Tell me to ignore this Facebook post from DM

[Sickoffamilydrama]

My DM posted this and tagged DSis & I in.

I already know she can be immature and thoughtless although I don't perceive it's done or of malice, just immaturity.

Anyway I've slept on it and it's still getting to me and I find it hurtful even though it's a small thing.

I think it's because it's not a competition and I would never compete with my DDs in fact they are and should be the best of me & in sure are way cooler than me & even if they weren't cool ( not that I even like making that kind of value judgement) I'd not dream of making any kind of comparison.

Also Dsis and I have never treated her as if she didn't have a life before us.

Anyway do I raise it with her or file in the she's immature and ignore?

I'm wondering if I'm being immature by finding it hurtful and I need to deal with my emotions and it. Problem is I always seem to have to do that and I sometimes think that's not healthy.

Definitely ignore it. Clearly a joke and lighthearted. If it bothers you that much, just unfriend her. I deactivated my Facebook 4 years ago and have zero regrets. I wish everyone would do the same.

There's clearly a much bigger backstory here, but this post in and of itself wouldn't bother me at all. It's just silly.

I have no idea why you've taken this to heart. It, and similar, have been doing the rounds for years.

Why are you upset?

I deactivated my Facebook 4 years ago and have zero regrets. I wish everyone would do the same.

I while heartedly agree. I deleted my account 9 years ago and it was a great decision. Facebook causes more problems than it's worth.

I don’t see the problem with it. It’s a lighthearted social media post, really not worth getting worked up over.

Isnt it referring to your gran though? Her mum.

So I dont get why it could be misconstrued as you vs her...or your kids vs you.

Without some serious backstory I wouldn't consider that hurtful or immature. Or read any of the deeper meaning you have.

Unless there is a huge back story I can't see what would be hurtful about this. It's obviously intended to be lighthearted.

If you don't think she intended to upset you I'd just ignore it.

I completely get how passive aggressive posts on social media come across if you have a strained relationship, but I couldn't get worked up about that tbh.
Although, I think the type of person to post crap like this probably didn't do any of those things, in reality. She probably lived a boring, very regular life and is trying to big it up.

I think you are being a bit over=sensitive. It's supposed to be funny. No need to make a deal out of it, even if you don't see the funny side.

I don't see anything wrong with it?

Umm. My immediate thought was 1. It seems very lighthearted and 2. It sounds like she's posting it more to reminisce/remind you two of her in her youth.

I'm in my twenties and if my mum posted this (for some reason I'm assuming it's about her rather than your grandma) I'd think it was cute and the sought of silly social media-ey thing an older person would post

Malice ? Hurtful ? Immature ? Unless there is a huge backstory you are being completely ridiculous. I am in my 60s and if I tagged in my 30 something year old DD in that she would find it highly amusing and probably tease me a bit about the clothes I wore .

I can’t really see how this is any different to 90’s kids memes and those “I grew up playing outside and living dangerously” posts, it looks like a celebration of her own past but as PP said if there is a back story here perhaps that’s affecting how you read this?

Seriously, OP, what do you find malicious in it? I have friends who post this stuff all the time. It's all about nostalgia and looking back at the people they/we used to be and how times have changed. I've never for a second thought of it being anything more. It's just naive meme stuff.

I think we need to know the back story.

No it's not about my Nan it's definitely about her.

Thanks all I'll take on board the you are being to sensitive posts.
I think my gauge is off as she does often do slightly thoughtless things & there's a back story of her being emotionally immature and exposing us to things to early and not really teaching us boundaries or respecting ours.

Interestingly both DSis and I found it irritating and we have noticed she always used to tell us how slim and beautiful she was that her waist was the circumference of a man's hands and as teens whilst we were both very healthy and not overweight neither of us were a size 6-8. In fact I can remember friends borrowing their mothers clothes and me feeling I was huge because I couldn't fit her clothes.

I'm not sure if she did it because she was comparing us or just she does seem to live on stories usually around her beauty when she was young.

Thanks all for the head wobble sometimes these things are hard.

It's just light hearted nostalgia, I wouldn't say it was a dig at you. It's more about realising that your old grandma was once a young & cool girl without a care in the world. Their generation's clothes & music still influences today's clothes and music, that's what it's about, nostalgia for their young & heady days

I think the comment "Read it and weep girls 😘" is the part that makes it look like it could be, I don't know, snidy in some way? On the whole, I wouldn't have read into it, but I don't know what your history is with her.

It seems like a very over the top reaction on your part I'm afraid. I'm not sure how she is making a dig at anyone tbh?

Your mum might be a pain in the ass, but on the basis of this, I would definitely let it go.

Very gently your mum is human just like you. Just as you allow yourself mistakes, learning and growing, allow it for your mum to.

Nobody had a child and got given all the right answers.

@Plonque

I completely get how passive aggressive posts on social media come across if you have a strained relationship, but I couldn't get worked up about that tbh. Although, I think the type of person to post crap like this probably didn't do any of those things, in reality. She probably lived a boring, very regular life and is trying to big it up.

I love this post

I understand where you’re coming from OP, it’s the ‘read it and weep’ comment at the top my mum can sometimes have that competitive edge with me too (although it’s definitely simmered as she gets older). She’s always been slim and used to make a lot of digs at me about it in a weirdly competitive way. I remember once joining slimming world because I was slightly overweight and wanted to lose a bit, and her response was to dig out photos of her in a bikini at the same age to show me how skinny she was. I’ve always found it an odd way to be and vowed I wouldn’t repeat it with my own dd. Anyway, I’d just ignore the Facebook post and let it go over your head but I do get what you’re talking about!

Can't see anything wrong with this at all

It’s lighthearted. It’s nostalgia.

You’re reading too much into it.