How much did he/should he spend on your engagement ring?

[BlingRing1]

Just curious what everyone's thoughts are nowadays? I've heard of the '3 month's salary rule' (although i also heard it was 2 months and 1 month, so who knows!), but that's from a long time ago. Is it still relevant now? If not then what is better?

How much did he spend (either in £ or relative to salary)? Was it more or less than you thought/hoped he would?

Does it matter to you (honestly!)? Should it matter?

But for all the posters screaming ''sexist'' etc, aren't most of you the ones who would still want your Dad to ''give you away?'' or other similarly ''outdated'' sexist ideas ??

Nope. I’d have crawled down the aisle on nails before being given away by my father (he stood and watched like everybody else) and I didn’t take DH’s name either. Is that consistent enough for you?

@Mulberry974 how's it grabby? Our grandparents and great grandparents too didn't have Mumsnet so what's your point exactly?

If you want a ring, why don’t you buy it yourself?

My wedding and engagement rings cost about £500 all together. It was less than a month's salary for sure, but pretty much all we could afford as young parents with one wage coming in. He always says he will buy me a more expensive ring one day, but I really don't care. He's a great husband day to day and I love him, that's what's important. My mum's engagement ring cost £40 in 1978, my parents are still happily married now.

I have no idea. Won't have been more than a months salary I don't think. We weren't hugely well off at the time. I really don't care though because I love it and I would have loved it even if it cost £10.

I don't believe there is an amount you "should" spend. You should buy something you know the person will like.

What nonsense this is. What a waste of money. Spend the money on a fantastic trip somewhere incredible not on a piece of metal.

Ridiculous and completely outdated. Mine was my mother's so it was a freebie. I love it because it's unusual and it links me to her and my dad. It should never be about the money IMO.

I don't know how much mine was but I know if was overly expressive. There is no way I would have wanted him to spend more than a few hundred pounds on it.

Mine was £20 and it is absolutely perfect for me. At some point I will probably have to have it reset because I wear it all the time, I've been quoted £150 for that.

The idea that anyone (male or female) has to spend x amount on a ring to make their partner happy makes me think they should avoid marrying that partner at all costs.

Grabby, rude, outdated and gauche imo.

If this thread doesn't appear in the papers I'll eat my bloody engagement ring.

My husband would never, ever spend 3 months salary on a ring! I don't have any regrets. I'm glad he's so careful with money - we have a nice life because of it. And, of course, if I really wanted a fancier ring I could help to pay for it myself. We bought my ring together after deciding to get married so I chose it and I still love it.

Sorry you are getting such a hard time OP! It’s completely fine to have a ponder about these kind of things.

We already shared money so I wouldn’t have been pleased if 3 months of his salary suddenly disappeared!! As it happened he got some kind of student loan overpayment paid back to him and used mostly that to buy a ring that is around half his monthly salary. We had a small baby at the time and I had also just been left a diamond ring by a family member so he bought a ring with tiny diamonds so that a)it wouldn’t scratch the baby and b) so that I could get the larger diamonds from the ring I had been left made into my wedding ring. I love it.

It's 2021 people.....even 25 years ago folk were getting with the idea that a budget is set, you choose it together and it fits your lifestyle. Unless of course you are living in a mills and boon novel!

£4500

I too thought the OP question sounded more like a journalist. I guess we'll know if we see it in the Fail in a week.

I don’t know how much it cost and not too bothered. But apparently he got the jewellers to get loads out and try them all on as he wanted it to be perfect. The effort he went to made me cry

We’re getting divorced now but still great friends and love him very much. I’ll wear my ring forever (on dif finger maybe) as the effort he went to still means so much to me and I love it

Have I just stepped into Cosmo circa 1993?

@AntheasAcquaintance

My husband, aged 32 and a high earner, refused to buy me a ring because he had been "engaged" at school for a couple of months and had therefore already paid for a ring out of his pocket money and it was unfair that he should have to buy another ring. I bought him an Omega watch of his choosing.

And you still married him? Yikes.

Expensive diamond rings are a complete waste of money. They’re worth a fraction of the original price when you come to want to sell the rings for whatever reason.

If they held their value they’d be worth it. Otherwise it is a waste of money on a trinket.

@AntheasAcquaintance

My husband, aged 32 and a high earner, refused to buy me a ring because he had been "engaged" at school for a couple of months and had therefore already paid for a ring out of his pocket money and it was unfair that he should have to buy another ring. I bought him an Omega watch of his choosing.

How long have you been married?

@AntheasAcquaintance

No, we are divorced and he never bought me a birthday or Christmas card or present throughout the marriage.

Gosh he sounds awful!