Controlling behaviour? Do I take him back?

[Fairylou123123]

3 months ago I got back in touch with a man who I knew 21 years ago. This is a year after my marriage separation. To start with seemed a lovely guy. He gave me flowers, treated me like a princess, cooked me dinner, for on well with my kids and made me feel special. But very early on he started making comments about what clothes I was wearing and my make up. He wanted me to dress up for him all the time and if I didn’t he told me I didn’t turn him on. I told him to stop and he would then sulk and not speak to me the next day. He wouldn’t let me sleep at night, even when he knew I had to be up for work at 6am. He would keep me awake until 3am and if I tried to sleep he would say I didn’t care about him and sulk again. He told my kids that I was boring and no fun to be around but in a jokey tone. But my kids started to copy this behaviour and when I told him it was an issue he did stop. He wanted to spend time with me everyday and if I told him I was going to sleep then he would say I don’t expect to see you online and if he did see me he would accuse me of cheating on him. He overwhelmed me with expensive presents and after only a couple of weeks was telling me I’m his world and he can’t live without me. Has he been love bombing me? I told him I wanted to take things slow but he always took offence and felt like I didn’t care about him. He also started doing and saying things and then telling me he hadn’t said them. Anyway he dumped me a couple of days ago because I told him I don’t like how he talks to me. He has now contacted me today to day he is sorry and he didn’t mean any of it. I told him I’m not interested. Have I don’t the right thing? My kids are upset without him but I feel he is too controlling

Red flags everywhere!

Glad you've blocked him. Change your locks, hug your kids, do the Freedom Programme.

This sounds awful. I'd change your locks. Send back the Xbox, I think this is important even if it upsets your DC. The gift was inappropriate and may be used to spy on you.
The guy doesn't understand appropriate boundaries. Do not let him into your house unaccompanied, block and ignore.

Bloody he'll op are you dating my ex. Sounds like him, word for word. I didn't do what you did well I did but each time I took him back, I was a fool and have never regretted anything more in my life, he nearly destroyed my at the end, physically and mentally.
Block him on everything, ignore his hoovering mind games and honestly thank God for the huge bullett you've managed to swerve.

Major alarm bells ringing with all this messaging from different numbers and cheques and trying to worm his way back in. Hoping the locks are getting changed asap. As PP have advised, definitely time to start taking screenshots/logging his attempts to bulldoze his way back in. Look after yourself. x

He sounds crazy. Not letting you sleep would be enough without the rest. Count yourself lucky you've ended it now. Absolutely you've done the right thing! Good luck

Hope you're ok OP, seriously, it does sound like he made up a tale about your birthday just so he could get access to your key. I hope you've got your locks changed. Good luck with it, it could be a bumpy ride away.

@Opentooffers I’ve changed the locks. I have no idea how to check my wifi though and can’t see any cameras in the house. I reported all to the police as well

Well done @Fairylou123123 - I hope you are feeling safer and calmer now.

Check under your router, there should be login info and check your emails from your internet provider.

Well done for contacting the police.