Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Don’t mention the jasmine!

962 replies

StuckInPollyannaMode · 31/01/2021 10:47

Can’t believe I’m onto my third thread.

Previous one here

Been packing the car to go to the tip. It’s rammed! Cat has been out for the first time and thankfully returned.

Greatly enjoyed my walks this weekend. Got an 8 miler in yesterday but the best part was coming back, lighting the fire and getting into a hot bath. Had a zoom with friends last night, touch too much red wine, but it was so much fun.

You’re all right re the petition. It doesn’t matter, he’s just jackbooting. Someone asked what I’d put in, sorry but I’m not comfortable sharing that at present, been advised to keep it to myself whilst it’s ongoing.

Geller is, however, incredulous that I’m not willing to carry on sharing Amazon Prime and Music Unlimited.

The weighted blankets have arrived so I’m just about to go sort out the laundry and the girls run. Been enjoying Radio 2’s musical weekend, but I can’t understand how Steve Wright is still on.

Tip run, then they come back. Roast chicken with bread sauce and roast gnocchi and board games this afternoon in front of the fire I think. Sounds like he’s been running them ragged, lots of walks etc which is good as means I don’t need to!

How’s everyone else spending their Sunday?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Catmaiden · 22/02/2021 19:28

I share your pain re watching BJ. I've got a glass of port while I watch

Sicario · 22/02/2021 20:55

I would like to offer something useful but unfortunately I have accidentally got pissed in a zoom birthday party. I am lying down and actually feel a bit nauseous. I have eaten a whole family pack of mini crunchies.They were lush but now my teeth and gums really hurt.

Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 22/02/2021 21:06

@Sicario fair play to you on a Monday night! Have several for me!

I have a reply to my email, replying to his email being a fuckwit.

How the fuck I cope with handover at 8.30am I really don’t know. Answers on a postcard...

I know I shouldn’t post the full works, so I’ll leave you with these tasty tidbits.

I genuinely think you need to have a look at some of your friends, and how little their partners, the Dad's, are involved in the lives of their kids.

I feel very emotional at present. I've loved having the girls and seeing them a lot. I'm finding the whole process of change very difficult, but between this and the letter from the solicitor, I really wonder what's going on.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 22/02/2021 21:12

Urgh more gaslighting and lies and changing the narrative...

Too little too late!!!

Had he only done is fair share for the last 7 years...

Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 22/02/2021 21:19

I’ve just eaten my emergency chocolate.

Should have got a bigger bar.

OP posts:
CannotOperateOnThisFailure · 22/02/2021 21:20

I genuinely think you need to have a look at some of your friends, and how little their partners, the Dad's, are involved in the lives of their kids.

That was him too until he realised 50:50 meant no maintenance, amirite?

Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 22/02/2021 21:21

The whole email is full of ‘I’

Including a nice attempt to blackmail me about how he speaks about me to the kids and to ‘people in the village’

OP posts:
Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 22/02/2021 21:23

Yes @CannotOperateOnThisFailure

I can’t BELIEVE how angry I am. With myself. You guys all told me, you warned me, and I was like nooo, but it IS and he IS, and it’s like I’m reading a script and I wasn’t in the slightest bit prepared for the plot twist.

What do I do tomorrow morning?

OP posts:
Sicario · 22/02/2021 21:24

opens family bag of fun-sized snickers Sometimes binge-eating sugar is the only way to go.

Ignore it. Hand over in the morning. Say nothing. Be calm. Wait til he's gone. Scream into cushion. Repeat.

In the words of George Michael, I think you're amazing.

RandomMess · 22/02/2021 21:27

Just ignore him.

Smile and say goodbye to the girls you don't need to interact with him.

Sicario · 22/02/2021 21:30

Also the courts take a very dim view of either parent airing the divorce laundry with the kids or the village. And trust me - everyone will know what the dynamic was anyway. As they say... you were always the last to know.

Here's a little share just for you... My ex gaslighted me so badly I was convinced I was going mad. The GP prescribed me pills. (This was pre-internet days). I went for a drive, ended up by a reservoir, looked into the depths.

4 days later I drove back to the GP, handed back the prescription, and said to the receptionist - I'm not mad, have this back, I've separated from my bastard psycho husband instead.

She literally leapt out from behind the counter, hugged me and shouted "good for you!".

They all knew he was a psycho. I had no idea.

CannotOperateOnThisFailure · 22/02/2021 21:31

What do I do tomorrow morning?

Say nothing to him, tempting as it may be to point out, with emphasis from a frying pan to his head on every syllable that between this and the letter from the solicitor, I really wonder what's going on means you are divorcing his idiotic arse and it's NOT YOUR PROBLEM anymore, wankface arsewipe.

Mix56 · 22/02/2021 21:32

LOL. Prrefect

Lougle · 22/02/2021 21:33

His behaviour is no different now to that before your split. You don't need to play the game. Just KOKO.

Mix56 · 22/02/2021 21:34

Ah fuck I've, been having a wee aperitif.
"Perfect "

Original poster
StuckInPollyannaMode · 22/02/2021 21:44

I’ll keep the frying pan safely in the kitchen!

Well it’s solved one problem. He definitely won’t want to come on holiday in the summer now 😂

@Sicario I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

Right. I’m going to put my running gear on in the morning, then once the kids are out the door I can literally run away!

Going to try and get some sleep now.

OP posts:
FelicityPike · 22/02/2021 21:48

I wish I could still binge chocolate but it gives me migraines now.
Good on you @Sicario !!
@StuckInPollyannaMode tomorrow morning....smile and wave, just smile & wave!
Then email your SHL and let them know about him telling all and sundry his “issues”.

RandomMess · 22/02/2021 21:53

Have your kit on and leave the house as you open it to him and run off before he can speak!

"Bye girls see you later/tomorrow"

drspouse · 22/02/2021 22:07

I really wonder what's going on.
Well he's not very bright then is he?
Can you say "I'm divorcing you" in words of one syllable?

Sicario · 22/02/2021 22:09

Hey Polly - any tips for starting running for a woman with massive tribal norks? It's seriously like I have a blancmange sofa up my t-shirt.

PanamaPattie · 22/02/2021 22:28

His " I speak to the village" narrative reminds me of when my DC were younger. If at anytime I said no to anything - for example DD1 wanted a penknife - EVERYONE at school has one. DD1 has spoken to ALL her friends Mums and EVERY one of them said it was ok to have one.

You know he hasn't spoken in anyone. It's lockdown. Why would people get involved. Tis bolleaux.

78percentLindt · 22/02/2021 22:28

Don't think it needs saying really, but make sure the email about what he says to the children about you, goes to your SHL - its surely threatening parental alienation. He has also admitted that he hadn't been doing 50:50 in the past.

Catmaiden · 22/02/2021 22:36

I've just watched H and S sort out slightly injured DCat
I resisted helping or intervening. DCat was fine (, i I would have intervened otherwise)
H and S were furious I did not "help"

RandomMess · 22/02/2021 22:38

@Sicario check out proper running bras so they cannot move!!! Shock absorber do a very wide range.

Then use a couch to 5k App and have proper running shoes.

Also look up on you tube strengthening exercises for runners.

HTH

drspouse · 22/02/2021 23:12

Tis bolleaux.
Perfectly put.