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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ladies Would You Believe Him?

93 replies

mumofoneuk · 10/04/2021 02:12

I’ve been a silent lurker on here for years but this is the first time posting, and I’d really appreciate your advice.

So I’ve been dating this guy for several months and I’m in love with him. Problem is, in the past, my love has blinded me, I’ve ignored red flags and ended up wasting years. I don’t want to do that again. But as I’m in love.... I’m not sure I can see the wood for the trees 😕

So my guy has always been very active on Instagram. We actually met on there. I’ve always been suspicious of his online activities, but he repeatedly tells me that I’m the only woman he’s ever messaged and met up with from there. And I believed him.

So last week, an ‘acquaintance’ of mine, tells me she’s talking to a guy on Instagram and he sounds like the guy I’ve described. I didn’t believe her, so she sends me the screenshots and yes, it’s him! She’s now annoyed, thinking this dude is a player, so she tries to see how far he’d be willing to go. She gives him a few compliments, sends a pic in her bikini, tells him she’d like to have sex with him, and that’s ALL it took for him to give her his number and ask her to contact him on whattsapp!! Then on whattsapp, he asks her to tell him more about herself and to send him some more sexy pics!! He also asks if they can speak on the phone that evening. She asks him if he’s single, and he says YES!!

When I saw the screenshots my heart literally broke! I tell him I know what he’s done and it’s over! Since then, he’s been calling and messaging me, so I spoke to him, and he apologised for hurting me, but swears blind that he thought she was just a scam artist and he was just playing a long with it to expose her!!

He was in a marriage previously for 20yrs and his ex wife is adamant that he never cheated. So he says, why would he start now, with someone who he’s inlove with?

I honestly want to believe him. But I’m stuck. I just keep thinking, why say you’re single?! Why ask for more pics?!

I honestly don’t know what to think. But if he is being truthful, I don’t want to end a potentially amazing relationship over a silly mistake he made.

What do you guys think?

OP posts:
MadMadMadamMim · 10/04/2021 02:14

I think you're an idiot to even be considering this.

Get some self respect and block him.

Coving · 10/04/2021 02:15

Of course I wouldn’t believe him. ‘I was leading her on because I thought it was a scam’ is an insanely lame excuse.

frogface69 · 10/04/2021 02:15

Hell, no. NO
Run for the hills.

BaggoMcoys · 10/04/2021 02:17

He's lying. Why would he want to be spending his time catching out scammers online? Why was he chatting to a woman online anyway, before it even the reached the stage that he "thought she was a scam artist"?

All sounds like lies. Maintain your dignity and don't believe him.

TreadLightly3 · 10/04/2021 02:19

So sorry OP but it’s just not plausible. I hope you find someone decent soon

Susannahmoody · 10/04/2021 02:20

He sounds like a great guy

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/04/2021 02:20

In other news, mum they are my friend's cigarettes and her mum wouldn't be super cool about it like you. Also, I fell asleep and missed curfew. Durr.

occa · 10/04/2021 02:22

He's not a nice bloke, he's a cheating, lying scumbag. You can't believe anything he says. Not for 1 second.

occa · 10/04/2021 02:23

Urgh, school holidays. Of course. Forgot. Hmm

Russell19 · 10/04/2021 02:24

@MrsTerryPratchett

In other news, mum they are my friend's cigarettes and her mum wouldn't be super cool about it like you. Also, I fell asleep and missed curfew. Durr.
😂
avamiah · 10/04/2021 02:26

Is your post fake as it sounds it ?

Grimsknee · 10/04/2021 02:27

"He was in a marriage previously for 20yrs and his ex wife is adamant that he never cheated. So he says, why would he start now, with someone who he’s inlove with?"
Huh? Is that from the ex wife's own mouth to you ears? How do you know her, and how does she know with such certainty?
Or is he telling you that his ex wife is adamant he never cheated?

In any case, sounds like he's cheating now.

avamiah · 10/04/2021 02:28

occa,
lol , yeah.

VettiyaIruken · 10/04/2021 02:33

Yeah, he's full of shit and he thinks you're stupid and/or desperate.

Coving · 10/04/2021 02:37

Oh, and the dog ate my homework.

1forAll74 · 10/04/2021 02:49

You are probably infatuated with him, not in love with him. He sounds like a player, and guys who want women to send them sexy pictures are all kinds of rubbish,, and not to be trusted by any women..

Windmillwhirl · 10/04/2021 02:55

Oh good grief, if you'd believe that you will believe anything op.

TLxx · 10/04/2021 06:20

*I think you're an idiot to even be considering this.

Get some self respect and block him.*

I echo this. Get this arsehole to fuck and don't go against your instincts again.

Sally2791 · 10/04/2021 06:24

He’s scum, don’t believe a word.

LyndaMcLynda · 10/04/2021 06:47

OMG HUN

custardbear · 10/04/2021 06:49

If this is real - ffs get a grip, he's scum

CloudFormations · 10/04/2021 06:53

You would be mad to believe him even for a second. Don’t ignore the most vivid Scarlett flag there has ever been.

MazekeenSmith · 10/04/2021 06:55

You're trying to convince yourself that he's telling the truth but you know he's not.

Diesse · 10/04/2021 07:04

🚩🚩🚩 RUN AWAY !

Mumoblue · 10/04/2021 07:09

Uh, no, I wouldn’t believe him.

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