No acknowledgment of Mother's day

[FiFTM]

I'm feeling a bit low this morning, I'm mum to a lovely 2yo boy and pregnant with our second child. My husband has not acknowledged the fact that it's mother's day in any way and I feel quite sad about it. Obviously my son has no idea, he made a card in nursery which was lovely but I was expecting a card and a "happy mother's day" today from my OH. I got a card made up for his mum, gave her a pressie yesterday as we wouldn't be seeing her today, so he didn't even have to focus on getting her anything. I was the one who got up with our son this morning, fed him, played with him... I just feel a bit let down. He had said during the week that he was trying to get a nice restaurant meal delivered today but couldn't get a response from the place, so I actually mentioned this today to see would it even prompt him to realise the day it was but no. This is just a bit of a rant here but I feel really let down. Probably pregnancy hormones too playing a role!

I think he probably thinks that as your son made a card in nursery for you that that is enough and I feel the same to be honest.

Why are you buying stuff for his mum though?

I got to get up at 6am with both DCs....as I always do, so he could have a lie in...

I waited....and waited....and made my own breakfast since nobody offered...

DSs and DH disappeared upstairs and reappeared five minutes later with a card they’d obviously filled out on the spot rather than putting in any forward planning and DH gave me a box of ‘Free From’ chocolates (I have exactly zero allergies), a third of which are chocolate orange which I hate with a passion, to the point that my hatred of chocolate orange is a running family joke.

And today is the fourth anniversary of my own mother’s death.

Suffice it to say I’m sat in the toilet having a little cry, but since no one else gives a shit or remembers I guess it’s just us OP.

Your child already made you a card. Why do you want another one?

You're being ridiculous.

You have a card from your child, im not sure what else you want tbh?

@Wtfkqtxnrkatxjrk what a dickhead response.

I would definitely say something. I bet you make the effort on Father's Day. Not much expecting a little gift and a card.

YANBU can understand why your a bit miffed!

Stop with organizing stuff for his mum. Please tell her that you love her, but you are no longer going to facilitate all the wife work for him, as he doesn’t value it, and he has disrespected you once too often.

Also no more Father’s Day, birthday, Christmas, etc for him. He’s a lazy, entitled oad.

OAF

@StephenBelafonte

I think he probably thinks that as your son made a card in nursery for you that that is enough and I feel the same to be honest.

Why are you buying stuff for his mum though?

This - he buys for his mum and he owns it - not you

I definitely wouldn't buy my partner's mum a gift on his behalf. I remind him that it's Mother's Day and for him to sort a card but it's on him to do it.

I would be miffed if I were you - doesn't take much to say Happy Mother's Day.

It can be disappointing. One year my partner didn't do anything and he couldn't understand why I was hurt. I felt let down because I do nearly everything for our child and a bit of acknowledgement for one day couldn't hurt. The same year I did the same to him on Father's Day, a day I usually make a fuss of because I know he appreciates it. He soon realised why I felt disappointed. He said it sucked.

Why on earth are you sorting out stuff for his mother? Stop that right now. That goes for all other his family gifts. Why do women take on that part of a marriage willingly?

As for today, tell him he will be taking the toddler for a bit so you can have an uninterrupted bath or whatever you like to do to relax. No point in feeling sad in the bathroom, get the bugger told.

Take a internet hug. I'll bet you make him feel special on father's Day. It takes nothing to say happy mother's day with a squeeze and a card.

Some men do all this stuff perfectly... They will have their own issues and failures in other ways. You can spend many mother's days upset or you can clearly outline what you would like to be done on mother's day. He doesn't do anything for his own mum so chances are it's not an important event in his head.

As your kids get older mother's day is quite lovely. Until then outline your expectations.

To the posters wondering why I was expecting a card, I guess I was just hoping my husband would acknowledge the day today, seeing as my son has no idea of what's going on, to be honest even saying happy mother's day to me would have been enough. My son's card wasn't given to me today, my husband showed me on Friday evening when I got home from work. Maybe I am being unreasonable but I thought bit would be nice to have my work as a mother recognised in some way. Im not big into gifts for Valentines or anniversaries, but a card is nice, and I do get him a father's Day card each year. Maybe not this year tho

@FiFTM and @ElphabaTheGreen I'm sorry you've both had such disappointing start to the day.

It really doesn't take much, does it, to organise a card and gift.

Worth having a conversation and calmly expressing your disappointment and that this really won't do next year?

@ElphabaTheGreen That's really shit 💐

Stop organising things for his mother. You're not his PA ffs. From now on, anything to do with his family is his responsibility. I'm sorry your husband is so shit.

elphabaTheGreen sorry you're in the same boat. I'm not very good at vocalising these things, but I think I'll have to try!

Same here op. Men are mostly useless.
Happy mothers day to you, just know that your son loves you more than anything in the world

I’m sorry OP. Ignore the posters who say you’re being unreasonable to have feelings x

He can’t be bothered to get his own Mother anything for Mother’s Day- he leaves it to you. That tells you everything you need to know.

My DD is 28 months, I have a gift and card from nursery and DH got me flowers and is cooking lunch. We don’t make a huge fuss but he makes an effort. Where do women find these shit men from?! It baffles me. I know no-one like this is real life. My social media is awash with women being recognised by their partners and children.

Get some backbone @FiFTM and kick him in to touch.

I’d have nudged him when your child woke up and said “it’s Mother’s Day, it’s your turn oh, and you can bring me up a cup of tea in half an hour.” Sometimes, you just have to be direct. You could then follow on with”So, what are you cooking me for dinner tonight?”

You are not being ridiculous in any way.

Stop the wife work right now. No more buying for “his” family.

You deserve to be loved, valued and respected.