Online dating in your 40s - part 3!

[StarlightSparkle]

A new thread, so we can continue discussing the depressing reality of the above!

@Zoomme literally just telling you “I’m watching x” and no follow up is a conversation killer for sure.

@Shayelle2009, I’m still doing the work here, basically prompted him to ask me to do something and he replied “Is there anything you would like to do? And when?”
Any opinions on this?

@havecourage children usually come up early on in the conversation for me now but maybe not as much when I first started tinder. That’s not much help, sorry.
I’d also advise having a few conversations at the same time. How are you getting on?

@onemorerose 👍 it's passing the time for me and alleviating some of the boredom of this lockdown. I only message after 8pm when my daughter is in bed, I think if I was messaging throughout the day it would wreck my head waiting for a reply😅 Sometimes I think the guy I'm chatting to is nice and interesting and other times I think he is slightly weird🤔 I guess you would never really know til you met up.

@onemorerose whats it like when youre with him? Do you have a good time? Is he interesting? Fun? Funny? Clever? Guess you have to feel if hes bringing something to your life or not.. if he is, then I wouldn't mind being the one directing at first.

I guess he’s bringing a welcome distraction to my small world at the minute. And I enjoy his company, but I enjoy any new company right now. I already know he’s not a long term prospect which suits me fine.

@havecourage would you like to go for a walk with him?

I've kept this to myself this week for obvious reasons. I woke up on Monday to a message from Mr Computer Geek, it seems my pyscho bitch from hell routine didn't phase him, in fact he was more concerned with how I was. He started opening up to me and told me he was the reason his relationship ended(I reckon he cheated, that would explain the lack of social media too), but he now needs to start looking to the future. Yesterday he told me that his ex told him last week that there was no chance of them getting back together, he had always hoped that they would for the kids and work it all out. He said he was heartbroken(I actually cried as it brought back all my memories of wanting my ex just to say let's give it another go). I should be annoyed as whilst chatting to me and arranging to meet he was hoping to get back with his ex. I'm not though because I know what it's like to be heartbroken, it's the most unimaginable pain I have ever experienced. It has only been 10 months for him so still early days, they've also had to deal with cancer in that time. So yes he was hiding something but it wasn't because he was with someone or not who he said. I'm not sure where that leaves us or what if anything to do now(he wanted to meet on Sunday but I'm not sure if that's a good idea right now), I think at the moment he just needs and wants company, and to feel wanted again (I know that feeling all too well), one thing we both said and agreed on was that whatever we decide to do can't mess us up(we are both pretty fragile). But I've got there, I've had closure of sorts.

Hey @onemorerose well its nice if you get on and he's easy company. Its hard at the minute isnt it and I know what you mean about just enjoying it for what it is right now.
Ive matched again with a guy I had a nice connection with for a year but we never met and it fizzled. He's fit as fuck and really nice, haha wish me luck!

Hey @Isitreally7777 I hope you feel ok. You just have to think... that you might not even feel anything for him if and when you meet. He might be nothing like you imagine (people rarely are are they, i find?) then you'll have wasted all your emotions. Watch you dont be the rebound x

Do you know what if he wants to meet sunday why dont you just suggest a walk and coffee but limit it to 1 or 2 hours so you can get to see what hes really about before getting in any further?

@Shayelle2009 I'm good thank you. I always said I don't want to be someones rebound, I don't want to get hurt again. I've actually suggested that if he still wants to meet we just meet for a chat so as not to complicate things especially after what he told me yesterday. He definitely isn't ready for anything more.

Well at least you know that now and its not all a mystery with you wondering whats going on. Personally id just want to get the meet out the way you might be all naaaah afterwards!!

@Shayelle2009 Yes it actually feels a lot less confusing now, it explains a lot of things too. I'm just waiting to see what he wants to do about meeting. After all talking to him in person might be as exciting as watching paint dry so best to meet sooner as you say.

@Angelofdeath thank you. I appreciate everything you have said with regards to this and I do take it all in. This time I know he isn't ready so I'm not even going to attempt anything with him and am not even holding out much hope on meeting just yet. I believe he is being honest though.

Just matched with someone, his second message was to ask me if I have ever had a fight with another woman, as he has a fetish for it.....then proceeded to tell me he wasnt a weirdo!
@Isitreally7777 - I am with @Angelofdeath, I hope we are both proved wrong!
@Shayelle2009 - I am feeling a lot better thank you :)

Im currently speaking to a farmer, he is local and can spell, not sure I fancy him though, but he is typing more than 1 word answers....Im sure it will have died a death by 4pm

@pineappleonpizzaornot it might occupy a Friday night! Stick with it x

@pineappleonpizzaornot and I am so grateful for all the support. I completely get where everyone is coming from too.

pineapple I'd call that a weirdo!

I've had two new ones contact me today, exchanged a few messages with one, he said it would be nice to chat later, so we'll see. At least he can spell and does ask some questions, if not volunteering very much info.

I've replied to the other one's message, but not heard anything back yet. He matched with me over 24 hours ago and I wasn't sure about him, so decided to wait and see if he'd message first

@Isitreally7777 we are all here to support each other, no judgments

@Angelofdeath so this is the one i had a connection with this time last year, we’ve reconnected which i always wanted and we’ve been chatting away all day, its nice quite a lot of flirting and sparky unlike mr work which was so formal and dry! Ill call him mr JD
Hows yours today, any new ones popped up?

Glad youre feeling better @pineappleonpizzaornot just in time for the weekend

@ivegotthisyeah and @Zoomme hope your chats and meets are going ok

@Isitreally7777 yes do go and meet with him and get that out of the way, even if only on a friends basis.

@Shayelle2009 mr jd sounds fun and like he’s potential, keep updating.

@pineappleonpizzaornot if that’s not weird I don’t know what is 😂😂

Thanks @onemorerose theres been a few times we’ve nearly met but never got round to it. I wanted to go to a bar but with lockdown after lockdown it never happened. Maybe this year .....

Its fun @Angelofdeath but I dont think it will come to anything.. just giggles, he’s funny which is nice.
Let us know if he reappears

Thanks everyone not quite sure this weekend is the right time to meet Mr Computer Geek especially after everything he told me this week, so I'm actually bailing on meeting him tomorrow(not bailing on him just meeting him right now). I think he needs a bit more time and this weekend isn't the right time.