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Original poster

Ladies Would You Believe Him?

93 replies

mumofoneuk · 10/04/2021 02:12

I’ve been a silent lurker on here for years but this is the first time posting, and I’d really appreciate your advice.

So I’ve been dating this guy for several months and I’m in love with him. Problem is, in the past, my love has blinded me, I’ve ignored red flags and ended up wasting years. I don’t want to do that again. But as I’m in love.... I’m not sure I can see the wood for the trees 😕

So my guy has always been very active on Instagram. We actually met on there. I’ve always been suspicious of his online activities, but he repeatedly tells me that I’m the only woman he’s ever messaged and met up with from there. And I believed him.

So last week, an ‘acquaintance’ of mine, tells me she’s talking to a guy on Instagram and he sounds like the guy I’ve described. I didn’t believe her, so she sends me the screenshots and yes, it’s him! She’s now annoyed, thinking this dude is a player, so she tries to see how far he’d be willing to go. She gives him a few compliments, sends a pic in her bikini, tells him she’d like to have sex with him, and that’s ALL it took for him to give her his number and ask her to contact him on whattsapp!! Then on whattsapp, he asks her to tell him more about herself and to send him some more sexy pics!! He also asks if they can speak on the phone that evening. She asks him if he’s single, and he says YES!!

When I saw the screenshots my heart literally broke! I tell him I know what he’s done and it’s over! Since then, he’s been calling and messaging me, so I spoke to him, and he apologised for hurting me, but swears blind that he thought she was just a scam artist and he was just playing a long with it to expose her!!

He was in a marriage previously for 20yrs and his ex wife is adamant that he never cheated. So he says, why would he start now, with someone who he’s inlove with?

I honestly want to believe him. But I’m stuck. I just keep thinking, why say you’re single?! Why ask for more pics?!

I honestly don’t know what to think. But if he is being truthful, I don’t want to end a potentially amazing relationship over a silly mistake he made.

What do you guys think?

OP posts:
YoniAndGuy · 10/04/2021 13:03

For God's sake OP!

savethatkitty01 · 10/04/2021 13:05

He's a lying scumbag. Sorry. It's likely the ex wife never knew of the cheating during their time together (though I'm certain he was).

Original poster
mumofoneuk · 10/04/2021 13:07

Wow. Not one of you is saying to give him the benefit of doubt......so I obviously am delusional for even entertaining his excuses 😕 Thank you all so much.
Yes, I do love him because up until now things have been good. We talk on the phone every single evening for hours. He didn’t come across like a player.
He said he’s prepared to go see a counsellor with me.....but there’s probably no point. 😥

OP posts:
Original poster
mumofoneuk · 10/04/2021 13:09

I wish it was made up 😕 Sadly it’s true. And the pain I feel is real. But yes. I now know what to do. Thank you for responding.

OP posts:
Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 10/04/2021 13:11

I wouldn't believe him. I've had scammers try stuff and occasionally gone along to waste their time but it would never get to the stage in your scenario. He's a liar.

imalmostthere · 10/04/2021 13:15

A counsellor after a few months 😂😂😂

He's not arsed and he's probably shagging several girls from Instagram. He very may well not have cheated on his wife, but he's certainly enjoying his new life by the sounds of it.
Please don't be this delusional.

Shooshybobs · 10/04/2021 13:37

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

Run run run like your tampon string is on fire! 🔥

GrinGrinGrin

I wish you could 'like' comments on here Grin😂😂😂
FTEngineerM · 10/04/2021 13:48

Didn’t even read past he gave his number after she said she was up for sex!

Damn women really set a low bar for themselves 🙄

2bazookas · 10/04/2021 13:50

You're a gullible idiot.

Has his exwife spoken to you in person and told you he never cheated?

Or is that what he told you.

Imjustsootired · 10/04/2021 15:06

Your acquaintance was one of many many women he tried it on with via insta, I can assure you of that....

Lying twat. X

Moonface123 · 10/04/2021 15:38

You said you had always been suspicious of his online activity.
You need to listen to your intuition, it's there for a reason.
I would take some time working on why you attract and are attracted to these type of men. He's proved himself to be utterly unreliable, why bring someone like that into your life. The red flags in the beginning are normally the reason for the relationship failing further on down the line.

BrilliantBetty · 10/04/2021 15:45

He's an idiot. And a liar.
Lucky you found out now.
Be strong and cut all contact, do what you have to to move on.

Yetmorecrap · 10/04/2021 16:33

OP, I’m sure the guy liked you a lot, I don’t think that was fake, the issue is I think after20 years in a marriage hes got hooked on the buzz of contacting others and others contacting him— and doesn’t want to stop it— he simply wants to have his cake and eat it. I know a lady like this in her 40’s. She thinks she wants a relationship but what she really likes is the lead up/the chase, the feeling wanted. I think it’s easy to get hooked on it. He isn’t the guy for you

Gumandbass · 10/04/2021 16:49

U woz neva exclusive innit

Dervel · 10/04/2021 16:50

Let me get this straight his excuse was he thought it was a scam so he played along by giving them MORE of his contact details!? He must think you are stupid for that to work.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 10/04/2021 16:53

Please dont invest any more time or emotion in him. You are worth far more than this.

BlueDahlia69 · 10/04/2021 17:54

Yes, I do love him because up until now things have been good.

things were only good because you were blissfully unaware, of all the other women he's been sniffing around online.

Credit to your friend, at least she had your back, and did the right thing.

You on the other hand need to seek therapy alone to repair your low self esteem and low self worth you have that allows you to even consider seeing this cretin again.

He's an online bloodhound .. sniffing out anything and everything 🙄

jessstan2 · 10/04/2021 18:02

@MadMadMadamMim

I think you're an idiot to even be considering this.

Get some self respect and block him.

Yes.

You will meet someone else.

Tinkling · 10/04/2021 18:06

He’s a liar.

BlueDahlia69 · 10/04/2021 18:14

You will meet someone else.

Absolutely, you will, and they will deserve you

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 10/04/2021 18:57

Why would his ex wife be adamant that he never cheated?

Skyla2005 · 10/04/2021 19:03

His a liar face the facts and stop being a fool to even consider otherwise

ferando81 · 10/04/2021 19:11

His ex wife might not have known he had cheated .You thought he was perfect too until this opened your eyes .

NurseButtercup · 10/04/2021 19:17

Problem is, in the past, my love has blinded me, I’ve ignored red flags and ended up wasting years.

And you're still ignoring the red flags that are waving in your face.

booboo24 · 10/04/2021 22:47

My partner got a scam Facebook message from a woman saying to 'click here to see her without her underwear'! He showed me and deleted it, we both laughed, end of. That's how you deal with a scam message! Of course he's lying to you. I'm really sorry op