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Original poster

Can ex force house sale!

87 replies

Trolleydolly789 · 30/01/2021 19:15

Trolleydolly789
Some advise needed please. My ex and I parted ways last year after 16 years we have three children ranging from 16 down to 6 we jointly own our home but we’re never married. Ex agreed that rather than pay maintenance he would simply continue paying the mortgage until our youngest was in secondary a school we would then sell and split the money. He’s since met someone new and decided now he wants to sell straight away I have refused as he’s not paying maintenance & I haven’t asked for any extra help financially! After a lengthy discussion he agreed to keep the house on for three years but I would have to sign a legal document agreeing to sell at the end of the three years I asked if he would in return sign something to agree that once he stopped paying the mortgage he would then actually pay maintenance towards the upkeep of the kids! He’s refused! He’s now getting a court order to force the sale of the house immediately (despite me having in texts that he will continue to pay the mortgage) can get actually do this! I don’t have the financial clout he does and he doesn’t have his children for visits or overnights as he lives in a one bed apartment and won’t have them stay so I’m basically a single parent and I get no financial help from him other than him paying the mortgage! I’m beside myself with worry the thought of having to leave my home after everything we’ve been through already what with the stress of the split and lockdown I genuinely feel like I’m at breaking point!

OP posts:
Pillowcase123 · 30/01/2021 21:37

Yes, he can force the sale. Marriage would have provided much more security but that doesnt help you now, I know.

The only thing he is legally obliged to give you is maintenance for the DC. Please put in a claim ASAP regardless of his threats/messages.

In terms of the mortgage, would you be able to raise a new mortgage for his share of the house and pay him out? Do you work? If not to these two questions, it may be sensible to sell and downsize to something you can afford. Is there much equity in the house?

Original poster
Trolleydolly789 · 30/01/2021 21:45

There’s roughly £180k in equity he runs a very successful business and earns six figures I’m a SEN speech and language therapist he earns more in three months than I do in a year I can’t buy him out but I can afford the mortgage i just wouldn’t be able to borrow from the bank on my salary and he knows this! He’s also said that if I apply for child maintenance he will fiddle the books and not pay what he should which was why I thought it easier to just have him continue to pay the mortgage he’s very shrewd when it comes to finances and knows i can’t afford to fight him legally! He will sell the house take the money and leave me high and dry and despite me being able to prove it all I can’t do a thing about it!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 30/01/2021 21:49

You have evidence in writing to give to the CMS and you can also ask for a reconsideration if his lifestyle exceeds his declared income.

In fact as he's put it in writing report him to HMRC anonymously?

jay55 · 30/01/2021 22:10

Honestly, it doesn't sound like any house is worth staying financially tied to him.

MadeForThis · 30/01/2021 22:19

If he is self employed then he will be able to pay himself an extremely low salary and avoid proper maintenance. If he is PAYE then maintenance can be taken at source.

He can force the sale. But let him take you to court to do it. Don't just walk away from your home.

Original poster
Trolleydolly789 · 30/01/2021 22:43

He’s said that if it goes to court he will pass the costs to me and it will come out of my share of the house so I’ll be even worse off! He’s self employed and will avoid maintenance if I file a claim it will just antagonise him and he will be more spiteful I don’t have a leg to stand on! Even with the equity in my home I won’t be able to afford to buy again and I’ll be paying more in rent I’m 43 and to old to start again I feel like this is the of the road for me I’ve failed my children they are going to lose their home their friends and their safe space and I’m going to struggle financially whilst he lives his best life thumbing his nose at the system and avoiding his responsibilities to his children Sad

OP posts:
BlueThistles · 30/01/2021 22:56

Speak to a Lawyer... and listen to them... not your DICK of an ex.. and I agree with everyone on her... claim CMS immediately 🌺

DifficultBloodyWoman · 30/01/2021 23:02

You are catastrophising.

Take a breath and, in a nice way, get a grip.

In your worst case scenario, you and your children live happily ever after in a rental that isn’t as close to your parents as you would like.

That is the worst case scenario. Now focus on the other scenarios.

Best case - he comes to his senses.

More realistic case - you get what money you can from him to support your joint children. File a claim for CMS. If and when he starts reducing his income, report him to CMS for having a lifestyle that doesn’t match his income. Do the same with HMRC. Do not tell him that you are doing this! In fact, don’t tell him anything. You have split up. Communication should be essential war dispatches only (so, child related only).

Get a solicitor. Get proper legal advice. Stop fighting what he wants just because he wants it. Instead, with legal advice, start fighting for what is reasonable for you and your children.

It is absolutely normal to have a bit of a panic when first confronted with a situation like this. But the best way to secure your future is to think clearly and move on.

