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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet saved me - 2 years later

58 replies

EShellstrop · 06/05/2021 18:43

The two year anniversary of my ex hitting me for the first time passed recently, and I didn't even notice. I count that as a personal win, because I am no longer measuring my life in the time spent away from an abusive man.

But two years ago, I started a thread. I asked for help, and I got it. I got support and reassurance, and strength, and I left an abusive man the moment he laid a hand on me.

He was emotionally and financially abusive before he hit me. He used coercive control to keep me small for nearly 20 years.

But starting a thread on mumsnet, the day after he attacked me, helped me more than I could ever say.

Now? Now I have a career. I've just got a full time job paying more than I ever thought possible.

I have a healthy relationship.

My dc are doing well.

I have navigated the process of divorce and family court and I've come out the other side whole.

I am so, so grateful for this space and the women who cheered me on and helped me find my strength.

My life is better because of you. Thank you.

OP posts:
NiceTwin · 06/05/2021 19:46

This is the sort of update we all want to read.

Well done you and to the women who helped you find your inner strength Flowers

whiteshark · 06/05/2021 19:46

What a lovely update. You just be very proud of yourself. Im not crying.

AdaColeman · 06/05/2021 19:48

Wonderful post @EShellstrop, wishing you so much happiness in your new life! Thanks

julesover40 · 06/05/2021 19:48

What a fantastic update, so pleased your courage and strength have paid off.
This will help so many women see there is light at the end of the tunnel x

EShellstrop · 06/05/2021 19:50

@julesover40

What a fantastic update, so pleased your courage and strength have paid off. This will help so many women see there is light at the end of the tunnel x
There really, really is.
OP posts:
Fligo · 06/05/2021 19:58

What a lovely, moving update. Yes, women helping women are an amazing, incredibly powerful force for good, but so are you @EShellstrop, you're such an inspiration Flowers

SpacePotato · 06/05/2021 20:01

There is something very, very powerful about women supporting women

There really is. Well done on getting through the shit. You are amazing Flowers

redastherose · 06/05/2021 20:01

Lovely update OP glad to hear how much better your life has. Hopefully others who are suffering will take heart from your experience. Thanks

StillWeRise · 06/05/2021 20:03

well done OP
and the more women post like you have done, that they have found the strength to leave and have built succesful lives for themselves and DCs, the more other women will feel able to take those first steps
thanks for sharing

ConnieCaterpillar70 · 06/05/2021 20:04

What a fab story. And hopefully one that will give hope to others in the same situation.

Flowers
opinionminion · 06/05/2021 20:05
Thanks You truly deserve every happiness. You are an inspiration to me and your journey gives me hope.
Iworry2021 · 06/05/2021 20:06

Well done, so proud of you

manderleydreams · 06/05/2021 20:30

That’s amazing.

I’m praying that this might be me one day xx

Thestreets · 06/05/2021 20:31

This post is all that I believe mumsnet is. Well done OP I'm so pleased you made it Flowers

Thestreets · 06/05/2021 20:32

And thank you for your update, you will inspire more people than you know!

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 06/05/2021 20:48

@EShellstrop ❤️ I'm so happy for you!

wewereliars · 06/05/2021 20:51

Lovely update, well done OP Flowers

AdaFuckingShelby · 06/05/2021 20:54

So pleased you posted this inspirational update OP. I know it will help others who are still stuck in abusive relationships. I'm glad you got your life back. Flowers

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/05/2021 20:54

@manderleydreams

That’s amazing.

I’m praying that this might be me one day xx

I know I hope and wish for every woman on here caught in these situations.

Including you. Thanks

Bellablahhole · 06/05/2021 20:59

Wonderful update - such a message of hope. My wish for others in similar situations is that they can find the courage to reach out for help and take the first step to change their lives. Flowers

minou123 · 06/05/2021 21:00

There's something in my eye...

Well done Flowers

If you don't mind me asking EShellstrop, was there a piece of advice or words of encouragement that helped your strength to leave?

MrsPerfect12 · 06/05/2021 21:05

Well done for getting away and living your best life. I hope your post helps someone else take some first steps. Daffodil

NewAndImprovedNorks · 06/05/2021 21:10

Bloody brilliant

ThisTooShallPassOneDay · 06/05/2021 21:46

This is amazing. Bloody good for you OP! xx

Queenie6655 · 06/05/2021 21:52

Delighted for you

My gosh that was me three years ago

The clever kind people helped so much here

And by posting and getting some very helping private messages I saved a fortune when he took me to court

I am so happy to hear you are now thriving xxxxxxxxxxxx