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Original poster

Am I too suspicious?

102 replies

Caffeineprincess · 08/04/2021 14:17

Ok so I have been through a couple of mills and do not want a repeat.

I've been with this guy since the end of July last year. It been for the most part pretty lovely. We see each other every other day, met each others kids, always talk on the phone, have keys to each others houses etc etc.

But I've noticed a few things. he gets lots of work calls but quite often when its a womans name on display he wont pick up while I'm there, although he picks up most other calls. Sometimes these calls are pretty late, due to the nature of his job not unusual but still I don't have men calling me at say 11.30pm unless emergency...

I've noticed he also has some women's names saved with the fire emoji next to it.

And yesterday he removed a tag of himself of a post I put on facebook, thanking various people in my life as had a bit of a crazy start to the year. This tag was there since feb but it disappeared yesterday and when I asked him he got very angry and defensive and said it wasn't him and he doesn't know how it happened. He has since deleted Facebook. ( although I know this has to be a lie)

he also had tinder installed on his ipad still a while ago, I asked him about it and he deleted it but got annoyed at me that I asked about it.

I have also had someone create a fake facebook profile and message me about him.

Whenever I try and talk to him about it, he gets annoyed and angry, says I do not trust him and then says he will spend less time with me and keep his weekends to himself from now on or he'd be happier single and similar.

Ok so fair enough when I saw he removed the tag ( pathetic I know) I did get angry and raised my voice a bit, but didnt swear or say anything rude. we had a couple of arguments. But I apologised for my reaction and he accepted it but refused to come a visit me that night as planned.

He has had issues with me and can be very aggy and rude. I feel like I'm always apologising.

I do love him, and do want to give him the benefit of the doubt but would any of you question the above?

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 09/04/2021 08:21

So what's the plan now?

He's clearly a liar who isn't in a monogamous relationship with you.

So take control. What's your plan?

rainbowstardrops · 09/04/2021 08:34

What a cheating liar! You're better off chucking this one back in the water

SleepySundays · 09/04/2021 08:35

You’d have to be pretty silly to get all these signs and not work out he’s a liar.
Why would someone steal some ordinary guy’s picture when they could use a model’s picture as their tinder profile.
Don’t let him take you for a fool

Journeynotdestination · 09/04/2021 08:39

When I found my sleazy ex on Tinder he said because he was so good looking Tinder sometime reactivated his profile without him knowing to get good looking guys on the site 😂. The shit these men come out with is ridiculous.
The trust is gone with this one OP, don’t do what I did & stay with him. I wasted another year in abject hell second guessing everything he said. Took me ages to get over it & his other sociopathic ways. You are worth so much more than this bullshit.

LittlestBoho · 09/04/2021 08:41

If anything you're not suspicious enough. Any one of those things in your OP would have had me telling him to sling his hook.

Please get your keys back and dump him. Don't listen to his "poor me, I was hacked! If you don't trust me you're a big meanie!" He's full of shit.

Original poster
Caffeineprincess · 09/04/2021 08:48

I’m figuring out my next move. My friend should have waited till he gave out a number or something more personal he can’t wriggle out of. Although she’s working on that.

I need my stuff and keys back.

I have had someone pretend to be me on a dating site before, but they changed my age and name, also I did some part time modelling so we’re those shots.

The geographical distance doesn’t lie.

Trying to work out what to do next.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 09/04/2021 08:51

@Caffeineprincess

I’m figuring out my next move. My friend should have waited till he gave out a number or something more personal he can’t wriggle out of. Although she’s working on that.

I need my stuff and keys back.

I have had someone pretend to be me on a dating site before, but they changed my age and name, also I did some part time modelling so we’re those shots.

The geographical distance doesn’t lie.

Trying to work out what to do next.

You are definitely ending the relationship with him though, yes?
Original poster
Caffeineprincess · 09/04/2021 08:54

Yes I have to

OP posts:
PerveenMistry · 09/04/2021 08:59

Why do you "love" such a weasel?

Who needs such strife and drama?

