Is this strange? Hubbys friend?

[Lullaby88]

So one my hubbys friends im finding a bit odd. He is very helpful and friendly and I have nothing against him. We have been over to eachothers houses and had meals. he is married with kids. Me and his wife dont really get on in the sense we are just very formal to eachother. She seems quite aloof tbh. We just meet for the sake of our husbands to chatter.
Anyway whenever Iv been out on my own for a walk with my child which id routinely do everyday we would always bump into eachother as in he would be driving and id be walking. Maybe he would be coming back from work to have lunch as it was always the same time. He would slow the car and look and smile. Which i thought was kind of him so id smile back. But it was like allll the time and he would stare, slow down and he also began waving. So id wave back and smile. Now all that is fine.. but the strange thing is when my husband is around he literally wont bat an eyelid my way or even speak to me. Once me, him and hubby were standing together and he just blanked me out completly. This has been happening for ages now. Mayb im overthinking? So havent mentioned it to hubby as its all a bit cringe to think or mention it!

I like have Alternative perspective has warped this into some deluded story.
When I said i could feel someone looking at me? Does that not happen to anyone but me? When u just feel someone is staring at u? Plus i had my peripheral vision to aid me on that occassion. And no i wont make things up in my head im not a crazy woman . Im happily married.
Maybe it is true the person who said it is typical male behaviour. Im just rubbish at reading things when it comes to men and i can get myself into a mess hence i needed opinions. Thanks all. P.S. I walked that route the same everyday as I am very much routine based and to keep fit i had to walk the hill and the timing all worked out for me i wasnt going to mess it up just because my husbands friend was smiling at me. Thanks again guys!

@Sundance2741

Maybe the wife is cold because she secretly loves you or your husband or both?

I never thoughy of that. Maybe its true hahahaha!

Your husband knows something's up. He might already sense his friend has a crush on you but doesn't want to admit it.

Seriously, most likely explanation is a crush and to avoid trouble in the future with either your husband or his wife, I would suggest keeping your distance when not in the company of others. You can wave briefly but don't look too pleased to see him, unless he gets more pushy, in which case you'll have to tell him to back off.

i could feel eyes on me 'feeling' someone's eyes on you is a pretty well known phenomenon, not quite sure why people are questioning this.

OP he sounds creepy, men don't usually smile at women to be 'kind'.

Your gut is right - he is a creep ..... no one slows down like that an leers everyday .... it seems almost like kerb crawling.....and he is IMHO verging on harassment/stalking as it makes you feel v uncomfortable.

With these persistence “low level” behaviours it’s the cumulative affect that is intimidating - you would sound petty to react to a one incident.

I suspect that your DH knows his friends reputation (sleaze) and was alarmed that he didn’t know that you had a level of connection.

I would walk a different route / time and if he manages to track you down and repeat the kerb crawling - I would have made plans about how to deal with it.

As it isn't normal behaviour from your husband, it implies he may know that this guy is a sleeze.
Ask him.

Walk your normal route but ignore him.

He's a sleeze.
Bet his wife knows it too.

My husband is fine with me talking to all his friends and his friends are all on great terms with me its just this guy that goes all weird infront of my husband and it makes me feel quite awkward Based on this, I’d say that the whole relationship between the four of you is... strange.

It’s definitely weird that the friend is reacting to you differently depending on whether your husband is there or not. It’s weird that your husband has obviously noticed his unfriendliness towards you but still wants you to go round their house with him. It’s weird that, instead of asking his friend why he is so rude to you, your husband thinks that the appropriate course of action is for you to blank the friend and not to wave when you see him. It’s weird that you don’t just say ‘the husband is rude to me and the wife is cold to me, I’m not going anymore‘.

Maybe his wife is aloof because she knows her DH has a crush on you?

Not really fair on you, but if I knew my DH had a thing for one of his friends’ wives, I wouldn’t be inviting her over for him to slaver over. Not because I’d blame her for his stupid crush, or think anything was going to happen, but because it would piss me off to have to watch him making such a fool of himself.

Thanks for the advice guys and if I put it in context its not that strange. Pre-lockdown there was a group of us that would rotate between eachothers homes. So it wasn't just me and the wife and our husbands there were more people there. I wouldnt go if i didnt enjoy going. Ofcourse if it was a one off with just us 4 and i was invited then id go but i wouldnt put myself through grief just to please my husband. Hope that makes more sense now...

Definitely makes more sense now OP, but my first point still stands. Normal innocent people don’t blank their friends wives when their friend is there, but act all smiley and wave when the wife is on her own. I think you’re right to be suspicious.

I think the wife is cool because she knows he fancies you and your DH wasn't pleased because he knows the guy is a creep or your DH also knows he fancies you

Very true. I think il just pretend i dont see him when im out. I appreciate the insight as it was too cringe to ask anyone i personally know as these things can start into stupid rumours thatl cause a lot of upset.

If you weren't actually looking at him, I think you would need to be psychic to discern someone looking at you in a lascivious way, or indeed in a bored, stuck-in-traffic 'Do I know her?' way, or an idle 'I wonder where that woman bought that nice-looking sandwich she's eating?' kind of way.

That's not true, it's often why you look up in a specific direction and see someone looking at you - it's an instinctual reaction I think. I feel it too.

You can often tell someone is looking at you without looking their way, sure, but my point is you can't know whether they're thinking 'Do I know her from somewhere?', 'Oh, nice coat, I wonder where she got it', or 'That woman is so spellbindingly attractive I want to stop my car and proposition her on the pavement right now'.

Ok lets clear this. I was in the drive of my house buckling my child in. He clearly wouldve recognised me regardless as my neighbourhood is quite small. But for the sake of argument he knows thats my drive where I was buckling my child in. And theres not many cars that come down my road so when a car does and hear it slowing it alerts u, however i felt eyes on me too and it was the friend. So there we go. Im happy that there are people who actually understand this instinct orelse i wouldv thought i was going mad. Everytime its happened iv been righ