2 months ago I told my partner I needed space. There was a lot going on in our relationship and I was struggling. I know that he finds it hard to give me space after we argue because he wants me close and feels like I'm pushing him away and that's a trigger for him. He said if he left that would be it because he needed a clean break. I said 'fine' in the heat of the moment and he left. And that's the last I heard from him.
At first I was being stubborn in not wanting to be the first one to reach out. I do admit it is usually him making the effort after an argument. But eventually I text him and he didn't reply. A couple of days later I called his mobile a few times and he didn't answer. Then I called his work and was told he wasn't available and they would pass a message on to call me.
I don't understand what is going on. I feel like he's punishing me. I know he said he was done in the heat of the moment but I didn't think he meant it. Is this his way of telling me it's over? How can you be so close and aparently in love with someone and then just completely cut them out your life like that?
What should I do?
Accept that it's over?
If he's done, why not just tell me? Why can't we have a conversation?
I'm so sad and I miss him so much, but at the same time hate him for doing this to me. His silence is driving me crazy. We were so close and our relationship was very physical (intimately). Now there is a big hole. I feel so hurt like our relationship was all a big lie because suddenly he's just over it? The good times were the best but there was a lot of messed up shit that happened. We were not in a good place and maybe our personalities just don't work together to be able to have a relationship. He's very intense, I have a bad temper.... but even if that's the case I just want to talk it over.
The only reason I haven't lost my dignity and turned up crying on his doorstep or at his office is because I'm so stubborn, but I fear I'm so close to loosing it....
Help