Original poster
Caffeineprincess · 09/04/2021 09:05

I like to see the good in people. And there’s always such a reasonable explanation. Also outside of this the relationship is very good. As I mentioned. We see each other most days, he helps me a lot, is very affectionate, we know each other’s kids etc etc

OP posts:
CombatBarbie · 09/04/2021 09:19

Then you intend to stay, you will be posting again in a few months with further evidence but as much as we will say end it, you won't. If you wish to stay in an unfaithful relationship, that is your choice of course but you are making a mistake.

Famousinlove · 09/04/2021 09:54

I'm guessing you weren't with him at the time your friend was getting these messages?

Original poster
Caffeineprincess · 09/04/2021 09:59

No

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 09/04/2021 10:38

@Caffeineprincess

I like to see the good in people. And there’s always such a reasonable explanation. Also outside of this the relationship is very good. As I mentioned. We see each other most days, he helps me a lot, is very affectionate, we know each other’s kids etc etc
Oh OP, it sounds like you're already unsure about ending it.

Listen, this guy is a dick. Read back your first post - there are so many red flags it's madness and he's still going!

You'll be so much happier either single or seeing someone decent rather than a man who acts like this and makes you feel like this.

It's really early in the relationship to have been so involved anyway with keys to places etc especially with kids. I think when you take a step back from it you'll be relieved it's over.

Seeing the good in people to the extent that when they behave badly you disregard that bad behaviour isn't healthy.

Washingtofold · 09/04/2021 10:46

Major red flags . Your really kidding yourself if you think he’s not cheating . Sorry . But it’s better to be realistic than keep letting him manipulate you

Washingtofold · 09/04/2021 10:47

You’re being played

AnyFucker · 09/04/2021 10:52

Trying to work out what to do next.

What more proof do you need ? Witnessing his dick entering another woman ?

He’s at it and has been all along. Please gather whatever is left of your dignity and tell him to fuck right off.

SleepySundays · 09/04/2021 10:55

@AnyFucker

Trying to work out what to do next.

What more proof do you need ? Witnessing his dick entering another woman ?

He’s at it and has been all along. Please gather whatever is left of your dignity and tell him to fuck right off.

😂
Famousinlove · 09/04/2021 12:05

@Caffeineprincess

No
So when he tells you he's always with you/talking to you and doesn't have the time to talk to other women it's a load of crap
Journeynotdestination · 09/04/2021 12:58

Be kind to the OP, this isn’t a TV soap opera. Sometimes it takes time to disengage. This is her life not an online drama.

SnowAllSpring · 09/04/2021 13:13

Next time, don't give keys to the house that you and your kids and all of your worldly goods are in, to someone you met a few months ago.

SleepySundays · 09/04/2021 13:25

He says he sees you nearly every day. He doesn’t see you everyday then? So there’s time to meet someone else for a hook up. He calls you every night - they’ve probably gone by then.
The person who contacted you on Facebook , did you ask her any more questions? I would if I were you.
With the tide of evidence I definitely wouldn’t be giving him the benefit of the doubt. In fact, he wouldn’t even get the chance to gaslight me.

WisnaeMe · 09/04/2021 13:31

@SnowAllSpring

Next time, don't give keys to the house that you and your kids and all of your worldly goods are in, to someone you met a few months ago.

totally agree

MsDogLady · 10/04/2021 07:40

Swearing on a loved one’s life/grave is a hallmark of a liar.

OP, there is a multitude of evidence that your BF is out there acting like a single man. He is on Tinder and is saving the women’s numbers. Your own friend even matched with and spoke to him. Women are calling, some late at night, but he won’t answer if you are there. Someone has warned you about him on Facebook.

And don’t forget the phantoms who removed your tag on FB and faked his Tinder profile. 🤔

When you ask reasonable questions, he manipulates you by blowing up and threatening to pull away to make you back off and apologize.

You are sabotaging your life and exposing your children to a lying con artist. He’s a user and a player. Gather your strength and take definitive action. Walk away asap.

OliveToboogie · 10/04/2021 08:11

More red flags than the Chinese army. Get rid. Sorry but he is playing you. He is a sleazy nob jockey. Get rid you are worth more than this. Horrible individual.