Last night felt like the final straw for me however I ended up back home. It all started by me asking for the phone charger so I can get a bit off charge so I can set my alarm so I can't get up in the morning.
He wanted the charger back after 5 mins so wouldn't of been enough charge! This spiralled buy him pushing me of the bed into the wardrobe. Screaming in my face.
I packed mine and the kids things up managed to finally get past him and get them into the car this is when he shows me that I'm no longer on the car insurance he took me of weeks ago and forgot to add me back. Ive been driving round for weeks with no insurance. I ended up driving round the corner and just sat in Asda car park baring in mind this was 3 in the morning.
I came home at half 5 now I'm WFH on 2 hours sleep I'm so angry but I managed to get myself a charger so he no longer has that control over me now.
I just want out!! I'm so desperate my poor poor kids having to witness this shit all the time. It's my payday today so he goes to be hanging round me like a fly on shit.
I need to make a plan and leave this weekend as I'm off work but I have no where to go.
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I tried to leave OH last night and ended up back home!
tiredandfrumpy · 28/01/2021 08:18
You can do this OP.
Get proof you paid for your can.
It's more abuuse that he has taken it.
Report last nights assault PLEASE.
Get all your paperwork.
Tell your employer.
On a practical note, if your money goes into a joint account, change your bank details at your employer (let them know why, if you have to) so all your salary goes into your own account.
Also change your paperwork options such as at the bank, so they are all online instead of being sent to the house.
I hope you get some help from Women's Aid. They do have different pricing for if you're employed or not, however, unless the rules have changed in the past few months, you can't claim benefits if you've intentionally made yourself unemployed, so unless you were moved into a refuge too far from your work to commute, you might struggle to get benefits. Let WA know the car situation, some branches have a minibus, van or similar which they could help you out with. Otherwise, once you know where you're going, packing the bare minimum and moving by public transport/taxi is hard but doable.
If no joy with WA, get onto the council and declare homelessness. They have a statutory duty to house you and your children. There are other refuges in some areas, which aren't run by WA, the council can help you with these.
Don't be afraid to walk away without your belongings. You and the kids' safety is more important, and you can call the police and ask them to attend if you need to return to the property in the future to collect your stuff.
Good luck.
The above is not true. He could go for 50% as SAHP , but if his bluff was called he may well not go through with that anyway.
The threat of taking the children is one of the tactics men like this use, and the OP will be frightened enough of that without people trying to advise on this thread and bringing that up - it is almost doing his job for him!
OP, take advice from women’s aid or a similar agency, who will be more than used to these type of threats if he does ever make them. With that support, and if you are not working, you will then get legal aid to support you and you can take advice from a solicitor who will advice specific to your situation and, again, will be more than used to dealing with this type of man and his entirely predictable patterns of behaviour. You won’t be alone, and you can do this, one step at a time.
If leaving work is what you want to do to cope and survive during this time, then do it. Getting out is most important now, and keeping your head above water emotionally. You can work again in future, again, taking steps one day at a time
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