Can ex force house sale!

[Trolleydolly789]

Trolleydolly789
Some advise needed please. My ex and I parted ways last year after 16 years we have three children ranging from 16 down to 6 we jointly own our home but we’re never married. Ex agreed that rather than pay maintenance he would simply continue paying the mortgage until our youngest was in secondary a school we would then sell and split the money. He’s since met someone new and decided now he wants to sell straight away I have refused as he’s not paying maintenance & I haven’t asked for any extra help financially! After a lengthy discussion he agreed to keep the house on for three years but I would have to sign a legal document agreeing to sell at the end of the three years I asked if he would in return sign something to agree that once he stopped paying the mortgage he would then actually pay maintenance towards the upkeep of the kids! He’s refused! He’s now getting a court order to force the sale of the house immediately (despite me having in texts that he will continue to pay the mortgage) can get actually do this! I don’t have the financial clout he does and he doesn’t have his children for visits or overnights as he lives in a one bed apartment and won’t have them stay so I’m basically a single parent and I get no financial help from him other than him paying the mortgage! I’m beside myself with worry the thought of having to leave my home after everything we’ve been through already what with the stress of the split and lockdown I genuinely feel like I’m at breaking point!

I agree with others that you need legal advice, especially as you aren't married and he has been paying the mortgage directly, unfortunately even though this was in lieu of CMS, that likely won't be taken into account. I would also start the wheels with CMS to claim, presumably he hasn't been sorting his income up to this point just in case he was one day asked for it, so his plan might not be as easy as he thinks.

Sorry but the hard reality is yes he can force the sale of the house.

There is some horrendous shit advice on here about being awkward and dragging it out whilst it will feel good and may seem a victory .
The courts will see it for what it is and you will have to pay extra cost complete home goal and only delays the inevertable

I know it's not what you want hear but sell the house and get maintenace .

Child maintenance and the house are two different matters.

Call CMS out in a claim and give them all the evidence you have of his telling you he will hide his income.

Pay for a solicitor and get legal advice on your house, he can force the sale on the house. Get legal advice and get the best for you and your DC out of it.

Either way you know he’s not to be trusted and isn’t paying for the mortgage anyway.

Quite apart from anything else, OP, a situation where he's paying the mortgage for the house you live in puts you in an extremely precarious position. If at any point he didn't pay it, that would have implications for your housing and your credit rating, since your name is also on everything. If he were a well-intentioned and fundamentally decent father just trying to help out his family then maybe it could be a good arrangement, but it doesn't sound at all as though he is. I get that this is scary, but looking at the bigger picture it would be very much better, and would remove a lot of potential power for him to disrupt your life, for you to untangle your finances from his.

He has set a precedent by showing he is financially able to pay the mortgage on the fmh. So clearly he has proved that he can indeed afford to pay CM at the due rate.
This would be your argument in court.
He does not get to call the shots and dictate things, ignore the threats and get some free legal advice. This is possible at most solicitors...a free initial consultation.
My ex owned his own LTD business and yes the income he actually declared was kept low to avoid paying tax, then taking the rest as dividends. You can insist the CMS take his dividends in to account and he will have to provide proof. This is what I did.
He will have to file his business accounts with Companies House, you can obtain copies quite cheaply.
I was married and the Judge ordered that the fmh be sold once my children reached the age of 18 years old.

Over 5 years I self represented in court 5 times as I could not afford to be represented.
It took over my life, but you find the strength when you are fighting for your own and your children's future.
Good luck.

I have skimmed the whole thread, so sorry if I've missed something, but I was in the same boat even down to the deposit, although we were married. He absolutely can force the sale by default, all he has to do is stop paying the mortgage. That's what my ex did despite a verbal agreement to pay half until my youngest was 18. You can't force someone to pay a mortgage they don't want to pay and as I couldn't manage it on my own we've had to sell up. He now rents with his girlfriend and pleads perma poverty and I'm moving into a rented rabbit hutch with the kids.

Do you have access to his finances? Any joint bank accounts to prove earnings?

@Zerrin13

OP you really need to gather all your strength and stop being intimidated by this nasty bullying little pig. Hes threatening to force the sale of yours and your children's home by applying for a court order. I'd let him get the ball rolling and see how big his balls really are. You have 3 children who need to be housed and provided for and someone has to do this. Any court in the land will put the needs of your children first. If you don't want to sell the house then don't. Explain your reasons why. If he applies for a court order he is going to be paying every step of the way. You arnt bringing the court order so flatly refuse to pay for a thing. He is talking utter rubbish to say you will be liable for his costs. As a single parent of 3 children you need to retain money not lose anymore. If he eventually gets to the point of forcing you to sell, disagree on everything from the get go. What estate agent to market with. The asking price etc etc. What to accept. Drag it out as long as possible if you want to stay in the house. Look into any Universal Credit that you may be entitled to aswell. Goodluck

If op is seen to be obstructing the sale she most definitely can be ordered to pay costs. Not a smart move.

As you are married, the starting point for equity split is according to how you set up ownership - usually 50/50 unless you ringfenced the deposit you paid.

PPs have mentioned TOLATA, a good place to start. And cms. Not idea if you suspect he will fiddle the books, but what does the calculator say - what's his salary op?

It will take a long time to get to court. What does he earn? You can apply to CMS for maintenance in the meantime.

OP isn’t married to her ex. It’s not a divorce financial settlement situation.

OP you need to seek legal advice.

They weren't married.

It would have probably been better for her to agree to him continuing to pay the mortgage for three more years. It was silly to try to get him to sign something to say he'd pay child support afterwards, because he's legally obliged to anyway so she could have crossed that bridge when she came to it.

But what's done is done. Legal advice and hope for the best, plan for the worst.

He’s said that if it goes to court he will pass the costs to me and it will come out of my share of the house so I’ll be even worse off! He’s self employed and will avoid maintenance if I file a claim it will just antagonise him and he will be more spiteful I don’t have a leg to stand on! Even with the equity in my home I won’t be able to afford to buy again and I’ll be paying more in rent I’m 43 and to old to start again I feel like this is the of the road for me I’ve failed my children they are going to lose their home their friends and their safe space and I’m going to struggle financially whilst he lives his best life thumbing his nose at the system and avoiding his responsibilities to his children

Pretty much me. I came home to my house with a 'for sale' board already erected, with no idea that this was happening. If I didn't sell he threatened to move the OW in with us.

However, I let him sell the house and have his clean break.
Yes, I had to move areas, move the kids school, buy a different smaller house....but do you know...the BEST thing I ever did.

I'm free of him and his controlling ways (and he hates that more than anything) ..he can't move in, he can't threaten to have a key cut for what he considered 'his' house.
I make my own decisions in my own house.