Ladies Would You Believe Him?

[mumofoneuk]

I’ve been a silent lurker on here for years but this is the first time posting, and I’d really appreciate your advice.

So I’ve been dating this guy for several months and I’m in love with him. Problem is, in the past, my love has blinded me, I’ve ignored red flags and ended up wasting years. I don’t want to do that again. But as I’m in love.... I’m not sure I can see the wood for the trees 😕

So my guy has always been very active on Instagram. We actually met on there. I’ve always been suspicious of his online activities, but he repeatedly tells me that I’m the only woman he’s ever messaged and met up with from there. And I believed him.

So last week, an ‘acquaintance’ of mine, tells me she’s talking to a guy on Instagram and he sounds like the guy I’ve described. I didn’t believe her, so she sends me the screenshots and yes, it’s him! She’s now annoyed, thinking this dude is a player, so she tries to see how far he’d be willing to go. She gives him a few compliments, sends a pic in her bikini, tells him she’d like to have sex with him, and that’s ALL it took for him to give her his number and ask her to contact him on whattsapp!! Then on whattsapp, he asks her to tell him more about herself and to send him some more sexy pics!! He also asks if they can speak on the phone that evening. She asks him if he’s single, and he says YES!!

When I saw the screenshots my heart literally broke! I tell him I know what he’s done and it’s over! Since then, he’s been calling and messaging me, so I spoke to him, and he apologised for hurting me, but swears blind that he thought she was just a scam artist and he was just playing a long with it to expose her!!

He was in a marriage previously for 20yrs and his ex wife is adamant that he never cheated. So he says, why would he start now, with someone who he’s inlove with?

I honestly want to believe him. But I’m stuck. I just keep thinking, why say you’re single?! Why ask for more pics?!

I honestly don’t know what to think. But if he is being truthful, I don’t want to end a potentially amazing relationship over a silly mistake he made.

What do you guys think?

Are you for real you've SEEN it with your own eyes, why on earth would you listed to what he SAYS. Nobody is this naive surely...

Come on now OP ffs - Wakey wakey 😳

*listen

He didn’t come across like a player

They rarely do unless they're a bit dense or think the woman has low self esteem and will put up with it.

I would also get yourself tested as it sounds as if he will chance his luck with anyone who entertains him. Garbage OP, bin him.

You'd have to be incredibly gullible, naive and lacking in self-respect to believe this guy.
Sorry OP.

If he’s recently out of a long marriage he wants to play the field ..... probably have lots of sex with as many women as he can. I’m sure he does like you but probably should have met you later down the line when he was ready to settle down again ( if at all)

Obviously lying, he has been caught red handed.

Know your worth!

Cut all ties and move on.

Best advice you are going to get is to listen to your gut.....

Not your heart.

How awful for you but he’s clearly a cheat and a not very good liar!

If you believe this I’d like to introduce you to my Nigerian Prince friend who needs to get £37,000,000 out of his country and will put in your bank account if you send me your account details.

Joking aside, if he did this with your friend on a dating app, she’s very likely not the only one.

Get out of there whilst it’s still early days.
His ex wife just never caught him cheating, that’s something else then ‘he has never cheated during their marriage’.

And even if he hadn’t, he has changed for the worst apparently and he’s doing it now to you. Invest your time in therapy to see how come you are willing to accept this instead of overthinking if you want him back.
There’s nothing to overthink about.
This guy is a lying piece of scum and you’re well rid of him.

The fact tgat his ex wife doesn't know about his cheating is not the evidence that he didn't cheat.
The guy is a player.

Red flag. The man is a liar.

You're thinking of going for counselling with a middle aged man you met on Instagram a few months ago?

This ^^

I can see you are really blinded by love or the illusion of love. This a such a HUGE red flag! Run and don't look back!

He was in a marriage previously for 20yrs and his ex wife is adamant that he never cheated.

How do you know his ex wife?

I think in the majority cases the most plausible explanation is the right one. I think it's more likely he was looking to cheat on you then it is likely that he was trying to expose her as a scam artist.

So not only is he (IMO) a potential cheat and scum bag but also he's lying to you.

Stay with him and you will never be able to trust him again.

Why are you asking this ridiculous question. You know the answer