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Original poster

Do you believe in soul mates?

81 replies

RudeDudeToo · 02/05/2021 20:21

If you do, are you with your soul mate?
Or have you not found them or they're the one that got away?
Do you believe in love at first sight?

I don't believe in soul mates as I think through life you can meet several people who you could envisage a relationship with. I have got a "one that got away" but it doesn't haunt me and I have moved on. I do think we would have had a loving and fulfilling relationship which perhaps could have gone the distance.

I don't believe at love at first sight but definitely lust at first sight Grin

OP posts:
Babdoc · 02/05/2021 21:57

Yes - I married him! We had 16 wonderful years together, but he died 30 years ago, when our DC were babies.
I never remarried and still love and miss him. As a Christian, I hope to be reunited with him when I die.

marriednotdead · 02/05/2021 22:06

Yes I do. My inner romantic always wanted to believe but having had a fair few LTRs, I think I always settled because I didn’t think it would ever happen for me.

I met DP and it was it someone had listened to every wish I’d ever had for a relationship. Neither of us are perfect but we suit each other in a way I have never experienced.

For the first time in my life, I can honestly say that if he were to die first, I would never want there to be anyone else.

scoobydoo1971 · 02/05/2021 23:10

I would have scoffed a year ago about the notion of a 'soul mate'...but then I met him. It was love at first sight, mutually. In the worst timing of a lockdown, him living 100's of miles away and me being badly injured in an accident that nearly killed me...followed by the stress of treatment, some disability and major surgery...which also nearly killed me requiring further surgery, and more to come. Most sane men would have run for the hills with the logistics of it all. Instead, we tell each other how much we love each other daily, he is moving across the country to settle with me and I have never felt so calm or happy in a relationship. I am very sure he is the one man for me. Could not imagine being with someone else.

wanderedlonelyasacloud · 02/05/2021 23:15

No I don't believe in soul mates.

It's a romantic notion but I just don't believe in it.

I'm married and I love my husband with everything I have but do I believe that if we were to split up tomorrow at the grand old age of 28 that neither of us would ever fall in love again? Or that if we had never met that neither of us would never have found anyone? Nope

MadMadMadamMim · 02/05/2021 23:16

I think that logically there are probably a great many people in the world that could be your soul mate, rather than one single person. I'm married to someone I would absolutely describe as my soul mate. I love him more than anyone else in the world and can't bear to think of losing him after all our years together.

But I think if I'd never met him I'd probably have met someone else, equally suited to me, and I'd now feel the same about them.

Manzanilla55 · 03/05/2021 07:22

I have observed that soul mates are rare but they do exist. Hard but not impossible to find.

CrazyHorse · 03/05/2021 07:30

I don't believe there is one soulmate for each person, how can there be? We meet so few people out of the worlds current population. There must be other people out there we would live fantastic lives with.

I think it as love at fist sight for DH and me. It wasn't' lust for me, but he seemed pretty keen Grin He asked me to marry him after three days. We've been through lots of highs and lows over the past 25 years. He irritates me now more than when I first met him, but I love him pretty much the same as I did when I first met him. Just like I loved my babies when they were newborns and I love them now. Funnily enough they irritate me more these days too.

Chasingsquirrels · 03/05/2021 07:36

I don't believe in soul mates.
Late DH used to say I was his and I used to say it was tosh.
Regardless, I think he probably was (one of) mine.
I connected with him in a way I've never connected with anyone else.

SpringtimeSummertime · 03/05/2021 07:37

@duodunical

I've been happily married to someone who's not my soulmate for donkey's years.

The longer we're married, the less soul matey he becomes.

This made me smile! I am most definitely not with my soul mate! We have nothing in common and I have no idea what goes on in his head! Even when he explains something I haven’t a clue what he is talking about. But it must work somehow... 25 years together.
Lillypup · 03/05/2021 08:17

@RudeDudeToo

I know right? 😂 God I cringe when I think I believed that shit😂
That said, I do believe there is a someone out there for everyone.

HermioneWeasley · 03/05/2021 08:23

No, don’t be ridiculous. With a planetary population of 8 billion how would anyone ever find the 1 person in the world destined for you? It’s nonsense.

I do believe in love, I do believe in relationships deepening and strengthening over time.

didhr · 03/05/2021 08:54

Soul Mates - don’t believe in this. As the above poster said, what is the chance of finding your perfect match in a world of billions when you will only ever meet 0.000000000000001% of them! There are likely hundreds of people in your own town/City that you would be equally compatible with.

Love at First Sight - no ridiculous. You can’t love someone you know nothing about or have yet to speak to. I think some people mistake this for someone who you fancied at first sight and then got together with. You often knew them or knew of them.

Lust at irate sight, I totally agree with.

