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Original poster

Can ex force house sale!

87 replies

Trolleydolly789 · 30/01/2021 19:15

Trolleydolly789
Some advise needed please. My ex and I parted ways last year after 16 years we have three children ranging from 16 down to 6 we jointly own our home but we’re never married. Ex agreed that rather than pay maintenance he would simply continue paying the mortgage until our youngest was in secondary a school we would then sell and split the money. He’s since met someone new and decided now he wants to sell straight away I have refused as he’s not paying maintenance & I haven’t asked for any extra help financially! After a lengthy discussion he agreed to keep the house on for three years but I would have to sign a legal document agreeing to sell at the end of the three years I asked if he would in return sign something to agree that once he stopped paying the mortgage he would then actually pay maintenance towards the upkeep of the kids! He’s refused! He’s now getting a court order to force the sale of the house immediately (despite me having in texts that he will continue to pay the mortgage) can get actually do this! I don’t have the financial clout he does and he doesn’t have his children for visits or overnights as he lives in a one bed apartment and won’t have them stay so I’m basically a single parent and I get no financial help from him other than him paying the mortgage! I’m beside myself with worry the thought of having to leave my home after everything we’ve been through already what with the stress of the split and lockdown I genuinely feel like I’m at breaking point!

OP posts:
Mamamia456 · 30/01/2021 19:23

If the house is in both names then no he cannot force you to sell it. Don't sign anything that he asks you to. Even if the house was in his name only I think you would still be entitled to live there until your youngest child was 18.

I would seek advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau and don't let him bully or frighten you into selling the house.

MixedUpFiles · 30/01/2021 19:26

I have no knowledge about the legality of forcing a home sale, but why on earth are you not claiming maintenance. Get that sorted on Monday.

Original poster
Trolleydolly789 · 30/01/2021 19:37

I just figured it was far easier to just let him pay the mortgage than try and chase him for money for the kids! I work full time and pay all the bills plus get the kids whatever they need he just pays the mortgage which I figure covers the cost of the kids if he were paying maintenance! He says that if I don’t sign the document he’s going to court and forcing me out but I’ve said that two years isnt really long enough for me to sort myself out and find somewhere else and because he’s refusing to agree to pay anything once house is sold I feel very vulnerable I know that deep down once he’s got his half of the house he will be gone and I’ll be homeless and with three kids to support on my own! I told him that he’s agreed to pay the mortgage in texts to me so why is he now refusing but he says the court will force the sale and I’ll also have to pay his court costs I’m absolutely petrified and I can’t afford legal representation myself!

OP posts:
BootsieBarnes · 30/01/2021 19:41

I would get this moved to legal. There are some really good regular posters on there that will give you a better idea.

You really do need to get yourself a solicitor though as it sounds like he's gone legal. You need proper advice.

MooseBeTimeForSummer · 30/01/2021 19:41

Are you married or not?

RandomMess · 30/01/2021 19:41

Is he employed?? If so very easy to get maintenance via CMS.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/01/2021 20:03

@Mamamia456

If the house is in both names then no he cannot force you to sell it. Don't sign anything that he asks you to. Even if the house was in his name only I think you would still be entitled to live there until your youngest child was 18.

I would seek advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau and don't let him bully or frighten you into selling the house.

I don't think this is true.

Most people can't afford to stay in the family home once they split and afford another property. So, it's fairly standard to sell up and each downsize.

Without knowing all your finances op, it's impossible to know.

You will need to see a solicitor.

RandomMess · 30/01/2021 20:10

He can force sale but it has to be done via the courts

Wiredforsound · 30/01/2021 20:10

Go legal. Ask for recommendations for a shit hot lawyer and know your rights. He can mouth off all he wants but he has no overnights and your children need a suitable home. I suspect you’ll be better off than you think.

Aminuts23 · 30/01/2021 20:12

Lawyer here, yes it certainly is possible he can force a sale through the court. The law is very different depending on whether you’re married or not. Because you are not married he can do this. I’d go take some legal advice. And claim maintenance immediately because it can’t be backdated beyond the date you first apply.

nimbuscloud · 30/01/2021 20:14

How much is the mortgage payment ?
And what would he be paying in maintenance?

category12 · 30/01/2021 20:15

I think he can get an Order of Sale to force a sale.

You need to get legal advice - you could try Citizens Advice etc. Some solicitors do a free half-hour initial consultation, so it might be worth seeing if anyone does that in your area and see what they think.

It might make more sense for you to agree to sell and take your half of any equity to set yourself up than try to fight it out. Then go to the CMS and get child support paid.

RedMarauder · 30/01/2021 20:17

You need to contact the CMS for child maintenance. Information here - www.gov.uk/making-child-maintenance-arrangement/using-child-maintenance-service.

