Parents haven’t left the house since last Feb and don’t seem to plan to

[Carolbaskinstiger]

Am at a bit of a loss. I may be being unreasonable but am starting to worry.
Parents are in mid 70’s, but fit and healthy and not in a vulnerable category. The only two times they’ve left the house, at all, we’re once last summer to doorstep drop a present to me. And then to get their first vaccine.

I spoke to them yesterday to tentatively ask if they’d be interested in a holiday at a private house with us in August (bit no pressure). The reaction was as if I’d asked them to walk into a pit of crocodiles, and my mum said “well by summer we may perhaps go for walks.

They will be fully vaccinated by then.

While of course I am so glad they are safe - I’m getting worried about them if I’m honest. When I say they’ve been nowhere except those - I mean nowhere. And they don’t seem to be likely to want to change this for (as jun said) another year.

They have both had their first dose @Nuitsdesetoiles, they were very pleased to be having it and will have their booster when called but still have totally bought the line that a trip to Aldi will be fatal. Not might, not a bit risky, not "take precautions" - 100% fatal for oldies. No amount of chat about what other people are doing will change their minds. MIL has always been a worrier and FIL is basically antisocial and lazy.

So they spend their days on the sofa watching Countdown.

DH is doing is best, along with his sister, of feeding them positive news in the hope of changing their mindset, he was on the phone yesterday talking about how good the vaccine appears to be about keeping people out of hospital. But the inlaws don't see that as a concern, they won't get as far as hospital because when (not if) they catch covid they will die.

People's mental health is shot to pieces.

@RaspberryCoulis

They have both had their first dose *@Nuitsdesetoiles*, they were very pleased to be having it and will have their booster when called but still have totally bought the line that a trip to Aldi will be fatal. Not might, not a bit risky, not "take precautions" - 100% fatal for oldies. No amount of chat about what other people are doing will change their minds. MIL has always been a worrier and FIL is basically antisocial and lazy.

So they spend their days on the sofa watching Countdown.

DH is doing is best, along with his sister, of feeding them positive news in the hope of changing their mindset, he was on the phone yesterday talking about how good the vaccine appears to be about keeping people out of hospital. But the inlaws don't see that as a concern, they won't get as far as hospital because when (not if) they catch covid they will die.

People's mental health is shot to pieces.

My MIL v similar. Basically thinks if she goes shopping she'll die. Her hands are in a dreadful state due to the constant hand washing and gels. It's very sad and I think it's going to be a long time before people that have the fear are going to be able to have any decent quality of life. The messaging has been very irresponsible and that bloody look into my eyes thing on TV is blatant propaganda!

I know loads of healthcare staff, some very senior. They basically seem to be split into 2 camps. Those who think we're not taking it seriously enough and those who are furious we've been fed a lie and the resultant devastating effect on quality of life is not worth it. Interestingly an ICU nurse I know has been asked to stop posting drama ridden content on FB.

One thing that interests me, most of the people who are high risk of complications from covid were the same group who would be likely to have complications from the flu or many other viruses, yet didn't feel thr need to lock themselves away previously

But previously the flu and other viruses didn’t wipe out 2% of the people in their age group in just under 12 months so it’s not comparable. An estimate of 125k UK COVID deaths, 74% of which were people aged 75+ amongst an age group of 5 million, nearly 95k over 75s in the UK have now died of COVID - if the whole population (66.5 million) had suffered losses proportionally at 2% of the entire population we’d have a UK death toll of 1.3 million right now...so caution and a level of fear in a group that has seen that proportion of loss is understandable. If the virus was indiscriminate and 1.3million total had been lost so far then there would be a similar fearful/cautious reaction from other age groups I imagine. By comparison the average UK deaths in over 65s (the only data I can find) was around 7.5k per year - awful, but the risk is not comparable.

It also brings home the importance of having vaccinated the most vulnerable first & with any luck the rest of us soon. Hopefully then we’ll finally get to hug the people we love, but I do understand the reticence to commit to holidays etc, cautious optimism has to be the way forward for now.

Ads like this don't help. People who don't care, still won't. But the people like OP's parents will see it in think they can't even step out of the front door.

pbs.twimg.com/media/ErO2jwHXMAIDQV2?format=jpg&name=medium

A couple of hundred yards from my local primary school is another in that series that says "SHOULD YOU BE HERE? STAY HOME. PEOPLE WILL DIE".
That appalls me. What is it doing to the children walking to school, thinking that people will die because of them?

@Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear

The lack of exercise would really worry me as ime older people decline very quickly with no exercise. They may be protecting themselves from Covid but lack of exercise could take years off their life expectancy.

This. They need to both socialise and exercise to stay healthy. Its really bad for their health to stay in the house for weeks on end.

To demonstrate, my DF broke his foot during lockdown. Not very badly, was treated prompty and healed well. But he now cannot walk as all he does is sit in a chair all day, so he stopped using the foot and it is now so swollen and the leg muscles in that leg so weak that he has lost the function.

Its terribly difficult for DM as she has to physically help him to move from room to room.

This is an extreme case because DF is lazy and hasn't moved much for years, but he used to at least be able to walk. Theres no physical reason why he can't walk but he just seems to have no motivation or determination. He won't even do the foot exercises - basically just moving the move up and down and round about - while sitting. Theres nothing wrong with him physically otherwise - yet - but that is unlikely to stay that way as his lifestyle is actually just as unhealthy as someone who drinks too much or is obese. He is only 71 and I can see him going into a nursing home soon because its too much for DM. That may be his ambition...