Can ex force house sale!

[Trolleydolly789]

Trolleydolly789
Some advise needed please. My ex and I parted ways last year after 16 years we have three children ranging from 16 down to 6 we jointly own our home but we’re never married. Ex agreed that rather than pay maintenance he would simply continue paying the mortgage until our youngest was in secondary a school we would then sell and split the money. He’s since met someone new and decided now he wants to sell straight away I have refused as he’s not paying maintenance & I haven’t asked for any extra help financially! After a lengthy discussion he agreed to keep the house on for three years but I would have to sign a legal document agreeing to sell at the end of the three years I asked if he would in return sign something to agree that once he stopped paying the mortgage he would then actually pay maintenance towards the upkeep of the kids! He’s refused! He’s now getting a court order to force the sale of the house immediately (despite me having in texts that he will continue to pay the mortgage) can get actually do this! I don’t have the financial clout he does and he doesn’t have his children for visits or overnights as he lives in a one bed apartment and won’t have them stay so I’m basically a single parent and I get no financial help from him other than him paying the mortgage! I’m beside myself with worry the thought of having to leave my home after everything we’ve been through already what with the stress of the split and lockdown I genuinely feel like I’m at breaking point!

I currently live in a four bed I have a daughter and two sons so they don’t share bedrooms. The house is valued at £490k we live thirty miles from London so the cheapest three beds are around £450k to buy and to rent something similar I’m looking at £1300 my current mortgage is £990 so I’d be paying much more for much less! I’d get roughly £85k in equity there’s £270k left on mortgage I’m sole carer for the children he’s made it clear he doesn’t want them so my salary goes on childcare whilst I work and their basic food clothing and needs I struggle and it’s only going to get worse by the time I’ve found solicitors to sell removal companies rent deposits I’ll have nothing left

OP you really need to gather all your strength and stop being intimidated by this nasty bullying little pig.
Hes threatening to force the sale of yours and your children's home by applying for a court order. I'd let him get the ball rolling and see how big his balls really are.
You have 3 children who need to be housed and provided for and someone has to do this. Any court in the land will put the needs of your children first. If you don't want to sell the house then don't. Explain your reasons why. If he applies for a court order he is going to be paying every step of the way. You arnt bringing the court order so flatly refuse to pay for a thing. He is talking utter rubbish to say you will be liable for his costs. As a single parent of 3 children you need to retain money not lose anymore.
If he eventually gets to the point of forcing you to sell, disagree on everything from the get go. What estate agent to market with. The asking price etc etc. What to accept.
Drag it out as long as possible if you want to stay in the house. Look into any Universal Credit that you may be entitled to aswell. Goodluck

How much is a 3 bed flat in the area—for 3 smaller rooms, no garden, kitchen/reception all one room? I’m sure you’d be able to buy for significantly less than that if you compromised a bit more on the looks of it or the space?

If you have 85k equity and assuming you’re on around 40k you should be able to borrow around 160 (if you can get help with childcare?) is there anything possible for 250? Do you have an family who could co-sign so you could get a bigger mortgage or boost your deposit?

Could you get a 2 bed where the reception room can be used as a third bedroom, if it has a larger kitchen that can also be used as sitting room? 2 bed used as 3 bed would get you more in an affordable zone?

@Zerrin13 this would be an order for sale under the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996. It would be treated as a civil case not a “family” one. It is entirely possible for costs orders to be made against the “losing” party.

And conduct such as “dragging things out” during the court proceedings would be taken into account.

I also think you need to try to calm down a bit, you’re caught up in the emotion of it and not thinking logically

If he has a successful business he will have filed returns, so no he can’t just hide his earnings.

Secondly yes of course he can force a sale, but he will have to have it court ordered. And no he can’t make you pay for that.

You need to seek legal advise. And ideally the two of you need to sit down and talk and come to an agreement. You cannot demand he keeps paying the mortgage, he cannot refuse to pay child maintenance. You both need to seek a compromise position and potentially mediation is the first step here to try to help you both to do this.

@MooseBeTimeForSummer

And conduct such as “dragging things out” during the court proceedings would be taken into account.

Yes it would and that post was terrible advice.

