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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

If your DP/DH is a police officer...

121 replies

crochetmonkey74 · 24/04/2021 20:39

Is it a commonly held belief that policemen are notoriously womanisers etc? I'm dating and one of my matches is in the police , 3 seperate people have said to me "ooh no they are all known for having affairs etc" I am 46 and have never heard this before in my life! I obviously know that not all people in one job act the same , I am not saying I believe it but is this a thing that people think?

OP posts:

CharlotteRose90 · 25/04/2021 18:49

Oh no. I’ve dated 3 police officers haha no idea why and yep all 3 cheated with work colleagues. Police officers are notorious for work affairs and cheating. Also Most of them become obsessed with the job and big headed. I wouldn’t date one again for sure.

CharlotteRose90 · 25/04/2021 18:51

@Fashio

Them and pilots.

Hahaha yes I work for an airline and the pilots are just as bad as police. Married for 20 years and sleeping with every crew member they can.

joystir59 · 25/04/2021 19:02

I knew a CID once who was definitely a womaniser.

thebestnamehere · 25/04/2021 19:12

Most are bastards yes

Borntobeamum · 25/04/2021 19:13

My DH was a police officer for 30 years.
I’d bet my life and contents of our savings account that he was 100%honest and faithful.
We’ve been happily married 38 years and plan on making it many more.
We have quite a few ex colleagues of his who are also still happily married but we do know many who have taken advantage of ‘over time’ and played away but I’m Well aware that other professions can do the same.

Canoenewbie · 25/04/2021 19:17

"My DH was a police officer for 30 years.
I’d bet my life and contents of our savings account that he was 100%honest and faithful.
We’ve been happily married 38 years and plan on making it many more"

My friend would have said the same. So would everyone who worked with him. Totally gobsmacked when it came out, seemed a nice guy, just good at hiding it! Never bet your life on something

Lollypop4 · 25/04/2021 19:22

ExH was detective.
He was v.careful but I do believe he had affairs during our 13yrs together.

Sosigsandwich · 25/04/2021 19:27

Yep. Cheating is absolutely rife in the force. I went to a wedding with my ex-p and the groom was having an affair else on their team. Common knowledge. Vile.

SummerHouse · 25/04/2021 19:33

@user113424742258631134

There is a disproportionate number of domestic abusers in the police, who are shielded from consequences by their colleagues.

They would lose their job for shielding a colleague. This is not the problem as I see it. It's how a victim feels about reporting abuse to her place of work, often against a partner also in the job. Thankfully there are processes in place to report to another force.

Fashio · 26/04/2021 06:03

Pilots are literally appalling. Easy way to shag innit.

Fashio · 26/04/2021 06:04

@MiddlesexGirl

Have worked in teaching and had teacher friends for many years and have found the opposite .... very few affairs, no abuse.

I’d say very few in education too.

chillijamjam · 26/04/2021 07:17

Yes. I would never have dreamt my ex would ever cheat. Joined the police and there was a change of mindset. It's widely accepted within the force and 'normalised' as far as I can see.

harknesswitch · 26/04/2021 07:32

I only know one police officer and she cheated on her dh and isn't a nice person all round really

MsMiaWallace · 26/04/2021 07:35

Worked with the police for a long time.
I would say yes most do have affairs. Not all but most.

Peace43 · 26/04/2021 07:54

My sister is a cop and yes, she regularly tells me that her force is full of womanisers! There are exceptions of course but I’d not date a cop.

GelfBride · 26/04/2021 08:03

It's true but it doesn't do to tar everyone with the same brush in life does it?

Divebar2021 · 26/04/2021 11:35

Most cops do not have affairs.... that’s absolutely not the case.

Icequeen01 · 26/04/2021 18:26

@thebestnamehere

Most are bastards yes

Amazing that you know all 130,000 police officers in the uk personally!

Tocktickclick · 26/04/2021 18:49

I'm married to a retired detective Sargent. I adore the very bones of him. He's never cheated (as far as I'm aware) The hours were very long though and he was rarely off duty. Basically unless he was on leave he had his job phone with him and on at all times.

Deathraystare · 27/04/2021 11:14

My poor brother was cheated on by his 1st and 2nd wives both times policemen were involved. One was an ex policeman.:(

Thatisnotwhatisaid · 27/04/2021 11:21

Yeah, my friend is a police officer and she had an affair with her married sergeant. To my surprise he left his wife (and child) for her after a year long affair. I didn’t think he’d actually leave her, he fed my friend the standard BS about it being a sexless loveless marriage. I thought a lot less of my friend after this and barely speak to her now, she’s still with him 6 years on.

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