(PS - if this sounds harsh, I want you to know that your ex is still a wanker and you are well shot of him)

Embracelife · 30/01/2021 23:23

@Mamamia456

If the house is in both names then no he cannot force you to sell it. Don't sign anything that he asks you to. Even if the house was in his name only I think you would still be entitled to live there until your youngest child was 18.

I would seek advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau and don't let him bully or frighten you into selling the house.

Yes he can go to court to force a,sale

Can you buy him out.?

Court can take childrens needs into account
You need to know
What is mortgage
What is equity?
What coukd you buy with your share equity?
Can you pay mortgage?
Are you working?
What can you rent or buy on your own?
What is his income and what child maintenance shoukd he be paying? Go to the calculator

Embracelife · 30/01/2021 23:25

What can you buy locally for 180k? For 90k?

DicklessWonder · 30/01/2021 23:29

Is he self employed or the director of a ltd company? They are legally very different.

Embracelife · 30/01/2021 23:29

How big is your house?
How big is mortgage?

...rent the average rental price for where I live is a thousand pounds a month for a two bed my mortgage is only £950 pounds.

Not much differencd between 1000 and 950.

Embracelife · 30/01/2021 23:30

If the mortgage is joint how coukd he get mortgahe holiday withput your signature?

PaterPower · 30/01/2021 23:38

I’m sure a court can’t take the children’s needs into account when the parties are not married.

The house will be treated as a joint investment and he will be able to force a sale through eventually. How long that would take, with Covid, is a guess although I’ve read that they’ve caught up with a lot of the civil backlog now.

OP, you need proper legal advice. You also need to get a CMS claim in. Yes he can “fiddle” things with dividends instead of salary, but what makes you think he’s not just going to leave you high and dry anyway after he’s forced the sale? From what you’ve already written, he’s intending to shaft you as soon as it’s done so you won’t gain anything by continuing to appease him.

Do you have any of his old financial records or proof of earnings from the last few years?

DicklessWonder · 30/01/2021 23:46

Dividends are not a fiddle. But she needs to clarify whether he is a company director (in which case dividends are relevant) or self employed/sole trader (in which case they aren’t).

Embracelife · 30/01/2021 23:46

You get a combined TOLATA /Childrens act case .

TOLATA is the trusts of land purely on house
Chikdrens Ct on child atrangement order and can for e ample set out that some equity goes towards the children
MeNing oo coukd arhie for more thzn 50% equity

Embracelife · 30/01/2021 23:47

Could argue
But you need barrister who knows both

Embracelife · 30/01/2021 23:49

Legally, in England and Wales, the problems faced by separated cohabitees are usually addressed through the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 (or ToLATA) or, where there are children of the family, through Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989.

For the English family lawyer, Schedule 1 claims forfinancial provision for childrenmight feel like more comfortable ground: they are governed by the Family Procedure Rules and fall firmly within the domain of the family, rather than the civil, lawyer. By contrast, ToLATA proceedings are governed by the civil procedure rules, rather than the family procedural rules, and will often be heard in the county court by a civil judge

Embracelife · 30/01/2021 23:50

So op coukd use svhedule 1 to get some equity for the dc from the sale
Hence needs legal advice

Mumblechum0 · 30/01/2021 23:56

You can apply for an order under Schedule 1 of the Children Act for an order delaying the sale of the house until your youngest is 18.

Depending on relative incomes, you may also get an order that he pays at least part of the mortgage

(Former family lawyer)

rawalpindithelabrador · 30/01/2021 23:59

Sorry but you really need to see a solicitor.

SunsetSenora · 31/01/2021 00:05

Some areas have family law centres which provide free or low cost advice. I would check that out or ask your local domestic abuse service what they may advise, they will be used to helping women whose husbands are trying to bully them financially. If he is really intending to make his children homeless, I cant imagine that would go down great in the courts.

mootymoo · 31/01/2021 00:09

He needs a court order to force the sale. You should urgently seek child maintenance in the interim, if he refuses to attend mediation to work out a fair amount/use the online calculator then you will need to go through cms. If he's self employed it can be harder so might be worth attempting to raise at the time of the court order for the house sale - they may be willing to award you more equity if he's unlikely to be forthcoming with maintenance

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 31/01/2021 00:28

Deep breaths. Remember there is currently a huge court backlog, so anything he tries to do here will be a lot slower than he thinks.

Is there any way for you to buy him out on the property? Do you have an OK credit score, how much of the mortgage remains to be paid off and what it that in terms of your income? Do you have family that are property owners who could help with that or who could co-sign with you (some mortgage providers will let you add multiple family members’ incomes and cash to it).

Put in a claim for child maintenance ASAP and get some legal advice. I don’t think you’d be able to block the sale but a lawyer will be able to help protect you.

What’s the cheapest house going in your rough area that would be suitable, even if not in good condition? Would this be something you could get a mortgage on with your half of the equity?