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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Just gone through partners phone

99 replies

soconfusedddd · 24/02/2021 07:50

And he's sent himself a picture of a girl only wearing joggers but her boobs are crossed out? What could this be about? What should I do? I know I was wrong to go through his phone but I just had a feeling. He sent it to himself a week I went into labor with our first baby... I'm so upset, he's asleep I haven't woken him up.

OP posts:

Sunshine3013 · 24/02/2021 07:54

Calm down first and wait until the right time to bring this up and discuss it with him.

Original poster

soconfusedddd · 24/02/2021 08:00

I'm definitely calm, I'm upset though. Maybe it's because we weren't having sex but I had bad sciatica and was nearly going into labor!

OP posts:

Windmillwhirl · 24/02/2021 08:04

Stop trying to blame yourself for him having a naked photo of a woman on his phone.

Its not your fault first and foremost.

Original poster

soconfusedddd · 24/02/2021 08:05

Thank you. That's the thing her boobs are scribbled out but clearly there's no other purpose for it than what I'm imagining. I'm honestly upset, we've been drifting since baby was here.

OP posts:

DavidsSchitt · 24/02/2021 08:06

"we weren't having sex but I had bad sciatica and was nearly going into labor!"

You could have been doing anything at all, you don't have to have an excuse or reason to not have sex.

I don't know how you send a photo to yourself so not sure on that one. Do you mean he's screenshot a random picture?

saffire · 24/02/2021 08:07

What do you mean he sent it to himself? Or was it just saved in with the photos?

Original poster

soconfusedddd · 24/02/2021 08:07

He sent it to himself on Twitter in his DMs. Didn't know you could do it but there we go.

OP posts:

CaramelPops · 24/02/2021 08:14

I take it it’s a model not an actual person he knows.

Watch him got a while, don’t give the game away however tempting it may be.

Original poster

soconfusedddd · 24/02/2021 08:26

I know he's going to try and downplay it and say why was I looking through his phone and that I'm delusional.

OP posts:

TheChip · 24/02/2021 08:46

Any chance he likes the joggers and wants to buy you or himself a pair?

What do you think he has sent it to himself for?
If that is the only thing you have found, then there is a chance that you're reaching.

Its not a good sign that you're looking through his phone though. Why would he say you're delusional?

saltychocolateballs · 24/02/2021 08:51

Oh my god . If you have a feeling about something you ha e every right to look through a partners phone . People would still be with cheats and porn addicts thinking their married lives are perfect otherwise 😴. Do not apologise op . This does not reflect on you at all but only him . What a dick . I really don't get why a photo with scribbled out boobs unless he knows her . That's the only reason

baileys6904 · 24/02/2021 09:49

Pmsl @saltychocolateballs

Would you say that to a man as well?? That if he 'has A feeling' he has a right to go through his partners phone?? No would u fuck, so don't start trying to justify it now.

And does it hell mean he knows her. Stop taking someone else's upset and winding it up for your own purpose ffs.

OP, no one on here will know why he did that. Not a scoobies. No one knows him, ur relationship or why anyone would cross out boobs.

Talk to him and ask. To me, its strange but nothing horrendous but that's me. You have your own boundaries but please don't allow the mumsnet man haters to get in your head

SoulofanAggron · 24/02/2021 09:57

I don't think if he were using it for porn it'd have scribbled out boobs. That'd defeat the object. So I think it was for something else, can't think what, though. PP's idea that it's the trousers maybe makes sense.

Just my opinion.

FluffyHippo · 24/02/2021 09:58

Stop going through his phone, you creepy stalkerish woman! How dare you? Would you like him to go through your things looking for 'evidence'?

AmySosa · 24/02/2021 10:00

Fuck me, if DH went through my phone he’d find all sorts of weird and random screenshots, including cock shots that my sister has forwarded to me when she’s received them (unasked for) on Tinder.

You really can’t judge anything from a random forwarded image.

saltychocolateballs · 24/02/2021 10:19

@baileys6904

Pmsl *@saltychocolateballs*

Would you say that to a man as well?? That if he 'has A feeling' he has a right to go through his partners phone?? No would u fuck, so don't start trying to justify it now.

And does it hell mean he knows her. Stop taking someone else's upset and winding it up for your own purpose ffs.

OP, no one on here will know why he did that. Not a scoobies. No one knows him, ur relationship or why anyone would cross out boobs.

Talk to him and ask. To me, its strange but nothing horrendous but that's me. You have your own boundaries but please don't allow the mumsnet man haters to get in your head

Ow nutcase yes I would 😂, calm down you want too .

saltychocolateballs · 24/02/2021 10:20

@baileys6904

Pmsl *@saltychocolateballs*

Would you say that to a man as well?? That if he 'has A feeling' he has a right to go through his partners phone?? No would u fuck, so don't start trying to justify it now.

And does it hell mean he knows her. Stop taking someone else's upset and winding it up for your own purpose ffs.

OP, no one on here will know why he did that. Not a scoobies. No one knows him, ur relationship or why anyone would cross out boobs.

Talk to him and ask. To me, its strange but nothing horrendous but that's me. You have your own boundaries but please don't allow the mumsnet man haters to get in your head

Also I am a man 😴 so not saying it too stir up anything .

ShalomToYouJackie · 24/02/2021 10:26

@saltychocolateballs

Nope, nobody has a "right" to look through someone else's phone.

Miffyliffy · 24/02/2021 10:31

I understand you feeling upset, generally seeing something like that would make you think the worst.

I have so much random and probably questionable things if someone went through my phone, nothing I cant explain and completely innocent.

Ask him

saltychocolateballs · 24/02/2021 10:31

I think you do , if they give you suspicion then yes 100 percent . It's a phone for god sake . Hate it how technology such as Facebook and phones are taking over peoples lives . Me and my partner know each other's codes for phones ..... because we have nothing to hide

seensome · 24/02/2021 10:39

I don't think it's anything to worry about if it's a model picture, the boobs are crossed out so he's not interested in looking at them, maybe a mate sent it to him? If it's a women in real life then it's weird.

Original poster

soconfusedddd · 24/02/2021 10:42

To all those calling me crazy, he did wank over that picture, and now I'm leaving.

OP posts:

FluffyHippo · 24/02/2021 10:46

@soconfusedddd

To all those calling me crazy, he did wank over that picture, and now I'm leaving.

You're leaving him because he wanked over a picture?

Yup, you're still crazy and, given your weird and unattainable expectations about male behaviour and your ability to control it, very likely to be single for a long time to come.

TheChip · 24/02/2021 10:47

Who was the picture of?

BusterGonad · 24/02/2021 11:00

I don't understand why he'd scribble out the bare boobs but leave the rest, and of someone wearing joggers? Hardly flattering attire.

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