I've caved in...

[LionMother]

DH agreed to provide all meals this weekend (including a take-away at some point) to give me a break from cooking. I provide all lunches and cook home-made dinner everyday. I went back to work this week too so I expect this aspect of home life to be shared, although not 50:50.
It's now 13:05 and no lunch has appeared. DH is happily mowing the lawn without a care in the world that his children need to eat some lunch.
I've caved in and put fish fingers and hand cut chips into the oven. I've sling a couple of jackets in there for DH and I but he can sort out whatever topping he likes.
Seriously... he's obviously forgotten but what the hell? Why can't he take on some responsibility as to feeding our children? Why does it always end up with me having to be the grown up who remembers such things?? I do it everyday and accept this is my role as mother but he specifically agreed to take this off me for today to give me a mental break.
I wonder how he'd cope if I ended up in hospital for a week... or even if I went away for the weekend (when we're allowed). I feel like I can't trust him to do the basics. I always have to remind him about cleaning their teeth and giving vitamin when it's his turn in the morning. Children are 5 and 6.
Just ranting really...

I would say that pissing off to other people's places with the mower to avoid getting involved in the things he's promised to do around the house is pretty standard male "But I promised...." fuckery.

@justilou1

I would say that pissing off to other people's places with the mower to avoid getting involved in the things he's promised to do around the house is pretty standard male "But I promised...." fuckery.

Possibly but that doesnt mean that you have to do the chores he hasnt. If he said he was off to Bills to mow the lawn I would ask him if it might not be a bit much as he wouldnt get much down time as the laundry and hoovering he agreed to do would then be waiting for him on his return?

@toolatetofixate

"Happily mowing the lawn without a care in the world."

Cutting the grass is bloody hard work. Jesus, feed your kids and enjoy your husband.

Oh get lost! Women dont' get this excuse do they? I was busy doing something else so I just forgot to feed the kids. If women can do other stuff and still remember to feed the kids then why can't men?

Such a fucking low bar for men.

Mumsnet: where a womans' role is not only to be the primary caregiver but also need to remind their husband of everything that needs doing. If these bad women find carrying the mental load a struggle, well they are just being dramatic and a martyr!

@JustDavesWife

Why fish fingers, chips and jacket potatoes just make a sandwich! What's the point in moaning on here, send the kids out to tell Dad they're hungry and you carry on hoovering or whatever.

I don't get having to have a week off of cooking can't you just split chores?

This.

I’m not saying I DO tolerate it. I have nipped that behaviour in the bud well and truly. It’s a recurring theme on these boards here though.

@WorraLiberty

Man doing household chore: of course he cannot be expected to remember to feed his children as agreed!

He was mowing the lawn and forgot. Possibly because...

I provide all lunches and cook home-made dinner everyday.

And with regards to double standards, if a woman forgot to put lunch on because A.) It's a brand new routine and B.) She was in the middle of mowing the lawn, that would be a perfectly acceptable reason.

Would it though? Really? Is it that fucking hard?

[quote gutful]@justilou1 That doesn't mean mowing the lawn is not a legimitate chore.

It means he likes this chore

If he is mowing neighbours lawns it must be a chore for them to do, otherwise they would want to do it themselves

Also do YOU like mowing lawns & want this chore over laundry ? Then say so.

Some people are better at seeing things like an unkept lawn than a floor needing vacuuming.

This doesn't mean mowing the lawn is actually a leisure activity.[/quote]
Mowing the lawn frequently is a leisure activity. Children need feeding multiple times a day. This is universally acknowledged as a basic need. I’ve never seen the lecture series on mowing the lawn- why it can’t wait even a few hours. And does it really need doing every few weeks? I strongly recommend to my dh that he NOT mow the lawn when there are other more basic tasks at home going undone.

@ShallWeStartTheMeeting

Just re-read the last few posts and apparently the OP is a torn-faced PITA?

Imagine you're at work and a colleague volunteers to cover a task you have done for the past few months, specifically to give you a break. Then when it comes down to it they were busy doing something completely different.
How would you react?

To be fair I'd either leave them to it including dealing with the fall out if they forgot or (more likely), I'd just assume they'd forgotten and remind them...

I don't get why OP couldn't just day 'oi DH, lunch please'. If he consistently forgets lunchtime when he says he'll do it, fair enough be annoyed. But one time? Just remind him. No need to start a MN thread bitching about it, after making it yourself no less, 5 minutes later.

@ErickBroch

Mumsnet: where a womans' role is not only to be the primary caregiver but also need to remind their husband of everything that needs doing. If these bad women find carrying the mental load a struggle, well they are just being dramatic and a martyr!

I'd be annoyed if I had to remind DH all the time about the same thing. One time though? Such a drama over nothing imo.

There's been plenty of times he's reminded me about things.

In fact there's been plenty of times that I've been doing something and then thought 'oh shit, kids need lunch' and it's a bit late or worse still, the kids have had to come find us to tell us they are hungry because we've lost track of time. Obviously the worst parents on the planet.

OP if the onus were on you to provide lunch what would you have provided? Just wondering.
I'd happily cut the grass instead of indoor chores.