Couple of points.
Yes he can go to court to force a sale. And yes sometimes this will be agreed. Often not with caveats.
Secondly, him only paying the mortgage, I assume directly, gives him a good argument that he should have more the equity, rather than him paying maintenance to you and you paying the mortgage directly.
Even with evidence of him saying he'll hide his income etc for maintenance purposes, its rarely acted on and sadly covid will be a great reason why his income is lower etc and that'll sets the precedence moving forward...
It sounds as though his new partner is exerting pressure tbh, as she obviously sees him as such a good parent!
You need advice. But tbh, in your position, I'd look at moving further away from London where you can afford to live. It's not as though you need to really consider the travel for contact.

It sounds as though his new partner is exerting pressure tbh, as she obviously sees him as such a good parent

Why do some women twist things so they can try to blame the woman? There is not one thing the op had said that indicates the new partner is in any way shape nor form to blame here,

He can force the sale. Either by you buying him out / him buying you out or selling on the market if neither of you can buy eachother out. I've personally experienced this

@Bluntness100

It sounds as though his new partner is exerting pressure tbh, as she obviously sees him as such a good parent

Why do some women twist things so they can try to blame the woman? There is not one thing the op had said that indicates the new partner is in any way shape nor form to blame here,

Really? No link and I quote the op, "He’s since met someone new and decided now he wants to sell straight away"....

I forced the sale of a marital home through the courts. XH had refused to sell as yet another form of control. If you want to challenge this, heed the advice to get legal help.

@motherextraodinaire You're putting it down to malignancy of the new woman tho, rather than a natural progression that the man will want to move on from the current financial arrangements when his life moves on.

It was never realistic that he would continue to pay the mortgage for the long term while he lives in a one bedroom apartment and doesn't even have the space to have his children overnight if he wanted to.

Really? No link and I quote the op, "He’s since met someone new and decided now he wants to sell straight away

How does that remotely suggest the woman is to blame and not he doesn’t want to set up home with her and it’s him?

apply for child maintenance now he has broken the agreement.

Let him apply to force a sale but fight it all the way on the basis or needing a suitable home for the children, his previous agreement and the fact the he does not pay child maintenance.

It might well be that you will need to move to a cheaper area though eventually to accommodate you and the three children.

Please get legal advice before fighting things, yes you can have costs ordered against you.

I would also be looking at job opportunities in a cheaper part of the country.

My ex tried to drag things out, and I was about to go back to court for enforcement of the Court order forcing sale. He waited until 4.50pm on the agreed day of exchange before signing. Had he not signed then I would have asked the court to exclude him from the sale altogether, and the Court has power to do this. Including signing papers and agreeing the sale price. I would also have been almost certainly entitled to the costs of the application from him. So be carful OP x

[quote MooseBeTimeForSummer]@Zerrin13 this would be an order for sale under the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996. It would be treated as a civil case not a “family” one. It is entirely possible for costs orders to be made against the “losing” party.[/quote]
Op's solicitor or barrister can counter with claim under childrens act to provide for dc .So op could argue for most of equity for example.
Needs to see a sollcitor.
Needs to run through all options.
Needs to claim cms.

Legally, in England and Wales, the problems faced by separated cohabitees are usually addressed through the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 (or ToLATA) or, where there are children of the family, through Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989.
You can have a combined case heard.

@MadeForThis

If he is self employed then he will be able to pay himself an extremely low salary and avoid proper maintenance. If he is PAYE then maintenance can be taken at source.

He can force the sale. But let him take you to court to do it. Don't just walk away from your home.

I agree. Let him spend his money. Surely he won’t be able to hide his earnings in court.

OP, you need to get a grip pronto! As a matter of urgency start the child maintenance claim today and get a proper legal advice. Yes, of course he can force the sale of the house, but he needs to go to court and you need to be prepared. Get a lawyer to tell you what can you realistically achieve.

Also lots of people move house
Lots of kids move house
The "home" is where you make it
What size mortgage could you get?
Keeping house with him just delays the sale. And keeps hishold over you
A smaller place all yours long term would be better

I am almost word for word in the same situation as you OP; I have booked an appointment with a solicitor for tomorrow. As far as I can understand it from my internet searches, he can absolutely force a sale but as a pp has said, you can bring a counter claim under schedule 1 of the children’s act. I’m just hoping a solicitor will agree to fight this for me and not tell me just to sell and go quietly.

Unfortunately I won’t have enough equity or earnings to get a mortgage so I’d be forced to rent with my children whilst my ex has a house with his partner already and wishes to buy another.

Is the new partner a nurse?