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Original poster

Do you believe in soul mates?

81 replies

RudeDudeToo · 02/05/2021 20:21

If you do, are you with your soul mate?
Or have you not found them or they're the one that got away?
Do you believe in love at first sight?

I don't believe in soul mates as I think through life you can meet several people who you could envisage a relationship with. I have got a "one that got away" but it doesn't haunt me and I have moved on. I do think we would have had a loving and fulfilling relationship which perhaps could have gone the distance.

I don't believe at love at first sight but definitely lust at first sight Grin

OP posts:
YouAreTheStorm · 02/05/2021 20:29

"one that got away" is definitely a myth. Rose tinted glasses and a distorted recollection of the relationship that I believe grows over time.
I also wonder if it's a way to "glorify" the past.

pumpkinpie01 · 02/05/2021 20:34

Lust at first sight yes , love definitely not. You can't possibly know someone well enough to know you love them without spending a considerable amount of time in lots of different situations with them. I believe I'm with my soul mate I really can't imagine being with anyone else. He makes me laugh every day and we just click 😀

Lillypup · 02/05/2021 20:34

Well my ex is currently on soul mate number 4 so 😂that kinda clinched it for me 😂

cheeseislife8 · 02/05/2021 20:38

Nah. There's not such thing as perfect, its what's worth making the effort for and what isn't.
Lust at first sight though, yes!

lynsey91 · 02/05/2021 20:48

Yes I think I am with my soul mate. In my 60's and I honestly have never met anyone else that I could envisage having a relationship with.

I am always rather surprised when people split up with a fairly long time partner and then meet someone else very quickly

Original poster
RudeDudeToo · 02/05/2021 20:54

@YouAreTheStorm yes I think you're probably right. It was a non starter for me but for a valid reason but otherwise I think it would have worked. However, I think rose tinted glasses could be at play with it.

@Lillypup 🤣 that's brilliant. He's a "lucky" man to have had so many!

OP posts:
MrsDukeOfHastings · 02/05/2021 20:55

I thought my ex was my soul mate, truly believed it. He was a lying cheat so I don't really trust my judgement 🤣 I do have a one that got away though, I often think about him tbh.

AnaViaSalamanca · 02/05/2021 20:57

Love at first sight, yes. I saw his photo and I knew I wanted to have him. I got him. Cannot say a mistake as I love him but he is hard work.

I don’t believe in soulmates but I think he does. He thinks he is my soulmate. Wants to be with me all the time, hold my hand, cuddle on the sofa. He doesn’t like me to close the door when I work, yells from outside. If the door is open he ensures that miaws on the most important zoom calls..

80sPadme · 02/05/2021 20:59

I dont believe in soul mates but i do believe in meeting your 'person'.
I met mine and he is imperfectly perfect for me in every way, an I for him so he says.
I have never had such a healthy relationship. i feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be so loved and respected by someone who i can call mine.
we both have our quirks and both have children from our previous relationships but somehow we come together and it works.

I dont believe in love at first sight, as I knew him for about 18 months before i realised that i had feelings for him. Its only on reflection that i realise there must have been something there for a while and he said the same.

he became my best friend and that grew i suppose into what we have now :-)

CarnationCat · 02/05/2021 21:00

I definitely think we have soul mates. And no, I haven't met mine yet Grin

That person who you just click with and your souls connect..they do exist.. I'm very confident they do.

Lottielovescake · 02/05/2021 21:01

Yes and I’m with mine

Wiredforsound · 02/05/2021 21:01

Nope. Tim Minchin sums it up perfectly.

Guavafish · 02/05/2021 21:02

Yes

ChaBishkoot · 02/05/2021 21:02

I don’t know about love at first sight. I fancied DH the first time I met him. He didn’t fancy me btw then. It was not instantaneous for him. We became friends. Then began dating. We’ve been together 20+ years now.
Is he my soul mate? Maybe. We have a very very happy marriage but I can never tell if I may not have had the same with another person.

Original poster
RudeDudeToo · 02/05/2021 21:03

@AnaViaSalamanca 😻

@80sPadme that really is lovely to hear about

OP posts:
ChaBishkoot · 02/05/2021 21:07

We were also each other’s first serious relationships and I moved to America to be with him. I would also say that at different points we have (if we are both brutally honest) felt differently about each other (as in we have never ever come even close to breaking up but I know post partum I was too exhausted to think about our marriage). But actually he’s an awesome parent and it’s one of the things I love about him the most. Because we met when we were barely out of our teens it is genuinely hard to know what life would have been like with someone else.

LolaSmiles · 02/05/2021 21:12

I think there's soul mates, plural. We all have different elements to our personality and there's lots of people out there who we could gel with.

I often wonder if the myth of the one and only soul mate creates undue pressure on relationships as it's a huge expectation to have one person who is meant to meet all your needs.

Sideorderofchips · 02/05/2021 21:15

I did. I thought I was with my soul mate

Turns out whilst I thought he was my soul mate I apparently wasn't his

EATmum · 02/05/2021 21:21

Tim Minchin came into my mind too @Wiredforsound.

duodunical · 02/05/2021 21:25

I've been happily married to someone who's not my soulmate for donkey's years.

The longer we're married, the less soul matey he becomes.

oohmyback · 02/05/2021 21:27

I have one that I let go! Fireworks when I first met him but he had commitment issues and I finished it (after 6 years!). Hardest thing I've ever done! Still get butterflies when I see him tbh. I met him when I was 17 so I think the emotions were HUGE.

Now I've been married for 16 years and yes he is my soulmate. He's a massive twat but I've never met anyone else I'd have spent 16+ years with! I went out with him at school and we got back together mid 20s. Was definitely another fireworks moment. I miss those days lol. Now he just does loud farts in the en suite.

BasinHaircut · 02/05/2021 21:28

No not soul mates in the sense that you are talking about.

I think relationships are, and can only be a product of circumstance. Don’t get me wrong I love my DH and as someone else says above he is my ‘person’, but I’m sure someone else would have been sufficient had I never met him Grin

PussGirl · 02/05/2021 21:29

My first serious boyfriend I thought might be a soulmate, but he was already ahead of the game in his head, and dumped me once his opportunities expanded.

My ex husband thought I was his "best friend" but I never got it - he was abusive and controlling and it took me many years to get away.

I think my current DP is a soulmate but it isn't something we ever touch upon. He just is.

sunnyzweibrucken · 02/05/2021 21:36

I had the one that got away. We met too young and were long distance so it didn’t work. But I haven’t met anyone else that I click with like I did with him. And I don’t think I will as I’ve dated quite a few men over the years and no one has been truly my person like he was. I figure the universe has told me I missed my chance and I’m destined to be alone the rest of my life...or just settle for someone so I won’t be alone lol

coodawoodashooda · 02/05/2021 21:40

No idea.

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