Tomyoneandonly · 03/05/2021 08:57

The only soul mates I know about are my shoes. Love at first sight is so overrated it's just a moment of capture. I love everyone at first sight. I just think lots of people are emotionally disturbed and weak. I'm a Christian so I view love differently.

Ladybug123 · 03/05/2021 09:01

No absolutely not.

I thought I was married to my soul mate.

He then had the most seedy affair with his ‘soul mate’.

He hates her now, I mean loathes her, thinks she’s just an awful human being. She is vocal enough via sm to tell us the same about him!

It’s laughable.

The damage they caused my children in the pursuit of this nonsense is irreversible.

This is used WAY too much as an excuse for infidelity.

We now believe in creating a healthy loving relationship where love is action based EVERY day!

Grumblesigh · 03/05/2021 09:08

No - it's a damaging concept. And I have been happily married to a wonderful man for more than 2 decades.

Queenofbeebers · 03/05/2021 10:43

There is a word that is used to describe that all consuming I must have you and love you forever but. I think it’s limeracy? Limerance?Confused

I was in a very, very unhappy marriage I met a man that I fell desperately in love with. We had 2 children together. He left me for someone else. It took me years and years to get over it.

Someone on mumsnet told me about this word. And it describes perfectly what I felt. And I thought he felt. I thought no one else could ever love him the way I did. This wasn’t true.

By accident about six years after splitting up. I bumped into someone i hadn’t seen for years in a pub. We were only vague acquaintances anyway.

We went out on a date, and after about four or five dates. I suddenly had this feeling of ‘oh there you are’. I am completely and utterly myself with my dh. He has seen the best and worst of me many times over.

Soul mates? No. But if he died tomorrow. I don’t think I would have another relationship. I wouldn’t want too. I think that would have been enough for me.

Skysblue · 03/05/2021 10:53

No. I think we meet several people throughout life who we’d be reasonably happy with, and then we chose one and adapt to each other.

Love at first sight no, but I do think it’s possible to assess many someone’s decisions in seconds (eg cool hair / met at voluntary work / well used walking boots / band tshirt / works out but not vain) and reaaaally like what you see

80sPadme · 03/05/2021 14:25

@Babdoc

Yes - I married him! We had 16 wonderful years together, but he died 30 years ago, when our DC were babies. I never remarried and still love and miss him. As a Christian, I hope to be reunited with him when I die.
I am so sorry that you lost him so young. I believe you will be with him again someday xx
Happylittlethoughts · 03/05/2021 15:28

No, there are lots of people out there you are compatible with yo various degrees.
The chances that you just so happen to meet " the soulmate" of your life in the limited radius of your life is ridiculous

Orla1970 · 03/05/2021 15:41

@oohmyback

I have one that I let go! Fireworks when I first met him but he had commitment issues and I finished it (after 6 years!). Hardest thing I've ever done! Still get butterflies when I see him tbh. I met him when I was 17 so I think the emotions were HUGE.

Now I've been married for 16 years and yes he is my soulmate. He's a massive twat but I've never met anyone else I'd have spent 16+ years with! I went out with him at school and we got back together mid 20s. Was definitely another fireworks moment. I miss those days lol. Now he just does loud farts in the en suite.

Hahaha. I thought I had knocked it off negotiating that my husband uses the main bathroom across the hall and I use the ensuite. Unfortunately I can still hear the loud farts etc. This morning I was woken by the loud farting/toileting. I shouted FFS Courtesy Flush! I’m actually thinking of getting the electrician to rig up Alexa so the radio goes on as soon as my husband puts a toe over the door of the bathroom, music starts playing, to drown out his very own very loud shitty orchestra 🤣💩🙉
osbertthesyrianhamster · 03/05/2021 15:46

No. Think that's all immature nonsense.

Derrymum123 · 03/05/2021 19:44

Yes I do ,but you may meet them at the wrong time in your life. But you can have a wonderful life with someone who you do respect and love. Just isn't 'the one' and you aren't soul mates. They can be great partners,fathers and lovers - if you try hard to make the relationship good.

Annamaywong25 · 03/05/2021 21:49

Spiritualists and those that believe in reincarnation believe that in each life "soul groups" will recognise each other when they meet again in their next carnation. I find the subject facinating, a bit like de ja vu, you remember a place/event but to your knowledge you've never been there before. I've certainly experienced this a few times.

Notreallysure25 · 04/05/2021 00:38

I don't believe in love at first sight, how can you truly love someone if you don't know them? Soulmates do exist but I think it's rare, you'd have to be very lucky!

hadtojoin · 04/05/2021 00:58

Not sure about the term 'soul mates' but when I met my now DH within 3 dates ( probably only about 8 hours with him in total ) I just knew he was the one I was going to marry. No doubt whatsoever. He also felt the same way and we are still happy together 30 years on.

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