Have to constantly praise husband

[beansandjeans]

I feel like I have to constantly praise DH. Even for the most minor things like putting the shopping away, washing up, working, looking after his own son. It’s draining. He’s ridiculously sensitive to any criticism so if he does anything wrong and I point it out he sulks and says I’m critical of him so I guess the constant praising has become a way of life to keep the peace in our house. Only just realising now how much I do this and not even sure why I’m posting.

Does he get a biscuit too when you praise him as a reward for being a good boy?

Sometimes training a man feels no different from training a dog.They constantly look for reassurance,love praise and hate being chastised.

If you find it draining stop doing it
He’s taking the piss and knows it
Sulking is a form of abuse
Tell him to stop being so fucking childish and grow up.
If he sulks don’t even entertain him

I fact just leave the fukker you’ll feel better for it.

I had one like this
I also had to tell him he was pretty when he was getting dressed up to go out.
Funily enough he never complimented me.
I felt like the man.

Stop enabling this dynamic because it's utterly ridiculous. He's not a puppy, fgs. A frank discussion is in order.

I’ve got one like this too and the overtones of hang dog and sulky puppy are just ridiculous. He wants constant hugs and reassurance. I’m drained to be honest and looking to get out. I don’t actually know how I ended up with such an immature person

When does he praise you?

Bugger that... do you want to do this for the next 20/30/40 years??

No you don’t. You’re choosing to. Choose not to!

I don't know how anyone could stand this. The praise issue is a sign of a deeper problem. He wants praise all the time because he thinks he's amazing for doing the most mundane tasks (possible narcissist tendency). Us he prone to self pity? Does he feel hard done by in life? That no one understands how good he is?

What happens if you don’t say anything? I assume he doesn’t praise you for everything you do

Might as well start taking him out for walks and feed him Royal Canine if he's behaving like that.

If this is his only fault and you don't want to leave him, could you be so over to top with your praise that he sees how ridiculous it is? As in 'oh my goodness my squishy pie, you put the bins out, what a lovely boy you are, coming here to I give you a big huggy wuggy'

Followed by (in a baby voice) 'oh no is my special boy in a huffy puffy'

Stop doing it if you find it draining!

I think I must have had a tough life because I grew up in an era where the automatic response to fishing for praise was 'what do you want, a Blue Peter badge?' .
Now I praise my DS for getting out of bed!
Hmm, I think I can see where this is going, lol.

Seriously though, I'd find that draining as he sounds too delicate. You'll end up feeling resentful. Have you talked to him about why he's like this?

Maybe try a star chart?

'Blah balh sulky why aren't you saying thank you etc'

'Because I'm beginning to find it really draining having to praise you every single time you do a normal, adult task in your own home. It feels like I am training a puppy and is really affecting my respect for you, it's as if you are a child and I'm a parent. It needs to stop or I'm not going to be able to see you as an equal. You don't praise me for all the normal tasks I do - why do you need me to?'

@IndecentCakes

Maybe try a star chart?

That made my day!

Is he 5?

How are you praising him?

What exactly do you say?

Also what do you say when you criticise him

My ex was like this. He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He complained that I never thanked him despite me walking on eggshells thanking him all the time.

He needs a sticker every time he does something, then he can get star of the week for most improved

Well, stop doing it? I mean, it’s nice to be thanked, even for the everyday stuff (and both of you should be doing it equally for each other) but it’s annoying and infantile to sulk, fish for praise etc.

Does he thank you and show gratitude when you do normal parenting and adult domestic duties? I am assuming not.

So what happens if you stop?