Is this strange? Hubbys friend?

[Lullaby88]

So one my hubbys friends im finding a bit odd. He is very helpful and friendly and I have nothing against him. We have been over to eachothers houses and had meals. he is married with kids. Me and his wife dont really get on in the sense we are just very formal to eachother. She seems quite aloof tbh. We just meet for the sake of our husbands to chatter.
Anyway whenever Iv been out on my own for a walk with my child which id routinely do everyday we would always bump into eachother as in he would be driving and id be walking. Maybe he would be coming back from work to have lunch as it was always the same time. He would slow the car and look and smile. Which i thought was kind of him so id smile back. But it was like allll the time and he would stare, slow down and he also began waving. So id wave back and smile. Now all that is fine.. but the strange thing is when my husband is around he literally wont bat an eyelid my way or even speak to me. Once me, him and hubby were standing together and he just blanked me out completly. This has been happening for ages now. Mayb im overthinking? So havent mentioned it to hubby as its all a bit cringe to think or mention it!

Are you saying you think he's attracted to you?

Yes but it feels terrible to assume it.

Trust your gut with this guy I think.

Next time you're all together, slip in the odd ''Hi Bob, how are you ? I was telling DH that DC and I seem to keep seeing you driving home for lunch , lol ! You must be a lover of routine too eh ?

Sounds like the storyline from Love Actually with Kiera Knightley. Guy secretly in love with best friends wife. She thinks he doesn't like her because he acts so negative around her aka hiding his feelings.

Or, maybe when he sees you out & about he makes a conscious effort to be pleasant but when he's with his friend he doesn't need to make that same effort because you aren't really the person he is there to interact with? You're the primary character when he sees you alone, and the secondary character when your husband is there.

I guess I never saw it that way! But id be friendly and say hi and he wont even smile at me in the presence of my DH.
Once he was waving at my hubby, my hubby had his hand on the steering wheel so I waved at him as he does it so regular. And my DH was like why the heck u waving at him for? And i said oh he waves at me everyday. And my DH was like oh thats quite odd. And he didnt look too happy about it. Just went quiet.

It does all sound a bit odd. And immature on his part.

Frankly if he can’t be bothered to actually greet you when your H is there, I would stop acknowledging him when he drives past. You get nothing from the acquaintance either from him or his wife by the sound of it so in your shoes I would stop putting any energy into it at all.

He sounds like a creep, OP.
Maybe try making friends with his wife. You might think she's aloof but she might be shy or downtrodden by him.

It's odd, whether the reasons behind it are intentionally creepy or not.
Personally, I'd tell my dh in a neutral way what you have seen and just don't include yourself in their evenings. I wouldn't spend an evening in the company of another person I had no real connection to just do my husband can have time with a friend. He's not a child needing a playdate. Leave them to it and spend your evening having a nice soak in the bath instead, much better use of time. I'm sure she won't mind and whatever this guy has going on in his head will be deprived of fuel.

I think you are reading too much into it . If you know him and he totally ignored you when driving past I would think it more odd.

But then we cant see the way he smiles at you .

@Dery

It does all sound a bit odd. And immature on his part.

Frankly if he can’t be bothered to actually greet you when your H is there, I would stop acknowledging him when he drives past. You get nothing from the acquaintance either from him or his wife by the sound of it so in your shoes I would stop putting any energy into it at all.

This. But I would also chat to dh so that can't make to him it the change to be a rudeness on your part (just in case he is a grade a nutter)

Your husband finds it odd if you wave at a mutual friend and questions you? That’s the oddest bit!

He fancies you and his wife isn't daft. That's why she's cool with you. Poor woman - he's probably got form for this sort of thing.

Change the time of day of your walk? Or change your route?

Going on your last update, could he avoid engaging you in conversation around DH as he is a bit possessive? I'm not sure why DH would automatically be displeased that a friend who comes round regularly waves at you in passing, if they take the same route.

That said, if you find it odd, and I do believe the gut should be listened to, i would try to bring it out in the open, perhaps mention it in front of your partners next time you meet (could be a while away with Covid, granted). Just say something like 'i seem to see you every morning, have you been going into work in person throughout?' Or 'how do you always manage to look so cheerful on a workday, Bob?!'.

In the meantime, could you try a different time or route for your walks? Not suggesting that he's a risk, but just to try and see him less if it's making you uneasy.

Aside from the fact he ignores you when you're with DH which is just pig ignorant and I'm not sure why you bother. Why did you husband ask why you were waving at him when he waved at him in the car? You socialise with him why would he think it's odd?
The whole set up sounds weird to me

Are you sure it is him? Could be his doppelganger that you are waving at.

Has he known your DH longer then you and is it possible your DH has had words with him being too friendly in his eyes around you or a previous partner in the past?
Why else would your DH care about you waving at his friend?

I’d change my route - he may be a chancer.

Maybe your DH is having an affair, and he knows but you don't.

I don't understand why your husband would be weird about you waving at a friend of his that you have socialised with
That's fairly usual behaviour, isn't it?
To acknowledge people we know?

@Lullaby88

I guess I never saw it that way! But id be friendly and say hi and he wont even smile at me in the presence of my DH. Once he was waving at my hubby, my hubby had his hand on the steering wheel so I waved at him as he does it so regular. And my DH was like why the heck u waving at him for? And i said oh he waves at me everyday. And my DH was like oh thats quite odd. And he didnt look too happy about it. Just went quiet.

Your DH is the oddest thing in this . What is strange about waving to someone you know ? I would find it odd if my DH didn’t wave if he saw someone he knew driving by .

Never understood why people create all this angst, and don’t just talk to each other. Eg: “DH, it’s quite strange. I see Bob every day and we wave at each other, but he totally ignores me when we’re all together?!”

Maybe its you that's doing the smiling and waving and he is just reciprocating. Next time you see him on the street - pretend that you have not seen him and look other way or do something so you can avoid him.
He sounds like a freak.

It does all sound very odd. Sounds like all 3 of them are aware of something you arent. Why the fuck are they all weird with you, and why would you not wave at someone you know?

What I think is really odd is your husband asking why you wave at the guy, and then commenting negatively on it, and also the friend ignoring you when your husband is around and yet your husband doesn't comment on that?