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Original poster

Would you go on this date? Red flags ?

376 replies

walkigonsuncc · 22/04/2021 23:20

I started talking to a guy a week ago and we have a date arranged tomorrow (meal and drinks)
He has been annoying me past couple of days ..I don't know if I'm just being picky.
Some of the things he has said...

I like a woman who makes a effort to impress her man,nice hair,nice nails,always looks her best.
Would you kiss on a first date? Do you think I have nice lips.

Then he went on to say tonight (trying to flirt I think)
What's your plans tomorrow?anything fun(wink face)
So I just replied "washing my hair ha ha"
He replied ...
"Oh you washing that hair to impress me,are you painting your nails too?"

I replied yes ...
Then he replied "are you doing that to impress me"

Then I just mentioned my friend is booked into same restaurant next week and she's asked me to take a couple of pics of the food

He text "oh so your only meeting me to get pics for your friend"
"I bet you will be making a run for it half way through"

Then asking if I'm wearing a dress for him

Is he just too much?
He's irritating me a bit ..
I haven't really dated In years ..is this normal ?

OP posts:
Chocaholic9 · 23/04/2021 11:12

@walkigonsuncc

He told me he has take a days leave today so he can get sharp. Hair and beard trim

I don't know why he has made it so intense.
Asking me if I'm going to kiss him..well mate no I'm not.
I go with the flow.
No expectations
Your a stranger.

There has to be better out there surely ?

There definitely is better out there. Your expectations are normal ones... His are not.

I once matched on Tinder with a guy who had no pictures of his actual face (by accident...was swiping too fast.) He sent me a first message thanking me for the match and saying that he's so happy I found him attractive (his pics were mostly of sunsets?) Then talked about smooching and physical stuff in his first message. The guys who do that are primarily looking for a shag.

Winterbaby21 · 23/04/2021 11:14

You are under no obligation to give him an explanation OP, but if you want to then just tell him what you've told off. You found the things he was saying to be very off putting and thus have decided not to waste either of your time.

Winterbaby21 · 23/04/2021 11:14

What you've told us* rather.

RealisticSketch · 23/04/2021 11:15

Maybe need a lovely guy who is genuinely baffled or maybe he wants to know your reasons so he can talk you round by making your concerns seem inconsequential.
This isn't for me is all you need to say.

RealisticSketch · 23/04/2021 11:15

Need = he's

Kingdombythesea · 23/04/2021 11:15

Yuk no way

HaveringWavering · 23/04/2021 11:16

@walkigonsuncc

I think he is really insecure. He text this morning saying I had been quiet was I ditching him.

I just explained I didn't think we were a match and good luck
He has asked for a explanation

I'm keeping my reservation for tonight and going with a friend instead

Well done!

You don’t think he’ll turn up anyway?!

CeibaTree · 23/04/2021 11:19

Glad you have cancelled OP, he sounds really creepy. Maybe that's just nerves or something, but it's so icky!

Cassilis · 23/04/2021 11:21

The replies on this thread need a 'like' button.[..] MNHQ can we please get a like button???

No, they don't. They really don't. MNHQ, will you please never, ever even consider getting something as childish and pointless as a "like" button?

I agree. All that will happen is people will downvote posters that they have disagreed with on another threads.

Even if there is only an upvote option, the popularity contest will still be obvious.

AffableApple · 23/04/2021 11:22

@nolovelost

Absolutely not! I hate it when men do this. I've blocked many that start talking like this before a date. Puts you off big time!
If you want a nice night out, have one with a mate. Do your hair, paint your nails, and have dinner with someone you know you'll have a great evening with. Thee guys are ten a penny on dating apps, so please don't waste your time. He's already shown you who he is; he ain't gonna magically change IRL. I wish you all the best. This guy ain't it.
Runway · 23/04/2021 11:23

Being nervous doesn’t make you a misogynistic idiot. Why do you need to impress him? What a stupid, gross fuck.

bangheadhere40 · 23/04/2021 11:29

If you are feeling kind you coukd say some of the things he's said have shown you that you are incompatible. Don't explain further though.

CattingTime · 23/04/2021 11:30

Tell him the truth, that his comments were sleazy and misogynistic. He needs to know.

Lweji · 23/04/2021 11:31

Next time, call it off at anything similar to I like a woman who makes a effort to impress her man,nice hair,nice nails,always looks her best.

BTW, you're not over at 35 by any means.

kittycat863 · 23/04/2021 11:32

Ew. No. No explanation needed.

TheWaif · 23/04/2021 11:32

Don't ever give them an explanation. Don't give them the opportunity to hide their red flags from the next person.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 23/04/2021 11:32

@walkigonsuncc

I think he is really insecure. He text this morning saying I had been quiet was I ditching him.

I just explained I didn't think we were a match and good luck
He has asked for a explanation

I'm keeping my reservation for tonight and going with a friend instead

He's THIRTY-SIX, not 16. He's an adult who behaves like a sexist pig. As for the sob story, that's just what it is, a guilt trip. You don't owe him ANY explanation at all. You owe him nothing, he's some random on a dating site. You give him any explanation at all he'll use it to twist you round and manipulate you. Fuck that. Block and delete. As for 'ditching' him, you weren't even going out, haven't been out once, were just chatting online.

He's not insecure, he's a sexist prat.

Sandra15 · 23/04/2021 11:43

Yes! I would go just for the laugh and to see what he was like, but no way would I take him seriously or see him again. It will just confirm what a sleazeball he is! Worth it for the lolz but that's it!

Whatisthisfuckery · 23/04/2021 11:46

Just tell him you aren’t feeling it. Don’t give him any hints so he avoids pre-warning other women about what a creepy fucker he is. You’d be doing the heterosexual women of the world a disservice if you gave this slime any tips.

His ‘I bet you’re going to run off half way through omment’ is because other women have. Don’t for god’s sake help the sleazebag with his acting skills. Women need to know what he’s like, and the earlier the better.

littlepattilou · 23/04/2021 11:46

Run like the wind!

katy1213 · 23/04/2021 11:50

Complete moron. Don't spend an evening squirming, get out now.

Chocaholic9 · 23/04/2021 11:52

I agree; best not to give him feedback. It's good that he waves his red flags to the women on the dating website. You don't want to give him any tips on concealing his personality

Novelusername · 23/04/2021 11:59

In my experience, insecure men can be the worst for abusive, controlling behaviour, so it's hardly something you should be lured in by out of pity anyway.

VodkaSlimline · 23/04/2021 12:04

@walkigonsuncc

He said his ex wife cheated and left him

I feel a bit sorry for him in that respect

They always slag off their exes! You have dodged a bullet.
SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/04/2021 12:08

@TheWaif

Don't ever give them an explanation. Don't give them the opportunity to hide their red flags from the next person.
That's just what I think.

The next woman he contacts needs to see them waving in the wind, too.

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