as a result.

Remember your HG will start to ease into the second trimester, even if it doesn't disappear completely.

Sparrowfeeder · 10/05/2021 12:20

selfish and irresponsible.

SlothMama · 10/05/2021 12:22

Your partner sounds awful, you deserve so much better. I know you don't want to cause your Dad stress but could you temporarily move in with him?

Only you could make decisions regarding your circumstances but you need to get away from him. Get the house up for sale and try and find a new job.

mayblossominapril · 10/05/2021 12:23

I've skim read your thread.
Are your parents near? would your Dad advocate for you at the hospital or GP to get some help with the extreme sickness? Some staff at Scarborough Hospital are great, its a bit hit and miss. If you can get that under control you can hopefully think a little clearer.
Contact your HV team see what support they can offer. Speak to CAB and a solicitor about the house situation and what benefits you would be eligible for.
Personally I wouldn't end the pregnancy but I would either leave the dog or make him take the dog depending on the advice you get about housing.

mayblossominapril · 10/05/2021 12:24

Houses are selling quick in North Yorkshire so could you get an estate agent round when he is out and explain you want a quick sale.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 10/05/2021 12:24

Rehome the dog. It's in its best interests to have an owner who can take proper care of it. Also, one less burden for you.

Also, get rid of your "D"P. You're in a tough situation but where there's a will, there's a way. You should at least start making plans to do this.

I would also say seriously consider an abortion. Then with your DC at school, you can get back to work and being financially independent. But the 20 weeks complicates it. I'm not sure I could have an abortion at 20 weeks. It's a tough call and you have my sympathy Flowers.

The dog is really an unfortunate symptom of more serious issues.

vivainsomnia · 10/05/2021 12:24

Sorry OP but it’s hard to have empathy. You had a young child and planned to have a second. This alone was enough to accept that now was not the right time to get a puppy. What was the reason to get one in the first place?

Do rehouse him. I would to someone who has the time, energy and affection to give him but maybe not £2k to buy one. You could sell for a couple of hundred pound or nothing. Your partner needs to accept that your household will not bring happiness to this dog who deserves better.

Ideasplease322 · 10/05/2021 12:26

Poor puppy. You made a huge mistake here and I agree you should never g we another pet.

But I do think the puppy would be better off in a home where he was cared for properly. Dogs are a huge commitment and people enter into it far too lightly. Think it will be cute but don’t really understand how it will change their day to day life.

If you can’t all are for it properly give it to someone who can

Somuchgoo · 10/05/2021 12:26

Go to your dad's with your 4 year old.

I'm sure he'd much rather you have a live child at the end of this pregnancy, even if it's hard for him for a few months.

It may not even be that long if the HG starts to abate, or you find a treatment that works.

The dog is important, but it's not as important as you or your unborn child's life.

If he is the only person that's willing to step up and support you right now, then run to him and let him do it.

Greenmarmalade · 10/05/2021 12:27

@vivainsomnia it’s really not hard to empathise in this situation, if you’ve read the full thread.

SunshineSuxx · 10/05/2021 12:27

Rehome the poor dog. Go to a cockapoo breed charity and they will be able to find the dog a better home - you could also try Spaniel Assist and Rescue which is an amazing charity.

I honestly think there has to be some sort of legislation in place to home puppies - you've possibly damaged this dog for life with the lack of effort it's had in the crucial years. I'm genuinely not trying to make you feel worse, I appreciate the situation you're in but poodles are a fucking nightmare to train and if you'd researched the breed, you'd know that.

Definately · 10/05/2021 12:28

This reply has been deleted

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lynsey91 · 10/05/2021 12:28

If you had said your husband got the dog and you didn't want one I would have some sympathy but you say you wanted the dog.

You already had a young child yet you took on a puppy and then could not be arsed to train it properly. You says it chews!!! THAT IS WHAT PUPPIES DO.

Did you intend having more children? If so why get a puppy? You should have waited or maybe got an older dog.

Eaststreet · 10/05/2021 12:28

I can’t understand the people on here sympathising with you.
Did you seriously not consider all these things before you got a dog? Or did you jump on the lockdown puppy bandwagon without a second thought for the poor thing?
The dog sounds bored and poorly trained.

lynsey91 · 10/05/2021 12:29

Also why are you talking about rehoming him? He should be going back to the breeder. I assume you got him from a reputable breeder?

Somethingsnappy · 10/05/2021 12:29

Ignore the nasty posts on here OP and take advice from the sensible ones. I'm sorry you're having a horrible time at the moment. Flowers

Nanny0gg · 10/05/2021 12:30

@lynsey91

If you had said your husband got the dog and you didn't want one I would have some sympathy but you say you wanted the dog.

You already had a young child yet you took on a puppy and then could not be arsed to train it properly. You says it chews!!! THAT IS WHAT PUPPIES DO.

Did you intend having more children? If so why get a puppy? You should have waited or maybe got an older dog.

Do you think you could spare the time to read the OP’s posts?

Because you really should

Cyw2018 · 10/05/2021 12:30

@Eaststreet

I can’t understand the people on here sympathising with you. Did you seriously not consider all these things before you got a dog? Or did you jump on the lockdown puppy bandwagon without a second thought for the poor thing? The dog sounds bored and poorly trained.
Have you ever suffered from HG? It is horrific and send you down a massive black hole of despair, of course I can sympathise with the OP.
Somethingsnappy · 10/05/2021 12:31

P. S. Most people writing nasty responses clearly haven't been bothered to read your updates. Remember this OP.. You are important too x

rookiemere · 10/05/2021 12:31

OP obviously made a bad decision getting a puppy, but repeatedly pointing that out to her is not going to help.

I've read your other thread OP, re-home the puppy, the Harrogate option sounds promising and then focus your mind on what you want to do about Wednesday.

00100001 · 10/05/2021 12:32

@vivainsomnia

Sorry OP but it’s hard to have empathy. You had a young child and planned to have a second. This alone was enough to accept that now was not the right time to get a puppy. What was the reason to get one in the first place?

Do rehouse him. I would to someone who has the time, energy and affection to give him but maybe not £2k to buy one. You could sell for a couple of hundred pound or nothing. Your partner needs to accept that your household will not bring happiness to this dog who deserves better.

did you actually read OPs subsequent posts?
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