Online dating in your 40s - part 3!

[StarlightSparkle]

A new thread, so we can continue discussing the depressing reality of the above!

@OutingMyself my go to is something about their profile, and at the minute is how they are getting on in lock down. Prob boring but usually gets a convo going.

I had a nice night and it wasn’t bad sex, just a lot of room for improvement lol. In the past I just haven’t met men again unless the sex was amazing so I’m really not sure. I should have guessed really, on dates he was very “whatever you want to do”, it transferred to the bedroom.

@Angelofdeath i just dont want to think too much into it. Ive just been having these niggling thoughts about how friendly he was with a married woman in the office a couple of years ago and thinking why did he seem so into her when he’d met me before her? I know 100% nothing happened between them as im good mates with her and she's happily married but i remember feeling a bit gutted as he seemed to be so into her. I dont know why im just being a bit negative today 😟 am i being silly and pathetic? I would never want to be anyone’s ‘make do’ as the 1st prize was unavailable.

@onemorerose thats nice that guys seem to be going well, what was it that wasnt great, maybe it was just first time nerves/awkwardness kind of thing?

@Angelofdeath i really like your strategy with messaging men i might have to borrow that!! Thats really wise!

Sorry @onemorerose youd already answered my comment above.. didnt see the further messages. Maybe hes a bit unconfident and just doesnt want to mess it up?

Thanks for the suggestions.

I've bored another one off now 🙄

Ah, name change fail 😁

Well we talked about it last night, I said what bit I really enjoyed and he said that bit his favourite as well. So that’s why I think there may be promise? I had to take control basically the whole time and I prefer a man to be more assertive in bed. From chatting he does seem to be assertive in work etc but did say to me that he wasn’t that confident. Also, I have to say it, he wasn’t as big as I’d like 🙈 call me shallow!!

He was sweet after, I fell asleep cuddled up which was nice but a bad sign as if the sex was great I’d be more like hurry up and get ready to go again.

Lol definitely outing yourself there, ask them to delete if you need to @OutingMyself

And I don’t think you can bore someone off if they are interested? And I wish I’d listen to my own advice 😂

It doesn't matter that much really :)

Well I either bored him or he realised he wasn't interested. Same difference from my end! I dont know. Its all so draining.

I've had a message from another guy but I've just noticed 'naughty' amongst a list of bonus features he's looking for. As well as some other things I'm not.

The dreaded 'not as big as I'd hoped' 😆

@OutingMyself it is truly draining. My head is messed up from the amount of ghosters I’ve had.

Lol, so disappointing 🙈

The guy from last night that I thought I'd pissed off by falling asleep has just got back to me now. I definitely think there's a certain kind of guy who only messages once it gets dark!

I agree @OutingMyself they reappear at certain times hoping for some titillation haha 😂

Hi @Angelofdeath i just think they are good thoughtful first questions to set you in a certain direction and just think its a great strategy as like you said you can work out quite a hefty chunk about them just from those first initial questions!

Think im just having a low day in general feeling a bit teary... i think i wont write it off but i think id definitely to being that up if he did ever say anything about us going out, if he doesnt then all well and good and it will just be another friend... but if anything develops i am going to have to mention it or find a way to lightly air it. I find him really easy to chat to so hopefully it would be ok.

@Angelofdeath have you ever tried Hinge? I found that the best for your more ‘thinking woman’s man’ rather than the gristleheads on pof and the likes... if youve not tried it have a look, just from personal experience i liked it and was seeing someone from a few months off of it.

Hinge is free! I wouldnt pay for of them either (paid £20 for a month on match - never again! Lasted 2 days before deleting in horror haha!!) I just think hinge seems to attract more genuine kind of guys.. was just thinking it could be worth a try, its always the one i go back to as from my experience of them all there are more decent guys on there.
Yeah think I will know more these coming weeks after his schedule of chats goes on! Ill get more of a sense then i guess. Its peeing me off the way its got into my head, got to not get carried away!! 🙄

Can I join in please. I've had some terrible times, am only on Hinge now, still not sure it's any better than Tinder though tbh

@Angelofdeath there was no mention of size or sex talk, should that now be a red flag too 😂🤯 well at least we can communicate so that’s something.

@OutingMyself I only really go on the apps in the evening, I wouldn’t discount him yet especially as you were the one that stopped chatting last night.

@Shayelle2009 I wouldn’t worry too much about mr work having fancied someone else in his life. Just see what happens and what way it’s headed?

Hi @Ingridla welcome *waves

@onemorerose its more the fact that he seemed to show way more interest in my friend whos happily married than me at that time, but yeah gonna just see how things pan out and if i get a sense he is showing interest romantically i will mention it in some way..cross that bridge if and when i come to it.

Im feeling kind of invested now @Angelofdeath! Obvs let me know everything!!!