New boyfriend keeps talking about his ex's ...should I be worried?

[richierichiwish]

I'm starting to see a new guy and he talks about his ex's a lot.
Not just one but a lot of them.
We were just chatting on the sofa and he asked if I ever look up ex's on Facebook.
Then he showed me his ex and her new boyfriend.
Then showed me another girl and told me the story of how she seduced him.
Then he will show me another woman's photo and her new boyfriend etc etc

He can remember conversations with people he's just slept with and was telling me
"We had sex then chatted then had sex again"

This isn't quite right is it?
Why is he doing this ?
Ego maniac?

Err this is very strange. I wouldn't immediately shoot to calling him names if you don't know him all that well. He could just be completely oblivious to what is or isn't appropriate and not know his boundaries. Have you asked him why he brings them up so much?

Dump. He's trying to make you compare, either positively or negatively.

I haven't asked him as I don't really know what to say.
He told me one girl who he slept with wanted a relationship but he didn't and so she got married just to make him jealous.
Apparently now she's single she is texting him again (and he's texting her ) but has told me he hopes she doesn't get the wrong idea.

He's not making much of an effort to impress you is he.

Haha yeah you can all him an ego manic with that example! If you aren't comfortable with it, just say thanks but no thanks and move on. I really wouldn't put the effort into worrying about why he does it if its not going to end up anywhere. If you're just curious, next time he says something like that you could say something like "you mention your ex girlfriends a lot, why is that? Why do you think I need to know that?".

He's a twat. Try telling him to cut it out and if that doesn't work, bin him. Least you now know why he was single.

Annoying thing is I actually really like him but the constant talking about ex's and how he is hot property is really annoying me.

I'd also ask him why he has such a high opinion of himself. Guess you need to decide whether to stick with it to see if he changes or not.

I would stop wondering why he's doing this and start wondering why the fuck it hasn't stopped you seeing him!

Sounds a right narcissist.

Also sounds like narcissistic triangulation (when they use another party to make you feel like you alone 'arent enough').

Look, sometimes we get enthrawled by a pretty face... or a pretty lie... but it means nothing if the persons insides are rotten.

He’s insecure and trying to have you perceive him as some sort of ladies been, maybe it be impressed and feel lucky he has chosen you. It’s pretty pathetic.

He doesn’t seem promising. If you really like him and are determined to be with him, tell him very clearly it’s not the done thing to talk about exs.

Seriously if someone is telling you another woman got married 'just to make them jealous', they are seriously deluded. Run. The guy thinks his cock is golden.

Please don't be daft enough to keep seeing this twat. Run for your fucking life.

Red flags all over the shop. He's so insecure he needs not just constant attention from other women to validate himself. But needs you to know about it in order to prove to you he's worthy.

He's a future cheater.

He sounds about 16...

How old is he? 15?! If he is any older than that (and I hope he is!) then he's an deeply insecure twat who's trying to make you feel insecure so you run around after him like an idiot, trying to hang on to this "hot property." My suggestion would be run away as fast as possible.

He is 37 in June.
Divorced and 1 son who is 18.
Do you think it is him being really insecure then?

@richierichiwish

He is 37 in June. Divorced and 1 son who is 18. Do you think it is him being really insecure then?

Sorry why do you care why he is doing something that is at best insensitive and weird and at worst an effort to make you feel shit?

This isn't normal behaviour from him but it sounds like you're trying to work out a reason he does it so you can justify keeping seeing him to yourself.

He doesn't sound like much of a prize!

Have you slept with him op? He is trying to tell you thy has landed themselves with a stud...
Very unlikely so don't be fooled!!

Tell him you don't like it. If he carries on, get rid.

Bin him

Yeah we have slept together.
I think I'm just trying to understand where he's coming from and how he thinks it's appropriate.

I don't think it's necessarily a red flag as much as it is an indicator of some emotional immaturity, possibly due to being a father at a pretty young age.

I think I would give him a chance and next time he does it say something like "you do realise you're being quite strange with this behaviour don't you? So I'm going to ask you not to do it again"

There is nothing wrong with talking about past relationships in my opinion as long as it's a two way conversation and at the minute he's acting like a self absorbed teenager who needs to be pulled up.

If everything else feels good and you're enjoying it then stick with it, life is short.

@richierichiwish

Yeah we have slept together. I think I'm just trying to understand where he's coming from and how he thinks it's appropriate.

But what reason for him thinking it's appropriate means you should accept it?

I've dated people who have said sexist things and when they've said them I've stopped seeing them - because it doesn't matter why they said them or why they think it's justified, it isn't acceptable to me therefore I've ended things.

I think it's a bit worrying something is bothering you (rightly so, as it's thoughtless and mean) and you're trying to work out his motivation for telling you rather than questioning your own motivation for continuing dating him.

He should be on his best behaviour at the moment, it's new and he should be showing you his best self. This is it. Eek.

Imo it's a can't beat em join em scenario.. Start mentioning the size of your exes genitals..