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Original poster

Is it weird to date a 21 year old when I'm 24?

52 replies

swanlakesteps · 27/04/2021 14:03

I'm seeing someone who's 21, I didn't think much of the age gap because we're fairly similar in maturity and life stage (we're both students on the same course), but one of my friends called me a cradle-snatcher and said it's creepy to be dating someone that young. I'm just wondering if it's generally considered weird? It's making me feel a little self- concious.

OP posts:
Trinacham · 27/04/2021 17:36

No!
I met DH when he was 17 (he was only a month away from turning 18) and I was 19. Now we're 28 and 30, has never been an issue to us.

Jamestheleast · 27/04/2021 17:39

A bit of a surprise to hear anyone voice critical comments these days.
During my 20s and later I dated several older women. Neither side sought that out. We just met at random and liked each other and went out for a while. Weeks to months.
The test for student relationships is often how they cope/change/adjust after college in their careers.

Have fun.

OpheliasCrayon · 27/04/2021 17:40

No . It seems a big age gap now maybe as you're young but give it a decade and it'll be nothing. I got together with my DH at your age and we are coming up being married for 8 years with 2 kids so it's not too young!

Isitreallyme77 · 27/04/2021 20:31

I was 24 when I got with my ex, he was 18. Not one person batted an eye lid. We were together for 14 years. 3 years age gap is nothing.

Ilovelove · 27/04/2021 21:17

My DH was 21 and I was 25 when we met. I really tried to not like him because of the age gap but...we were like magnets!! We got on so well...it has been a total non-issue for us. And 18 years later it’s the same except for an extra few stone between us!!

BrilliantBetty · 27/04/2021 21:19

It's fine.

A (facebook) friend of mine 35 is dating an 18 year old. Now that's inappropriate and a 'cradle snatcher'.

DungeonKeeper · 27/04/2021 21:28

3 years is not an age gap.

Bluesky5678 · 27/04/2021 22:09

I was 26 when I met my husband who was 24, so I don't think your age difference is significant at all! It's not like he's 16 and you're mid-20ies! You're both adults, so do what you want. I think your friend is just jealous. Please don't let him/her make you doubt yourself. If you like this guy, don't think the age difference is a lot because it's not!

ZaZathecat · 27/04/2021 22:11

No-one would have batter an eyelid if the ages were reversed.

PurplePinkParade · 27/04/2021 22:13

That's crazy, it's only a few years. My friend is 25 dating a 19 year old and we make the cradle snatcher comments to her jokingly, but in reality they're a lovely couple. He's 6'7 and she's tiny so he looks a lot older than he is. He's also eons more mature than her! Grin

Oppositely, I'm 25 and DP is 34. No one comments on our age gap really. Mentally I'm about 50 and he's about 12.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/04/2021 22:13

This "gap" is an issue? Confused

You need a new friend. They are very stupid.

DungeonKeeper · 27/04/2021 22:23

So if you were 31 and 34 would it be an issue? Doubt it.

BackforGood · 27/04/2021 22:31

Your friend is bonkers.
No issue.
No difference of life stage and barely any difference in actual age.

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 27/04/2021 22:40

Three years is nothing. Only important if one of the people is under 18 really, 21 and 24 is a non issue.

powershowerforanhour · 27/04/2021 22:45

I went out with a 19yo when I was 24. I think he got the occasional "hmm, older woman, you dark horse you" comment and a wink but it was all fine. We were in the same (very rural) big friendship group going to the same pubs and events...it was way out in the sticks but had quite a fun young community atmosphere and the age group of the friendship "gang" was very wide- teenagers to fellas in their 30s. There weren't any of the thirtysomething men trying to shag 16 or 17 year old girls or anything, it was just nice relaxed good times.

Alcemeg · 28/04/2021 08:58

I'd be a bit cautious if I were you. I mean, when you're 84 he'll be 81.

Based on experience, I'd say a height difference of more than an inch is the real killer in a relationship. You might not fit through the same doorways!

ithoughtisawapuddycat · 28/04/2021 09:00

I was 19 when I met my now husband, he was 24. There were 18 years between my grandparents. Total non issue on both counts.

Maggiesfarm · 28/04/2021 10:30

@powershowerforanhour

I went out with a 19yo when I was 24. I think he got the occasional "hmm, older woman, you dark horse you" comment and a wink but it was all fine. We were in the same (very rural) big friendship group going to the same pubs and events...it was way out in the sticks but had quite a fun young community atmosphere and the age group of the friendship "gang" was very wide- teenagers to fellas in their 30s. There weren't any of the thirtysomething men trying to shag 16 or 17 year old girls or anything, it was just nice relaxed good times.
That sounds perfectly fine.

I had a brief liaison with a nineteen year old chap when I was in my 20s and hated it. It seems so silly now when I look back, I didn't have to get into it, could have walked away but I allowed myself to be coerced, was put in a position that I couldn't cope with. Thank goodness I did manage to end it, it creeped me out. I think I'd have been creeped out by him even if he had been older than me!

It was a brief period of time in which I am not proud. It makes me feel squirmy/embarrassed when I remember it. I'm eternally grateful to have never bumped into him (or his manipulative mother), since.

19 is adult, 21 is certainly adult and 20s are young. A small age gap is negligible.

wishywashy6 · 28/04/2021 10:41

I'm 39 and my OH is 28 🤷🏼‍♀️ We've been together 3 years, live together and in the process of buying a house.
We don't notice the age gap.

Your friend is being ridiculous

TweeterandtheMonkeyman · 28/04/2021 10:57

Same age as me and DH were when we met! We were both students as well. Never been an issue except it’s annoying when I cross into the next decade (30,40) and he’s still a young thing Grin

BurtonHouse · 28/04/2021 12:57

Utter cobblers.
When DH and I got together nearly 40 years ago he was 21 and I was 29, and the age gap, such as it is, has never been an issue of any kind.
Although I do now wish that he was of an age to retire like me so that we could spend more time together.

Snozwanger · 28/04/2021 13:09

I was 20 when I met my 17 year old boyfriend. We're now married and been together for 20 years!

Bells3032 · 28/04/2021 13:11

When we met my DH was 25 and I was 29. It was quite a surprise as most guys i'd dated had been 8-10 years older than me. Age is just a number it's more about where you are in life and both of your maturity levels

Onthedunes · 28/04/2021 15:20

@Alcemeg

I agree, 84 and 81, they will be the talk of the nursing home !

AryaStarkWolf · 28/04/2021 15:26

There's a bigger age gap between me and my DH, 4.5 years and I never really considered that an "age gap" kind of a situation so no it's not weird at all, your friend is weird