And their phone number is on this page childmaintenanceservice.direct.gov.uk/onlinerevive/public/covid19-faq-nrp

0800 988 0988

Do it on Monday.

marshmallowfluffy · 30/01/2021 20:18

He can force the sale but he can't refuse to pay maintenance.
Put his details in a CM calculator to see what he'd be forced to pay on CM and compare it to the mortgage amount. If the mortgage is more than CM then you're currently getting a good deal. If not then contact CM now and get the house on the market.

RedMarauder · 30/01/2021 20:18

As PPs pointed out yes he can go through the Courts to force a sale.

Child maintenance and the house sale are completely separate legal issues as you are not married.

Original poster
Trolleydolly789 · 30/01/2021 20:25

We aren’t married and he would have to pay far more in maintenance than he would paying the mortgage he has however made it crystal clear that he will hide his income and avoid paying it every way he can (I have this in texts) he also applied for a six month mortgage break behind my back so at one point he was paying nothing towards the children and was quite proud of the fact (again have the proof) he doesn’t have the kids and he doesn’t need the money he’s been living very comfortably for over a year in his own place he’s only doing it because he’s met someone new and wants a clean break from me and the kids! Surely the courts will see this for what it is which is pure spite my children’s school is a two minute walk which they can do safely every day whilst I work my parents are also two mins away if I’m forced to sell I won’t be able to afford to buy and I certainly won’t be able to rent the average rental price for where I live is a thousand pounds a month for a two bed my mortgage is only £950 pounds. He’s bullied and coerced me our whole relationship and now he’s trying to force his kids out of their home just because he can!

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 30/01/2021 20:33

Don't worry op, I fear we've panicked you. I've just got divorced and I do think the courts in the uk are on our (the female with children's) side; even my solicitor said to me thank goodness you got divorced here (rather than exes country). But, I'm afraid you will have to see a solicitor. Many do a half hour free. And I think he can be asked to pay if you can't afford it.

Aminuts23 · 30/01/2021 20:34

OP I can sense your pain and anger but if he’s going to do this you need to start making plans. Because you’re not married the court will not take into account the DC or where their school is etc. It’s much more black and white. Think of it like 2 business associates owning a property, that’s what the court will see it as. You either need to buy him out or start planning what you will do.
Claim maintenance immediately

nimbuscloud · 30/01/2021 20:36

my mortgage is only £950 pounds

He’s paying £950 per month for the mortgage? How much more would he have to pay in maintenance?

wewereliars · 30/01/2021 20:39

If you were married you would have spousal rights of occupation, but even that does not last forever. As you are not married your partner can apply for an order to sell the house. I know because I am a solicitor and because I got an order forcing sale of my jointly owned house.

You need proper legal advice.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 30/01/2021 20:43

Have you received any legal papers yet or is he still just threatening legal action and a court order?

It is possible for him to get a court order to force the sale of the house but at the same it is a lengthy process.

You should really speak to a solicitor.

And whilst I know it is too late for your situation, I hope that other unmarried women with children read your story and realise that marriage is not just a piece of paper. It can give you much more protection in a split.

Misandrylovescompany · 30/01/2021 20:46

Is your name on the house at all ?

You’re not married so your rights are very limited I’m afraid. It would help to know whether you have your name on the house.

nimbuscloud · 30/01/2021 20:47

Is your name on the house at all ?

The op jointly owns her home with her ex.

Original poster
Trolleydolly789 · 30/01/2021 21:00

We jointly own the home I actually put down the deposit when we bought five years ago! We didn’t marry because he was just extremely controlling both financially and mentally and I knew that if I did marry him what little that was left of my freedom would be gone! He’s a bully and this is just another way he can destroy me he didn’t see his children for three months citing Covid as the excuse but then got a speeding ticket which was sent to my house showing that he’d been in Oxford during lockdown and he then had to admit he’d met someone on tinder and he was seeing her rather than his children! Subsequent to this and unrelated but shows his character he caught Covid at Xmas bought it into the house when he saw the kids Xmas day and again admitted that he’d travelled to her house back to his apartment and then to visit the kids whilst feeling unwell honestly you couldn’t make it up! I feel drained with it all! I’ve kept his kids safe educated and loved during a global pandemic he doesn’t help me with money he doesn’t help with child care and now this I just don’t know how much more I can take tbh!

OP posts:
rawlikesushi · 30/01/2021 21:28

I am sorry that you are going through this but do agree with pp that he can absolutely force the sale of the house, and fighting it would be both pointless and expensive.

You do need to speak to a solicitor, even if you have to put it onto a credit card, because an outlay of several hundred may ultimately save you thousands.

Start CM claim tomorrow, you have absolutely nothing to lose by doing this.

How much equity will you have and will you be able to raise a mortgage by yourself?