I reported my abuser from 20 years ago.

[rainbowdashsneeze]

Yesterday I phoned the police and reported a rape that took place when I was 12 years old. I was inspired by a thread asking when you lost your virginity and I realised I answered that question with "12 years". I didn't lose my virginity at 12 I was raped! The police came round within an hour of reporting the offence and took my statement. I am now beginning to get cold feet and think I have done the wrong thing. I can't help but feel I should have let sleeping dogs sleep instead of waking all of that pain and hurt. It was 20 years ago now and I still think about it on a regular basis and I know it's the right thing to do but I am also very Aware that conviction rate for rape is very low so I may be fighting a loosing battle. Not really sure why I'm posting tbh.

Well done. Do you know where this man is now?

You 100% did the right thing! Rape is rape, no matter how long ago it occurred. I'm so glad the police were so responsive. I hope that even if there is no conviction (you're right that the rates are shockingly low!) that the process of standing up for yourself and being your own advocate is cathartic and healing.

❤️

You did the right thing. Have a think about contacting rape crisis or your GP to access counselling or support.

[Flowers]

You have done a strong and selfless thing.
Doing this may protect others. Thee may be others that will come forward.
Even if he doesn't get convicted he will have to deal with it and people close to him will know that he has been accused of something. This again may help protect others.
I take my hat off to you. Your strength for picking up the phone is incredible

Well done, OP. My abuser has died otherwise I think I would do the same. It is very brave, a handhold from me x

I was thinking about that thread too because mine was the same, only I was slightly older at 15.
Well done for going to the police. I'm now 30 and I feel like it's affecting me more and more.

Well done OP. Whatever happens from this point, you have done a brave and amazing thing and I am in awe of you. Take this as far as you find it helpful for you

Thank you, I really needed those words of encouragement. I've lived with the guilt and shame for a long long time and I've even seen the guy at several parties since. I just thought to myself after that thread.... fuck this why am I living with this shame whilst he gets on with his life.

I reported my childhood abuser a few years ago, went through the whole procedure of court case etc, was very stressful, but definitely has changed my life for the better, if it's still on your mind every day you should go through with it, as doing so will give you back your sense of control and take away any guilt or shame you have, it's a huge decision and indeed a daunting thing to take on, happy to talk more if you want to

You're really brave OP. Sending a handhold for when you need it xx

Well done you and well done the Police for responding quickly. It will be down to the CPS to decide if it goes to court but he will be 'marked' by it and can't just forget what he did.

Well done OP, that was a brave thing to do.

I hope this has helped you heal. It’s very brave to speak out. Your experience might be the thing that convicts him, especially if other women have also reported him for the same crime. Power in every person who speaks out.

Well done OP. That was a very brave thing to do. The guilt and shame is squarely on your abuser's shoulders, not you.

I hope it helps with your healing.

Well done, if nothing else think of his absolute horror when the police pick him up and question him (on something I'm sure he was sure he got away with) and rejoice !
You are v brave

I was 16 and no way could I do this. Well done op, regardless of the outcome of the investigation xx

I don’t know you, but I’m so proud of you, you did the right thing

Thank you for reporting for all those of us who can’t. X

Well done op! I did the same in 2017 and never thought it would actually go anywhere. We are due in court this year!
It is a very rough process though so do take advantage of all the support you get offered. Good luck

You're very brave. Thank you for standing up and doing that.

FWIW, yes it's really hard to get rape convictions, and more so for historical offences, but prisons are filling up with offenders who committed horrible crimes years ago and who finally get convicted because of brave survivors like you. I am aware of someone who assaulted children in the early 1970s who was only sent to prison a few years ago, in his mid-80s. He will probably die in jail.

Well done for being so brave. I'm sure you did the rjight thing and the perpetrator will get a nasty shock regardless of any prosecution. The evidence you provide may be used later should his name come up again. He needs to be held accountable for raping a child, however long ago it may have taken place, the pain has never escaped you and he should be brought to justice.

You are so brave.

Please make sure you engage with an independent sexual violence advisor ( the police should have referred you?) and start the process of getting on the waiting list for therapy.

Even if the statement doesn’t result in a charge or conviction know that you are believed and have done the right thing.

You absolutely have done the right thing, 12!! He shouldn't get away with that. The fact that the police came round within an hour shows what a CRIME this was. Totally understand the cold feet and I hope other people having gone through this will help you stay strong. Well done.

You are so brave. I was sexually abused as a child and I haven't had the courage to report as it was a family member and I don't want people to know as I feel so ashamed and humiliated.

I really admire you. I hope you're able to access therapy etc if you need it too.

You are so courageous, and I admire you hugely.
Stay strong. That 12 year old deserved someone to fight her corner, even now.